pimpin' and crimpin'

New Website!

2008-10-08T22:35:00.003-06:00

We've moved! Maybe we're getting too big for our britches, but we've decided it was about time to leave blogspot.com behind. We're now at
http://pimpinandcrimpin.com

Hopefully, we'll be able to do a lot of cool shit with our new found freedom. Of course, that's what I said when I moved out of my parents house and all I did was get drunk and watch porn at 9am. So don't hold your breath.

Numb3rs

2008-10-06T07:45:00.003-06:00

I've never watched the show Numb3rs ever. I think it's about math. Math and crime fighting. Seems boring to me but whatever. This new episode of it though is called High Exposure. I've been watching it. It's all about climbing. Something about climbing and diamonds and math and crime fighting. I'm through the first five minutes and aside from the awesome Camel back he's wearing it seems accurate (you know 1 climber, 1 belayer. None of that magical we're climbing next to each other on top rope with no belayer shit like in Mr. and Mrs. Smith) OH! and they even use a song in the first scene from the Dosage 3 soundtrack if my ears and memory aren't deceiving me. Anyway check it out here.

P&Cer Update!

2008-10-05T18:26:00.003-06:00

The four incredibly talented and sexy contributors here at P&C don't typically boast about our own climbing achievements, however, I can't pass up the opportunity to relay to our readers that our one and only Limit has been CRUSHING! The kid is unstoppable right now, dispensing with projects at will. In the past two weeks our little Great White has concluded an epic journey with the classic CCC testpiece, Stuffed Wolf (13b), cruised River Run (13b), manhandled Hand Me the Cantina Boy (12d/13a), The Gauntlet (12d), flashed Pinche Guey (12c), and who knows how many lowly 12s. Call the Photographers, Limit is going to the Crag!

Timmy O'Neill: The Interview

2008-10-05T17:51:00.009-06:00

C-Note got to sit down and take a few photos with Timmy a while ago and I had the pleasure of doing a "fucking extemporaneous IM interview"(as he so eloquently put it) with him not too long after. Click through for the goods.
You're a fairly prominent figure in the climbing community. People know Timmy. We see you in Patagonia ads and Peter Mortimer films and we all think you're great, but I have no idea what you actually do. What do you actually do?
I wake up each day, scrub my teeth with nylon bristles, pull pants over my legs, a shirt over my torso and slip my feet into sandals, then I drink coffee.
That sounds like the best deal ever.
After that it really depends but that is the most routine that my day is, any day that I have.
It seems you have plenty of time to climb though, which I suppose is an important thing, if not THE important thing.
What I do is interact with humanity through myriad forms of communication both real/in-person and virtual. It's climber/kayaker/mountain biker, meets life-coach, plays mad rock and roll drums, and changes lives through climbing.
Where have you been in the last 6 months?
Cusco, Peru - April 11th until April 25th
Hike the Inca trail with my brother Tommy and my Dad.

Koraro, Ethiopia - April 28th until May 18th
Work with ophthalmologist Geoff Tabin as part of the Millennium Village Project.

Silverton, Colorado - May 20th until June 4th
Play music with my band The Dust Storm incl. a show in Durango, Colorado.

Vail, Colorado - June 4th until June 8th
Emcee at the Teva Mountain Games, and play drums with the Dust Storm.

Scotland June -15th - June 28th
Sail in the North Sea on the Ezra, a 44ft cutter
Climb the Old Man of Hoy

New Zealand - July 1st until July 25th
Perform at the New Zealand Mountain Film Festival

Telluride, Colorado - August 1st - August 3rd
Attend the Chuck Kroger memorial festival and play live rock and roll.

Salt Lake City, Utah - August 8th – August 11th
Outdoor Retailer Summer Market

Holy shit.
In February I was in southern Chile in the Patagonia region climbing with Yvonne Chounaird and others and making a film. I am off to the Valley to climb for the next 5-weeks.
That's amazing.
I am planning on climbing with my brother Sean, a T-12 paraplegic, up the NOSE on El Capitan in a hopefully sub-24-hour ascent for the first one-day ascent of El cap by a paraplegic then I climb El Cap with another brother Tommy - the Shield in 3-days and 2-nights
That's crazy
I also am bringing up ophthalmologist Geoff Tabin, who I helped cure blindness in Ethiopia this summer.
So you have a busy schedule.
We are doing the West Face (24-pitches w some 5.11 amd a lot of 5.10. It will be the biggest climb he has ever done. I am going back to Africa with him. After the Valley I will be there until October 20th. I head south on Oct. 23rd for a week in Mexico City, Mexico where I speak at a mountain film festival and climb. Then Nov. 3rd up to Banff Mountain Film Festival for a week in Alberta to do a series of 20-podcast/videocast interviews and a slew of emcee work for the BEST mountain film festival on the planet.
I can't imagine having that busy of a schedule.
How do you feel about the direction of climbing? Do you feel it's headed in a good direction? Are we raising young climbers to be a new generation of environmentally conscious rock jocks? Do you think the climbing community as a whole is doing loads of good?
Climbing is one of the many activities that I participate in, and that goes for the vast majority of those that call themselves climbers, either inside or outside. The direction of climbing has always been up, literally, as we ascend the boulder or wall and metaphorically as our numbers in the community rise and our awareness of the limited resources and our need to be proactive stewards regarding access and care. Climbing is one of my interests and it is a personal and obscure venture that serves my needs to commune with mama nature and challenge myself physically and mentally in a non-conventional manner. "Never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead. There are a few people in the climbing community trying to make change. The rest are simply enjoying the activity and that is a very worthwhile and valuable thing.
Did you and Caroline come up with any compelling meaning in your discussion of the value of honesty in lust and love?
No.
But we really enjoyed the attempts. That is the important thing to remember; the trying is where it is. The unknown, will you make it OR not. In other words - being real with yourself and your motivations is paramount to being the same with others as well as the external representations of you i.e. your climbing project, art concept, music arrangements, job, relationships with family and friends. To bring or providing the same to others.
You have a reputation for being crazy Timmy, from panties on the summit to Paris Hilton sex tapes to every single thing I've seen you emcee but talking with you now I don't get that at all. Where's that come out? Is it just morning time?
It is me morning day and night - I am serious about being funny and over-the-top and also very serious about connecting with humanity in a substantial way that feeds my desire to help people. I love making people laugh with as much gusto as I enjoy making them feel better about a difficult period in their life be it the loss of a loved one, the loss of the leg, or the loss of their self respect. I am a serious student of life, love, laughter and living in the moment. "Live life as if you will die tomorrow and learn as if you will live forever." -Mahatma Ghandi. I am a very public person and lend my wit and charisma to many projects i.e. films, emcee, IM interviews but some of my favorite is bringing an ailing person (whatever the ailment is) further back to health.
Is that the part of people that's giving you this passion for humanity. Giving them something back? Bringing them up ultimately, bottom line: helping.
I am one of 7 kids and we are close and in my neighborhood we were 21 kids in a row in three houses. I am swarmed with people, need them around me, gravitate to them like the earth to sun, I interact instantly and deeply with others in order to nourish my need for truth and understanding and empathy and compassion. The other side of the sword is that nothing is sacred, sacrosanct is nonsense for me, for others sorry if I step on your blessed toes or trample on your sense of decorum, decency. I am a churl in humor and a paragon in humanity - that is the irony is that I find the humor in the hurt and expose it. I was just back in Philly visiting my family and it felt as if I was bring drawn and quartered with love, pulled by myriad arms and needs and directions.
You seem like a man with more love to give than anything. Do you find yourself able to commit yourself personally to others regularly? With your schedule and your compassion. Is it hard for SO's to understand why you do what you do?
Had a serious SO for a number of years and now I am single, so I have the opportunity to experience different women, not necessarily as a player or anything, other than just being open. I travel and sometimes I meet someone I connect with, I am not looking for an SO but she is out there, perhaps reading these words, lurking at the coffee shop, attending the next performance of my band, who knows - life is short and I love love.
What's the most important thing in life? In one sentence
The most important thing in life is yourself, your own health and state of mind; you are your own temple, and charity starts at home baby - give to yourself first so you can give to others. See ya.

(All photos by Caroline Treadway)

Overheard

2008-10-04T16:39:00.003-06:00

The occasion: My buddy Derek is working a piss hard (for us) route and crimping the shit out of some heinous micro holds.

Unkown Chossmonger (pointing at Derek's project): have you ever been on that before?

Me: once or twice.

Chossmonger: are those holds really small, or does he just like making a fist when he crimps to get more pumped?

Me: what??

Chossmonger's friend: what the fuck are you talking about?

Innocent Cyclist Maims Goose

2008-10-01T14:00:00.007-06:00

At approximately 1:18 this afternoon, I hit a Canadian Goose with my bike. Moments before the accident, I stood inside Boston University's rec center, assessing the ride home. I impatiently set out into the gray, persistent rain having decided this little squall was no match for me and my bike—aka soon-to-be-weapon-of-mini-destruction. Within seconds I was soaked. Streets morphed into tidal waterways and rising water obscured large potholes. Slogging along the warped bikepath by the Charles, I decided to pass a painfully slow fellow commuter. Congregating geese parted to form a perfectly clear passing lane and I took it. I stepped on my pedals just as the unsuspecting victim waddled out. The goose squealed and I cleared the handlebars.

I stood up and stared as the squawking mob surrounded my bike and the goose untangled its long neck from my spokes. Cars sprayed hosefuls of water on us as they passed. The geese glared and I glared back. The New Yorker in me couldn't help but think,"Stupid goose! Who the hell steps in front of a bike?!" I watched my victim limp off, wincing when its webbed foot touched the broken asphalt. Frustration instantly melted into "Stupid human!"

On the way home, I soothed my soggy ego with Dunkin' Donuts—New England's claim to fried sugar fame. But the doughy innertubes didn't make me feel better about anything, except Boston's recent trans-fat ban, which has actually resulted in less tasty fare. By the time I got home to examine my bent, feathered bike, the rain had stopped. I guess timing really is everything.

Out of context

2008-10-01T11:06:00.000-06:00

Heard this today:

"Thinking of climbers like gay men really helps me understand"

Speaking of Chris

2008-10-01T10:41:00.003-06:00

A friend just showed me this video. Chris super Sharma doing a little top roping for NPR it's pretty amazing...

click the photo or hit more for the vid.

Sharmaster is a lizard king

2008-10-01T09:41:00.003-06:00

It would seem Super Sharma didn't want to rest at all after sending his Clark Mountain project Jumbo Love (5.15b). He decided to run on over to Maple Canyon and onsight some classics in the Pipe Dream cave. When I say classics I mean ridiculously hard climbs including a 13c, 13d/14a, 14a/b, and a 14b. Not only that but it's in Maple where onsights are not so easy because of the gnarly cobbles and ridiculous beta.

Check the whole story on climbing.com
Photo courtesy of climbing.com

24HCR (AGAIN.) and free shit!

2008-09-24T00:31:00.008-06:00

So it's no secret that P&Cers are completely irresponsible and completely juvenile so when we teamed up with our new comrades from Patagonia for the 24 Hours of Horseshoe Hell competition things are no different. We knew the comp wasn't for another few days but sometimes you have to man up and start the party early. Sometimes that involves publicly embarrassing fellow contributor bronco with pictures his mother will never be proud of. Click through for shenanigans or don't but it will be your loss.

On another note, if you aren't coming to Arkansas for the festivities shame on you. The P&C party is going to be beyond excellent and the comp the following morning should be ripe with hangovers. In the event that you don't make it be sure to belly up to a bar somewhere and have a shot of whiskey Friday. If you do make sure and take a good picture. The top three best looking pictures including debauchery and over consumption will win P&C shot glasses. So get after it! Drink hard and climb harder! (oh and don't forget the excellent pictures after the jump)

Newbie: Beta

2008-09-17T11:06:00.009-06:00

Here's another Newbie comic from John P. Hope you like it, there's even a special guest!

Drink More Whiskey

2008-09-16T21:55:00.006-06:00

...because the west wasn't won on craft beer.

Whiskey Wednesday

2008-09-16T07:04:00.003-06:00

Rock Climbers are blowing up right now! This Whiskey Wednesday is a general salute to everyone out there pushing your limits whether it's 5.9 or 5.14+. If you haven't heard about the Jumbo Love (5.15b) going down, then you have been living in a hole! However, check the jump for even more rad sends... If you've been to Rifle in the past couple months, chances are you've seen the Bauhaus posse. Dave Graham, Joe Kinder, and Daniel Woods have been kicking it in RMP and crushing. All three have now redpointed Girl Talk (14c) which could be Rifle's hardest route. Dave and Joe set their sites on Kryptonite out at the Fortress. To date, Dave has sent and Joe is said to be close. You can check the progress on joekindkid.com, Good Luck! What else? Crazy town Cobra Crack sees three repeats by Ethan Pringle, Nicolas Favresse, and Matt Segal! Oh, Sharma decides to go out and repeat Kinder's Golden Direct (5.14d).

Blah Blah... This is sounding too easy for these guys. Damn, seeing this shit go down gets me psyched, especially since I just put my draws on a new project! Ladies and Gentlemen, raise your Whiskey glasses to those pushing it, if that's you, then treat yourself to a sourmash beverage and say "Damn, I am awesome!" Happy Wednesday folks!.

Photo: climbing.com joe Kinder on Golden Direct (5.14d)

Back to the Future

2008-09-14T11:09:00.003-06:00

You've got to love 80's climbing footage. Scope Kristen Drumheller's glasses!.

Sharma Sends Clark Mountain Super Proj

2008-09-13T09:34:00.004-06:00

I've called a lot of things futuristic in my time-usually a move on my friends woody that I can barely stick. Or a 5.5 chosspile I screamed my way up while soloing in flip flops. Most things I've called "futuristic" are in fact, damn near prehistoric. I always choose choose irony over good diction.

Today, that changes.

If you saw King Lines, your jaw was probably sitting in your lap when you saw Sharma's super project at Clark Mountain. The fucker is 240 feet long and unbelievably steep. It has essentially zero rests. Working it results in repeated 60 foot whippers-longer than most routes I've done. Well, Sharma sent the thing Thursday.

VIDEO REMOVED FROM YOUTUBE. SORRY YA'LL. (go buy King Line's it's definitely worth it. KICK ASS MOVIE)

Now that, my friends, is Futuristic.

GET HOT!!!

2008-09-13T09:33:00.004-06:00

If you haven't seen our golden boy, The Wig, in all his glory, then click the jump to scope it.

Here's the link.

Rifle Clean Up Photos

2008-09-13T08:11:00.011-06:00

We cleaned, we climbed, we partied! Here are the pics to prove it.

Angela and Cassidy excited to help clean up Rifle Mtn Park.

Limit scooping his project.

Climb, Climb, Climb!

This is how Rifle rolls, kegs in the creek!

The party starts! Dan gives us the nitty gritty on his redpoint of The 7pm Show. Nice Work Dan! Thanks to Adam Avery for providing the vehicle to all kinds of nonsense.

Giddy up! The girls start the dance party.

This is some serious boogie. It was a crouch-grabbing good time!

And this is where it lead!

Yes, the famous Chilean Alpine Rescue Dog made an appearance.

Thanks to everyone who came out to the clean up and the sponsors! We had a great time!

More Sickness

2008-09-12T07:25:00.004-06:00

Alex Honnold, I want to have your baby. There I said it! This kid is off the charts these days. Is there anything he can't do? Here's the link, peep it!

Party Party Party!

2008-09-11T22:35:00.004-06:00

So I know Bronco touched on this for Whiskey Wednesday, but I thought I'd reiterate some key things. We are going to 24 Hours of Horseshoe Hell. We are hosting a party Friday night of the event. It's a Whiskey Wednesday party! As you can see from the photo on the right we got shot glasses for the event with our namesake on them. We are celebrating in true WW style with beer and whiskey shots for all those with hairy enough chests to participate. Be there or be square. Click "MORE!" to see what Limit and Bronco look like with Whiskey Face

Photo Me! Finally the Winners Emerge

2008-09-11T21:18:00.006-06:00

When the death threats started rolling in I thought it would be in my best interest to cease my current procrastination mode and actually post the winners of the Photo Me! contest here at P&C. Thanks for all the entries ya'll. Hit it now for the big winners!!!Drumroll please! Our first featured photo and Winner of the sick F-Stop Notebook bag is Lee Cujes all the way from the Land Down Under. Lee sent us some really great shots. The one we picked is of Cass Crane on a route called Walk the Plank (24, thats 5.12a for the layperson) Point Perpendicular, NSW, Australia.

Our Runner-up winner is Joel Sprenger's photo of slacklining mania at Smith Rocks. The Story goes that the slacklinor braved mid-30 degree temps with wind gusts up to 20 miles an hour on his monkey face highline. Anyway, Joel actually found the camera that he shot this pic with. Great Job Joel!

Our third placer is Chris Marks with a photo from the one and only Yosemite Valley. What a cool position. Nice work Christopher! I'll hand deliver your prize.

Thanks for everyone that participated and sent us photos and thanks to F-Stop for providing the excellent swag! Hope you guys enjoy. Sorry it took so long.

Tree Huggers

2008-09-11T07:43:00.004-06:00

We at P&C are appreciators of conservation. I mean really. We dig that green shit. Like we use super low carbon emitting laptops. We use public transportation like Firefox to get from place to place on the internet. What I'm sayin' is that we try our best to be for the environment. It's something that seems to go hand in hand with climbing. I came across this today though and I'm certain that crying about trees does not help the trees grow back more quickly. It's the first time I've seen someone morn the death of a plant since...wait it actually IS the first time because before this I gave people more credit and thought that no one could be this incredibly ridiculous.

click the picture or hit the jump for full video.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Whiskey Wednesday

2008-09-10T07:37:00.003-06:00

Good Morning P&C and Merry Wednesday, or should I say Whiskey Wednesday! Yes, today is the day we salute those we hold in respect. This week is no different, but yet it is. With the announcement that we here at P&C are sponsoring our very first party at the 24 Hours of Horseshoe Hell Competition this month in Arkansas the Wig gave me a great idea. Hit the Jump to figure it out. So, this Week's Whiskey Wednesday goes out to Team Patagonia! Sonnie Trotter, Brittany Griffith, Kristo Torgenson, and Will Stanhope. Not only are we excited to have you guys at this event this year, but we have an even bigger challenge to pose than that actual climbing for 24 hours. The Rules will be stipulated at the Pimpin & Crimpin sanctioned PBR kegger and Whiskey shooting roundup. Hope the Canadian Superboy has the stamina to go shot for shot with us.

Anyway, Sonnie has been tearing it up lately. Freshly off a repeat of Rhapsody, you may know him more as Canadian wonderboy that stuck the first ascent of The Cobra Crack. Anyhoo, we are psyched to give him a run for his money in something that we may be on teh same level as Sonnie, no, not climbing, drinking! Guess we will see. Pictures and stories to come after the Hell is over.

.

Good Luck Team Patagonia during this year's comp, you'll need it after we get done with you friday night.

CCGOTW: Heather

2008-09-09T00:29:00.014-06:00

It's been a bit I know, but here's another one. This is a special lady. She plays kickball. She shanks things. She will basically make you think you need to move to her locale immediately. Read the interview. Check the pictures. Leave a comment. Click through and check this girl out.

Name: Heather Jagger
Age: 24
Location: Corona, CA

Name: Heather Jagger
Age: 24
Location: Corona, CA
What kind of climbing do you normally find yourself doing?
Mostly bouldering in the gym because it's what's takes over the gym, but I always prefer top roping outside for sure
How long have you been climbing?
I’m just a wee one, only a little over a year.
Oh you ARE a wee one! So no leading for you yet huh?
I've lead a couple 5.10's in the gym but not too much outdoors. I don't trust my climbing THAT much yet. I've been known to accidentally skip a few clips and almost kill myself.
What's your favorite outside crag?
The Quarry in Riverside. I love that place. Who else has benches!?
Wait. They have benches?
Yeah, it's fan-freakin-tasic! Benches! Below every climb!
Like a lazy man's (persons) crag.
That's the one. Plus the climbs are great. They have everything. Only a guy killed himself there a couple weeks ago so that kind of put a damper on things...
I would say that's more than a damper.
It really is. There's blood all over a rock with a big X.
That's... unnerving. Let’s move to lighter things if you were eating a fruit roll up do you piece it out and eat it slowly or do you shove the whole thing in your mouth at once?
Actually I wrap it around my finger and try to make it sharp like a prison shank and stab things with it. I used to throw it up against the window so it would stick and partially melt.
There was no possible better answer.
It's just how I roll. I’m a known shanker around here.
What is your favorite micro brew?
As in beer?
Yes ma'am.
Fat Tire, but I can't even finish one. I get so stuffed... and drunk, off just one. Yes it's ridiculous. I know.
You're saying one beer gets you drunk?
Yes sir. I guess that's how the cookie crumbles when you weigh 100 pounds and hardly ever drink. I’m a cheap date for sure.
Well... I can't think of anything that's not inappropriate to say in response to that so onto the next question. If you could spend a whole day climbing with one "professional" climber who would it be and why?
Oh man, I'm awful at knowing who anyone is. I just look at the pictures and read the articles in the mags. I don't think I'd want to climb with anyone that good. I’d just feel inadequate. I’d much rather stick to my friends. I'd be way too intimidated.
Look at that picture of you in shorts, cowboy boots and some rainbow shit. THAT would be intimidating.
Hahaha well that was the plan.
Well it certainly worked.
I take kick ball very seriously. I’m way too competitive.
So you play kickball?
Yeah, our league is a bunch of gangsters and old people. It's freakin bad. We were undefeated all season
That's awesome
I even played on crutches. We don't mess around. I caught one amazing ball in our last game. They stuck me in the outfield to be useless with my sprained ankle. It was like a scene from some kids movie where the ball was coming at my face so fast and I just put my arms out and caught it…That’s what she said…
Yes! Tell me how you feel about shirtless dudebrahs dyno-screaming at the gym in pursuit of female attraction.
Ahh! I want to punch them in the back of the head! But the worst, are the freakin’ dumb girls who come with their cleavage and pretend to know what they're doing just to get the guys to look at them. I want to shank them too.
Use that fruit roll up.
I do, in my head...
What's your favorite thing about climbing?
Hmmm… it's always different. I mean there is always something new to try and something to challenge you. Plus you get to roll around in piles of chalk.
There's always that.
There is… and I love being outside, of course.
Of course. What do you do when you're not climbing?
I take pictures obsessively. I'm a photographer. Or I ride my freaking awesome bike around with my deer bell. I just got a yellow tandem bike. It's A-MA-ZING. I always feel like I need a theme song playing when I ride it.

Mass Suicide in Boulder

2008-09-05T18:08:00.007-06:00

BOULDER, CO

In shocking news this week, Boulder police learned of a mass suicide which occurred in what was thought to be an abandoned warehouse on the northeast side of boulder. According to Investigator Charlie Stiles, the suicide was at first thought to be a standard cult suicide by religious nuts. “We were about to close the case on this one. It seemed like a pretty cut and dry case of cult idiocy,” says Stiles.

That was before reports came filtering in from friends and relatives of the victims and even one defector of the group who revealed that those involved were largely avid atheists and agnostics. According to the former member, who asked to remain anonymous, the group had a very diverse religious mix. “Although about half the members were atheists or agnostics, there were also Buddhists, a few catholics and protestants. I think there may have even been a Scientologist or two.” When asked about what brought the group together, he began to tear and said simply “Glaciers.”

Stiles said,“We had to go back and take a second look at the crime scene after this revelation. It just didn't add up.” “That's when we found the suicide note.” The note was a lengthy explanation of the groups history, purpose and goals and explained in detail the reason for their mass suicide.

Five years ago a group 50 Boulder citizens formed the social action committee (SAC) called Boulderites against Glacial Retreat (BAGR) and had swelled to 200 members by 2008. Their goal was to stop the retreat of glaciers worldwide through social and personal reform and which included the aggressive minimization of their personal carbon footprints.

“We loved glaciers. We had basically dedicated our heart, souls, bodies and lives to saving them. Honestly, it was the only thing that mattered to us,” says the former member.

The BAGR note explains the decision with detail.

“We knew we had been making little if any progress. We had eliminated nearly every contributor to our carbon footprint. We had sold our cars, gone off the electric grid, began growing our own food to eliminate our contribution to trucking carbon emissions. We became vegetarians to eliminate the CO2 produced by livestock. We had even decided as a group to have zero offspring so that we would not be guilty of bringing more little carbon consumers into the world. Our own bodies were the only part of our existence producing carbon.

Last week we learned of the Rhode Island sized B-10A iceberg breaking off the glaciers of Antarctica. This represented absolute and total failure to us. In silence we watched the behemoth mass of ice slide into the ocean. We had dedicated our lives and souls to these glaciers. It was like watching somebody you had sworn to protect slipping into a pool of lava and knowing it was your fault. It was absolutely heart wrenching.

At that point it was obvious. We had to make the ultimate sacrifice. By eliminating our breaths and our carbon dioxide from the planet, perhaps we can save at least a few pounds of beautiful glacial ice.”

A Gallup poll indicates that the response of most Texans to buy a second Hummer.

Angie Payne crushes V12 in Estes Park!

2008-09-04T20:55:00.006-06:00

Angie Payne has just unveiled the first female ascent of Dave Graham's legendary European Human Being in Rocky Mtn. Nat'l Park. Angie, you are my hero. Mad respect!! I took these photos last season when Angie was attempting the problem. Now I finally have a use for them—Yippee!

Peep this video!

2008-09-02T09:17:00.004-06:00

Jonny Copp—alpine adventurer/writer/photographer extraordinaire/most positive guy in the whole world—has made a very cool video from his Spring trip to Europe with Micah Dash. Viva la alps and Radiohead—together as one! Check it! http://www.coppworks.com/video/euroadv/euroadv.html

Oh..Dub!

2008-08-31T19:01:00.010-06:00

Oh my freakin dub. Yours truly has peered into the dark dark world of the offwidth and has seen things that no sport climber should witness. Lungs bursting, elbows flaming, ankle skin tearing, big bro placing, gaging, kicking, screaming and swearing was the scene at Poland Hill in Vedauwoo, Wyoming yesterday as I tried to sell my soul to the gods of offwidth...My first route ever at the Woo, Fantasia 5.9+, was not a pretty sight, except for my vintage blue with lime green tubing Western apparel. You haven't witnessed something so awkward since the last episode of the Office. I don't know if I've ever felt more relief topping out a route as I did this 60 foot 5.9! Offwidth is like fighting a grizzly bear in a pool filled with melted butter, there's no strategy in a death-match from hell!

This first pic is starting the route, I was not this enthusiastic during my 45 minute epic! I now respect the wideness and those masochistic bastards that dabble in this dark art.

The other pics include the Masters of Offwidth couple Jason and Ellie getting dirty on The Desiderata and Darren Mabe on Pyschoshop.

Anyway, the woo was fun, here are some pics from my route and a small OW bouldering session this afternoon. Enjoy.

Sexual Plastic

2008-08-30T01:31:00.002-06:00

Here at P&C we have our minds permanently fixed to dirtiest part of the gutter, and since I've been drinking Screwdrivers since nooooon and it's 3:30 in NYC so i thought this was an appropriate time to post this. We want to start a new section called sexual plastic. We've all thought it. We've all seen it. Climbing holds are occasionally shaped like sexual organs. Now. It might be because we're all too sexually pent up to deal with those issues outside the climbing gym, but who cares. These are hysterical. If you find a hold out there that's particularly sexual, send it to us! We'll post it up! We all know you have camera phones and fancy things like that. So lets get you contributing.

also there is nothing after the jump...

Wine and Cheese

2008-08-26T23:01:00.003-06:00

The Poor man's Reisling and Gouda....

24HHH

2008-08-25T08:40:00.000-06:00

It's finally here again! 24 Hours of Horseshoe Hell!!! For those of you not familiar with the event, here's how it goes down: You get a totally awesome partner and name your team something. I hear the "Murky Brown Pantloaders" will be a force to be reckoned with this year, and I've heard weirder team names like "The Coming Out Party".Anyway after that you stock up on essentials like energy drinks and cigarettes. Join the rest of the teams at Horseshoe Canyon Ranch, and when they say "go" you go try to climb as many routes as you can for a full 24 hours. This isn't namby pampy top roping either. We're talking full on LEAD CLIMBING SPORT ROUTES! You know the kind of stuff you only see Dave Graham doing or the artist formerly known as Prince Sharma.

There's more though. If you don't want to do that you can just volunteer. Supposedly there are going to be parties and free food and live music and even a photo contest. OH! and if I remember correctly...THEY GAVE AWAY BEER. For that reason alone I am driving all the way from New York just reunite with that sweet man nectar. That sounded gross.

Another thing. This, I believe will be P&C's first official event. With any luck a majority if not all of us will be there and with a little more luck we'll have free shit to hand out like P&C t-shirts and with even more luck you'll be blessed enough to catch a glimpse of us, share a gurt or even give us a beer. In any instance I highly recommend you be there for the climbing event of the year. There is a competitor cap, so if you want to get involved to to this website right now and register. For real. Or contact them and tell them you want to volunteer.

See you in HELL.

No need to click through there's nothing but naked pictures of Bronco after the jump.

Crag Exposure: Ten Sleep Canyon

2008-08-23T11:25:00.009-06:00

WARNING: with blue and grey streaked walls so steep and pockets so small you may spontaneously blurt out phrases in French. People have been shot for much less in this part of Wyoming. For the goodies on TS hit the jump now!

Giddy Up! The Wild West comes alive in Ten Sleep, Wyoming. From local Outlaws to Saloons to wide open vistas, Ten Sleep is the O.K. Corral of the Climbing world. Far from the "Scene" of Rifle, Ten Sleep is a much more relaxed destination. With so much rock, some developed and some awaiting development, it will make you want to slap your mama and say your favorite expletive! Sorry ma, I really don't want to slap you.

This delightful Dolomite canyon has seen most of it's concentrated activity from the mid to late nineties to the present. TS is a great destination crag for those of you that need or want more elbow room than you local crag. With 20+ walls and more on the way, TS is quickly becoming a must do on the would be Western Climber's road trip itinerary. If you can't make the TS this season, plan on a little known climber's festival held there over the Fourth of July holiday next year. The festival has been growing in popularity the last few years and should be a darn tootin good time.

The Scene: Boys, don't expect to saddle up a cragging filly in cute little boulder booty shorts, you're more likely to see or rein in a dame that looks like she just hog-tied a goat and milked it. Exceptions do exist, like this chica in the photos, but I think she's taken. Girls, watch yourselves at the crag, hungry female-starved males are lurking in the shadows, seriouslyHowever, if you are going to Ten Sleep for Rock Climbing, then you are in luck! There are plenty O'Rocks to climb and it's fun too.

Ten Sleep's crags are around 50 miles west of Buffalo, Wyoming. This is where you need to stock up on the essentials. There is an Outdoor/Sporting store in Buffalo that sells things like Ropes, Petzl draws, and harnesses, but don't expect to get them cheap. Also, Buffalo is where you lose cell phone service for the next hundred miles west, so make your calls.

Before you go, you should probably buy the Ten Sleep guidebook, even though some of the info is incorrect, it's still very useful in navigating your way around. Aaron Huey is the author and you can click here to find out where to purchase. Camping is free and pretty darn abundant on the Old Highway. If you are looking for more luxurious accomadations, there is a campground a few miles up canyon from the crag. Okay okay, here's the shit you really want to know.

Must Do's:

1. Beer Bong 5.10, although I didn't get on this route, I assume it's the area's most heavily traveled climb.
2. Save the Best For Last 5.11 (Wall of Denial), climbs next to an ice cave that is seriously 20 to 30 degrees cooler than the outside temps. Great route!
3. Circus in the Wind 5.11 b/c (Circus Wall), classic 5.11!
4. Sleight of Hand 5.12a (Dry Wall), long and sustained, like most 12a's in TS.
5. Great White Behemoth 5.12b (Supereratic Wall), top three sport pitches I have ever been on! Worth the seven our drive to do this route and visit this wall!
6. Happiness in Slavery 5.12b (Slavery), Classic 12b climbing on pockets and edges. An area favorite.
7. Center El Shinto 5.12b (French Cattle Ranch), I can't say the word sick enough! French Cattle Ranch and Supereratic walls are two of the best looking sport walls out there!
8. Circus in My Pants 5.12d (Circus Wall), great route with the gaston mono-pocket! Sustained and awesome!
9. Exo-Atmospheric Kill Vehicle, aka EKV, 5.12c (Slavery), Pumpy, sustained, great!
10. Burden of Immortality 5.13a (Slavery), check the rope length! Long and cruxy.
11. Hellion 5.13c (Supereratic), Gorgeous is all I have to say!
12. Sky Pilot 5.13+ (French Cattle Ranch). Pretty much, do any route you can at this area!
13. Several 14 projects that need to be cleaned up for those of you that like monos, micro crimps, and long moves on steep rock!

Ten Sleep is legit! If you happen to run into some of the local yokal climbers such as Kevin or Alli, they are super-cool and will be happy to give you any updated beta on the area as well as direct you to the best that Ten Sleep has to offer. So, pack your rigs and head to Wyoming where the Ice Cream is as creamy and dreamy as the Dolomite!!

Internet!

2008-08-23T10:20:00.002-06:00

The Golden half of P&C has FINALLY broke down and purchased our very own internet connection. Be on the lookout for a flurry of posts! In fact, coming within the next couple days, the Photo Me Contest is finally resolved! Ten Sleep Canyon Crag Exposure, and much more.

P&C cooking school: staples

2008-08-21T12:17:00.014-06:00

Now I realize that Bronco just dropped some serious health knowledge on you all recently with his 3-tein diet plan. While his nutritional knowledge is only rivaled innovators such as Dr. Atkins and Dr. SouthBeachDiet, I feel the need to expand a little on what a daily diet should look like. I just went to the grocery store and picked out a few of the things that have kept me strong and cranking. Feast your eyes (and empty stomachs) on Wig's super secret recipe and grocery list!

Well first I suppose you need to know what to get once you get to the store. Focus on getting the manliest of staples. Bread, cheese, hotdogs, chips and beer. I also got a few extras and by extras I mean two boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (the one and the only blue box). Now as you can see from the photo I bought two different boxes--spirals and white cheddar. The spirals are for me. I think all macaroni tastes better when it's not just simple elbows of pasta. I bought the white cheddar box in case I have a hot date and need to cook something fancy. Since I'm just living on couches at friends houses now I thought this would be safe since everyone has water, milk and butter.

Now, onto the super secret.

STEP ONE: Buy this shit at the grocery store.

As you can see these are a part of the staples I told you to buy earlier. Now I know there are higher priced meats and cheeses out there, this guarantees a svelte figure for an already svelte wallet. These three things cost me $4.50. I sang and air guitared the Free-bird solo for four minutes on the corner and was ready to buy lunch (post on busking to come at later date). Anyway, get these.

STEP TWO: Put this shit together.

We aren't even done and it already looks delicious! This is simple, but I'll spell it out since lately I've been needing to do that. Put a piece of bread down first. Place a hot dog on the piece of bread. Put a slice of cheese on top of the hot dog. Limit will sometimes put the cheese underneath the hot dog but I told him that was unAmerican. He didn't argue with me.

STEP THREE: Put this shit in the microwave, and pull this shit out of the microwave.

Put the medley of deliciousness into the microwave and turn it on for 30 seconds. More and it will be too hot. Less and the hot dog won't be cooked. Trust me because when you pull it out it shouldn't look too much different than it did when you put it in. That's because we are using high quality mass produced consumer goods here. That's how to tell if it's good. Just trust me.

STEP FOUR: Add this other shit to it.

I added chips and beer to the mix. That's because I like chips, and I also like beer. You'll see that there is a PBR on that napkin (also don't buy plates--plates are for weak people). I buy PBR because it's the cheapest six-pack at the store. There was one six-pack that was a dollar cheaper (some Old Mil). I bought it once and drank six of them and wondered why I wasn't yelling for no reason. I looked at the can I was holding and found out it was non-alcoholic beer. I now stick to what I know.

I hope this little lesson in the culinary arts sticks with each and every one of you. I started Bronco on this diet and he top rope his first 5.7+ last week. Just think of the jumps in performance you can make! Next time on P&C cooking school Limit will teach you his famous camping burrito recipe and other time honored Ramen noodle tricks.

Drunk!

2008-08-17T10:39:00.009-06:00

Sober-->Drunk

definitely click below to check out the rest.

Cute Climber Girl of the Week: Laura Griffiths

2008-08-14T15:55:00.017-06:00

Alright everyone! Cute Climber Girl of the Week is BACK!!! Get psyched for la femmes that la crush! First up for the reunion tour is a special new friend to P&C who I spotted on complainingfrommycomfyarm- chair.com. After a month waiting for her response I found out she's the only girl that can keep D. Woods' attention and she warned me that if I made her look like an idiot she'd send him to crimp me to death. I think I believe her. Anyway, click through for interview and more photos!

Name: Laura Jade Griffiths
Age: 19
Current location: Seems to be ever changing, currently, the basement of Daniel’s soon to be Los Angeles then Palo Alto
Hometown: Born in London, England, but I’ve lived in 18 houses in 19 years so it gets a bit confusing!

What’s your favorite cheese?
Sharp cheddar cheese (from Costco!!!)
Wow, simple.
...and cheap but sooo good.
What were you doing in South Africa so recently?
Climbing all the boulders, playing with baboons and hiding from snakes. actually reverse that order
How long were you there?
Seven weeks. Well, five weeks there loving life and two drowning in rain and sulking.
There could be worse places to be rained on I suppose.
No its the worst! It is without a doubt the best bouldering in the world so sitting there in the rain is like being in a candy store on a diet!
Bummer! So you're a boulderer then. Don't do the routes too much?
I started out route climbing once upon a time, did all the junior comps then discovered how much easier bouldering was, and my lazy side took over! Plus lead climbing outside terrifies me! I know that’s not cool to say or whatever, but it does. It’s weird because I like highballs and went bungee jumping, but something about not knowing how far you fall freaks me out.
So Longmont...Woods family’s basement...heading up to the park much?
Yeah I love the park. I’ve spent some time there for the last three summers
Any big sends out there recently?
I’m keeping the sends on the DL right now. When I do and document something that defies any skepticism I may tell people, but for right now I think people get too critical and competitive. It’s more fun to just climb for me and the people closest to me and not risk other people taking away from my happiness with any negativity...yeah! Is Daniel really a cool dude or is there something undeniably sweet and mushy gushy he's done for you recently we can all bring up when we see him next?
Haha Daniel is amazing. Hmm…Yesterday on the hike up to Evans he picked all the different flowers on the hike and when we got to the Dali Wall he made me a bouquet. And he makes me breakfast in bed!
Breakfast in bed?! You must be a good girlfriend.
The best. He still hasn’t given me his super powers, though. I’m holding out for those.
Let me know when you get them and then teach me how. What else do you do aside from climb?
I surf, dance, take photos and try to live in denial about the fact I start school again in September! Oh, and I make sure Daniel doesn’t get lost or lose things.
School! What are you majoring in?
Probably international relations geared towards photojournalism, but in my mind I’m hoping I get do that by taking classes in underwater basket weaving or finger painting 101!
Have you been watching the Olympics?
Yeah we have been watching every night when get back from climbing.
What has been your favorite thing to watch so far?
Daniel and I like to watch the gymnastics. He just likes it when they fall though! the slow motion replay like when that guy slipped of the rings last night. I like to watch the girls gymnastics, they are so teeny tiny and so strong! I could never do that. Have you read that book little girls in pretty boxes? They start training at age 3 or 4. I need rest days and junk food!
Who is the most inspiring female climber you know?
Robyn Erbesfield by far. Also Andrea Szekely. Robyn is so mentally strong and she is still the most internationally successful female American climber,but from climbing with her when I was younger you see that although she is obviously really physically strong she has pushed herself even further through mental strength and confidence. And Andrea is s good friend of mine, she is so dedicated, and somehow manages to balance so many things and excel in them all.
What was the last good book you read?
The Kite Runner. Someone brought it to South Africa.
I’ve heard that’s a good one.
But it’s terrible, since I’ve been out of school this last year I have been reading so much trashy chick lit. This was the exception recently. Yeah, it’s amazing
Any last words?
Live in the moment and go to the Rocklands! Oh and I want to tell the best joke ever, though it is super old. Why was six afraid of seven?
…
Because 7 8 9!

Lots of these pictures are by Susanica Tam. You should really pay her a visit. She's totally kick ass.

Seurat!

2008-08-13T09:51:00.018-06:00

"Seurat" is a big beautiful seam on a boulder hidden in the alpine meadows of Mt. Evans, Colorado. It's also my arch nemesis. From the first moment I saw Seurat, I wanted to climb it. But my dreams were crushed when I simultaneously pulled on and and face planted on the slab. Repeatedly. My foot kept popping. So, since I hate climbing this problem but love looking at it, I figured it would make the perfect little step by step with Alex Puccio—one of the coolest climbing chicas around. (She also just snagged first at the comp in SLC this past weekend.) Check out the other photos of Alex finessing this aesthetically awkward Mt. Evans classic after the jump. Cheers!

Joe Kinder and Sebastian Hatt

2008-08-13T08:54:00.002-06:00

Nelson sent us a video last week and I have no idea why it hasn't been posted yet. Anyway click more to watch it. It's excellent.
Joe kinder on Mr hatt the best climber ever from Nelson Carayannis on Vimeo.

A few photos

2008-08-13T07:33:00.005-06:00

Amanda Berezowski is a P&C staple. We like her. She was our first Cute Climbing Girl of the Week (which I assure you all has not gone anywhere, but I only know so many cute girls so really you all need to be hitting me up with ideas. Email to pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com). Anyway, she sent me a couple buildering pictures last week and I wanted to post them. Just a little eye candy for you after the jump.

XXIX Olympiad

2008-08-11T19:37:00.006-06:00

Oh the Olympics. They are on and they make me feel good. I like watching Michael Phelps kick ass. We are all amazed because he's breaking world records and winning gold medals at age 23, but don't forget that those world records are likely his and he probably did them in the last Olympics (maybe) which was four years ago. I'm psyched to watch Misty May play volleyball in the sand and Logan Tom indoors (I'm just a man). Hell, I even enjoyed watching Dalhausser and Rogers ('cept when they lost to Latvia (who the fuck is Latvia?)). I really liked seeing our gymnasts do some good even though everyone seems to be hurt on both the dudes and girls teams. I watched syncronized diving when we didn't place and women's fencing when we swept the podium (fencing is awwwkward). Basically I like America. I think we are pretty cool.

I confessed to a friend the other day that a new Budweiser commercial got me a little choked up. There are all these good 'ol 'Murkan people doing good 'ol Merican working class things. Like drinking beer and farming. Then it breaks into some fancy stuff and I just thought man, I like America, and I like freedom bomb Budweisers! My friend gently reminded me that Budweiser just got bought by Belgium beer giant InBev, but whatever. I didn't much care. I realized every man has his price. Our men's sand volleyball team members are both wearing Oakley frames in each of their matches. Oakley frames that don't have lenses in them... which is about the only thing the terrible announcers can focus on it seems in their games. This year's Olympics are being held in the most elaborate collection of stadiums and arenas (read expensive) had the most elaborate opening ceremonies (also read expensive) and probably has some of the richer young people in the world that do nothing swim, run, play basketball (Go Redeem Team 2008), or play beach volleyball etc. This to me is awesome. These are my heroes. Not because they are all younger than me and already accomplished much more than me , but because people like Michael Phelps figured out how to do nothing but eat, sleep, play videogames, and occasionally break a world record swimming a few lengths of a pool. This is what I'm looking to do (except not swimming). As much as I'd like for P&C here to be paying the bills, it's most definitely not. And neither is climbing for that matter, which mostly may be due to the fact that I'm an average climber at best on the grand scale of things. Not that I expect any of that to pay me any money. I'm just sayin'.

Actually, I just reread what I just wrote and I have no idea where I'm going with this post. I think I just wanted to write about the Olympics in Red China. Also I may or may not be drunk at this very moment. Happy Olympics everyone.

Peter Mortimer: The Interview

2008-08-08T21:02:00.011-06:00

You've seen Peter Mortimer's films. I assure you that you liked them. I know because they were great films. Well he's about to drop another one for us. It's called Sharp End. I sat down at watched the trailer a few nights ago and I thought SHIT. This is going to be awesome. Some completely legit shredding of the gnargnar.

Anyway I got to sit down and chat with Pete about the new film, his love of scary shit and whatever other nonsense I could think to ask him. Interview, tons of pictures and Sharp End movie trailer after the jump.

Peter Mortimer
All photos by Caroline Treadway (C-Note)

Tell me a little about Sharp End your newest little project.
We started with the concept of tying into the sharp end – going for it, putting yourself in the situation where you are laying it on the line for the fleeting moment of glory. But really what we're interested in is people doing dangerous shit for basically no reward except your own ego and if you do it in front of a girl maybe getting laid. So the film is an investigation of the people who do the craziest, stupidest most badass shit in the climbing world. We have some insane footage. It covers everything from hard trad to headpoints to highball boulders to alpine style first ascents to free soloing to freebase, etc. It’s definitely our most rambunctious film yet.
That sounds fucking excellent!
I think its gonna be badass, we've captures some crazy stupid shit.
I can't imagine. Do you get nervous filming stuff like that? I mean I remember watching Return to Sender and seeing Renan solo Lighting Bolt Cracks does that not just make you squirm.
Shooting soloing is fully hairball, and aside from the fact that I am completely drawn to it I wouldn’t do it. I’m not drawn to it as a climber, I mean, I am but I solo like 5.7 on a good day. For Sharp End we shot Steph Davis soloing on the Diamond and soloing and base-jumping off of Castleton. She is climbing solid 5.10 and 11 cracks, just totally locked in.
Right, I remember hearing about this a while ago Bronco went up with Steph to the Diamond and then he found out like 2 weeks later she had soloed it with you and he was like well fuck me sideways, I was used for reconnaissance.
Used and abused.
I also remember hearing a little Eldo filming happening.
Yeah we've been shooting a bunch of the new stuff in Eldo. That’s where I learned to climb and it’s still my favorite placed to punt around so I try to shoot there as much as possible. There’s been some good energy on a few of the hard headpoints and trad lines this year.
I've heard rumors. How did you come upon the sharp end theme, do you conceptualize before hand get some ideas together or just start filming whatever is going on and go with it? I mean is headpointing hot right now or is doing scary shit going to be hot when you finish this film?
This one is conceptualized. We brainstormed lots of ideas, etc, but then we were like what are we really interested in? What is the coolest shit to watch? Well, it’s the dangerous stuff, the stuff that really means something when you do it. Stuff that’s not just an athletic accomplishment, but that rocks your entire soul and forced you to look at why you do this shit. I mean that’s really what climbing is about right?
Absolutely. So did everyone make it out alive and (mostly) unscathed from this last one? Are there any good horror stories?
Alive? Yes. Unscathed. No. Lots of falls, bruises, crushed egos. We did a trip to the Czech Republic with some of the most badass trad climbers in the world, and there you have to place knots and you can't use chalk and it was wonderful to watch these titans cry like little babies. They also did some rad sending, but they did their fair share of crying, whining and excuse making.
Segal a part of that crew? I feel like he just mentioned that.
Peter Mortimer: Yeah, Segal was there. He was awesome to have on the trip because he –well, I think he admits it – got his ass kicked there a bit (he also sent some rad climbs), but he really looked at himself and said damn I have a lot to learn and I want to master runout off widths and on sighting with no chalk and no idea where I'm going. He had a great attitude that was really inspiring. Keep in mind Segal did the first ascent of what I believe is one of the hardest natural lines in the world [Iron Monkey], which is still unrepeated. Matt Wilder was just working on it and he didn’t send and he’s been sending everything. Sonnie came through and ran up everything but didn’t send it. It’s the real deal. I did watch Daniel Woods top rope on it and he could do the move pretty quickly but he wasn’t into the gear side of it
What's the most inspiring climbing you've filmed or been apart of filming?
Peter Mortimer: Hmm that’s a tough one let me think for a second. It’s always the last thing I’ve been doing. Watching Chris DWS in Mallorca was amazing. He was so in his element there. Is that the most inspiring? I don’t know...
Speaking of Chris, what was harder, hanging off the side of a cliff for countless hours while he lobbed off the hardest DWS in the world or y our hardest gear redpoint?
My hardest gear redpoint for sure. Shooting is easy. It’s fun. It’s all about just being in position and capturing these amazing feats. Redpointing hard gear routes is fucking tough.
Agreed. Who's been the most pleasant climber to work with?
Honestly everyone is cool to work with. I've become really good friends with a lot of the climbers through filming them. I feel really lucky that way. People stay at our place when they come through. They drop by the office to look at footage. I feel like I am part of a cool community and I feel really lucky like that. My girlfriend and parents are always like, god you have so many cool friends and I say yeah it’s because I film climbers. I love the Yosemite Monkeys and I love the Colorado trad guys. Renan Ozturk is probably the coolest most inspiring person you could meet.
How much of the time are you on the road?
Comes and goes. We did two months in Europe this spring then back here editing since June. I'm flying to the Eiger on Wednesday for the final shot of Sharp End, but otherwise around a bit these days.
So when does Sharp End premier? Reel Rock Tour?
September 10th is the world premier in Boulder, but there are actually a couple showings before that in Vancouver and Squamish. Then we are doing like 100 shows around the world this year.
That is killer.
Yeah, we are psyched.
Is there anything else you'd like P&C's readers to know?
Yes. But it'll have to wait for the next round. I still have lots of spraying to do.

TRAILER: I had trouble loading the video click here for the trailer on Pete's site

Newbie: Gym Session

2008-08-07T11:03:00.002-06:00

whiskey Wednesday

2008-08-06T19:20:00.007-06:00

Well, I am doing this from my phone, so it's going to be short. This week's honors are bestowed on the boys who slept on our couch and floor most of the summer. Since we didn't have interns this summer these two were about as close as itcame. Cheers to Les and Kevin, our boys from the durty durty! We are currently headed to the real Whiskey Wednesday to send these lads off in P&C style! Maybe some updates through the night. This could get ugly!

Rifle Clean Up

2008-08-03T11:20:00.003-06:00

Lovers of all things Choss and Rifley, ATTENTION! The Rifle Crag Clean Up is coming up soon. BE THERE! BBQ, Avery Beer, Trash, and all your friends are doing it. Check it in the MORE section below. This Climbing Cover of Bobbi Bensmen shows her angst over the trash in Rifle. Don't disappoint her!The Rifle Crag Clean up is Saturday September 6, 2008. That's next Month! Plan on Being there.

Clean-Up Projects Include:
All day trash Clean-Up, Bolt and fixed biner replace-ment, with gear generously donated by the Anchor Re-placement Initiative; Project Wall trailbuilding, Nappy Dugout trailbuilding; Bridge Repair;

BBQ Details:
At the end of the day there will be a BBQ in the Community House, 3 kegs of Avery Beer; Tons of food; Raffle; All the drunken beta you never wanted to hear; $5 gets you food, beer, and raffle tickets; Proceeds go towards equipping new routes in the canyon.

3-tein Dieting

2008-08-03T08:33:00.000-06:00

I first encountered the 3-tein while I slaved away researching for some paper in Law School. This power diet proved to supernaturally turn my usually weak attention span into an all day energized research superpower. Typically, I studied and worked in thirty minute segments. Thirty Minutes focused, thirty minutes playing, thirty minutes focused, thirty minutes eating, and so on. To get to the bottom of this new found focus I retraced my steps that morning. I came up with this...The Triple-tein! 1. Caffine, load yourself down with that favorite jitter beverage. 2. Protein, we all know that copious amounts of Whey, Soy, Red Meat and Nuts are what keeps our bulging muscles coming back for more. So, go crazy! Steaks, Cashews, Monster Protein smoothies, whatever gets large amounts of this second tein in your system. 3. Nicotine, yes folks, you thought it was a health hazard, but in fact, according to THIS man (one of our heros) and THIS man (a one time record holder for oldest person in the world) cigs are bueno. Employing these white puffy treats to the diet was the capstone with which the 3-tein was born.

How does this diet translate to climbing? It took me a while to work it out, but I think years of training on the 3-tein has lead me to believe it is the best thing since sliced bread, which coincidentally isn't 3-tein sanctioned.

It started with a trip to Hueco one spring. The trial period proved somewhat successful once I walked up to my supposed project and hiked it!!! Now you know the end let's Tarantino it and go back, let's figure it out.

Coming from Oklahoma, we had driven straight through the night in a horrifying ice storm which means 1) lots of coffee to stay awake and 2) lots of cigarettes to keep our minds preoccupied from sliding off the road resulting in a fiery crash. As the sun started to peek its head from behind us we decided to stop at a roadside diner outside El Paso. I hydrated my quenching muscles with a massive cheese and sausage omelet, hence, the protein. As these three glorious nutrients weaseled their way into my blood stream I suddenly wasn't sleep deprived, I was psyched! You see not everyone I was with combined these three. It's like those eery pre-cog charcters in that Minority Report movie or Captain Planet. When one of the three is absent, the 3-tein is null and void of it's magical powers.

We enter the park, I saddle up to Center El Murray (R.I.P.), I crush, the Legend of the 3-tein is birthed from the boulders of North Mountain.

Fast Forward several years later, the commencment of the greatest and most riduculous Climbing competition debuts at Horseshoe Canyon Ranch in the hills surrounding Jasper Arkansas. 24 Hours of Horseshoe Hell is a test of Brawn, Brains, Sanity, and Stamina, the ultimate proving ground from the 3-tein. My Partner, you know him, you love him, The Wig. He's heard of the theory, he's in on testing it. Here's the break down...

3 Hours till Hell: We enter the Ozark Cafe where coffee flows like wine and we dine on Eggs, Bacon, Cheese, and Butter. Pre and Post Breakfast Smokes. As a side note, we were playing Justin Timberlake and I thought about making the diet the Quad-tein, Nicotine, Caffine, Protein, and Justine, but that didn't quite have as nice a ring to it.

2 Hours till Hell: Pre-comp grocery shopping. Our cart includes 1 6-pack snickers bars, 1 6-pack Chocolate Slim-Fast shakes, and 2 packs of Camel Filters. Rocket Fuel for the body!

1 Hour till Hell: Our sponsor, Red Bull, shows up with hundreds of little silver and blue bullet cans. We pound a few.

Hell begins: We Crush! We Stay up all 24 hours of the comp! We complete 105 routes between the two of us! We drink no less than 12 Red Bulls a piece! We drink all the Slim Fast! We smoke ALL the Camels plus some auxillary cigs from friends! The 3-tein is successful! Our friends concur the diet a key to our success especially since we didn't train a lick for the Hell.

To Conclude, take the 3-tein, enjoy the 3-tein, but only use it for good and not evil.

Happy Dieting,

Bronco

A Day in the Park—RMNP

2008-07-28T09:36:00.014-06:00

Lily Lake

Yesterday was my first trip to Rocky Mountain National Park this season and I had the privilege of bouldering with John Cardwell and Carlo Traversi. The temps were a little warm for hard sends and the mosquitos were starving, but it was gorgeous. So, I decided to soak it all in—with my camera.

John Cardwell explains what the hell is on his back to fellow hikers

There's no place like the park, there's no place like the park...

John Cardwell trying Nothing but Sunshine

Chad Greedy lapping Handicapps

Carlo Traversi with the moves

Lake Haiyaha

Also, I'd like to give the Strength and Honor Award to Andre Di Felice for doing Aslan and Aslan into The Marble—nice work!

there isn't anymore. you don't have to click this.

IMPORTANT

2008-07-23T14:48:00.004-06:00

Mike Hankins, an Oklahoma local, fell soloing in Eldo. He's in ICU in Denver. Thoughts, prayers, all that would be great.

News story about it.

Mountain project thread.

Mike is a kick ass guy so please support him.

there is not actually more.

Photo Me!

2008-07-23T14:38:00.003-06:00

Thanks to everyone who sent in photos for our little Photo Me contest sponsored by F-Stop. We had some great entries, but alas we can only have 3 winners. So stay tuned, we have picked the lucky 3 and will be posting the pics soon. For now, the Photo Me contest has halted. Thanks again to everyone who sent us stuff.

This was my own entry, but i disqualified it for two reasons. One, its really gay. Two, it would have won since I put the contest on.

Hitchin' Up

2008-07-23T10:16:00.005-06:00

I was poking around Facebook the other day and in those annoying little mini-feed was the most awesome picture I've ever seen in my entire life. I inspected a little further and discovered that Matt Bosley and teammate Charlotte Jouett got hitched! And look how badass she is! Climbing in a wedding dress? Awesome.

Anyway a big congratulations to two really excellent people and very talented climbers.

Oh and check out the photog that took the picture:
John Bamber with Bamber Photography
Oh and there's not actually more, but we can't get rid of that.

Whiskey Wednesday

2008-07-23T08:09:00.004-06:00

Merry Wednesday and Happy Mid-Week. Last night we celebrated the birth of Cassidy Hill in the People's Republic, by celebrate I mean we indulged in libations, many libations. So, I guess I jump started my Whiskey Wednesday festivities. My night ended by hugging Cass no less than 10 times and telling him "I love you man." Guess I get emotional when I drink. Anyhoo, on to hump-day heros...This Wednesday we acknowledge a powerful force in sport climbing. If you don't recognize the name Patxi, then emerge from your Platonic cave. This Basque national treasure has been exploding this year. World Cup Champion this, Mr. 5.15a that, I can onsight 5.14c! Could this little Basque boy be the greatest sport climber of all time? Time is telling, what's next for Mr. Patxi 9b? We shall see.

Anatomy of a Failure.

2008-07-22T17:47:00.002-06:00

According to me, slab climbing means that my toes get pumped before my forearms. According to Rifle climbers, slab means that one's feet are never above ones head. According to Rifle locals, Beer Run is a slab route. To me, It's steep as shit-it overhangs probably 20 feet in 100. Regardless, Beer Run is a beautiful explosive confluence of crimpy, slopey, pumpy, hightstepping, flagging, backstepping circus trick awesomeness.

Beer Run is rated 13a, which means it will probably take me in the neighborhood of 15 solid tries, lots of soul searching, the perfect playlist and temps less than 75 degrees, humidity less than 12%, a rising barometric pressure of 34mm of mercury, and a perfect alignment of the stars. I have been on beer run MAYBE 4 solid times. I tried it last weekend at 95 degrees, 85% humidity, with a dropping barometric pressure and underneath stars that we about as out of alignment as a redneck's teeth. Basically, I had a better chance of getting rich in Vegas than of sending.

My thoughts:

Lacing up my shoes:
I'm awesome. I'm going to piss all over this route. Literally. I'll hang out in the crux, whip it out and bleed the lizard. That's how impervious I am to getting pumped. The cares of lactic acid are for Whole Foods eating douchbags, not me!!

Tying in: I am a baddass. Fuck humidity. Barometric what??

Bolt one: I'm smooth, I'm in control, I'm sending.

Bolt three: What the fuck is this sensation in my forearms???? Whatever. I am the shit!

Bolt four: Fuck the pump! I'm Awesome! I can crimp on a credit card!

Bolt five: (the bolt is at my knees) Why the fuck is the rope behind my leg? Why is this extdendo draw wrapping itself around my toes? Am I in a spiderweb?

“TAKE! TAKE! FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS, ZEUS AND ALL THAT HAS EVER BEEN HELD HOLY, TAKE GOD DAMN IT!”

McDonald's did this to me! I'm eating organic food from now on.

Hanging on bolt Five: I am a pussy. Why didn't I crimp harder?!? I wasn't even pumped. I'm a douchestick.

At the bar, four hours and six beers later: I could send beer run right now! Why did I think those holds we slick? They really have pretty good texture. Next time, I'll just put foot next to my ear, drop knee like I'm French, lock off on that sloper that's shiny enough to put on eyeshadow in front off, figure four off that mono pocket, and employ the dark arts to magically Zen myself to the chains!

I am awesome!

new format

2008-07-22T11:26:00.003-06:00

Yo everyone,

You're gonna have to deal with our new jump links. We are trying them out because they are snazzy. You'll see a little teaser, and then a [MORE!] link. Click that link to read the rest of the post. This will let you skip the shit you don't want to read more easily. Now you don't have to scroll through long posts of dribble you can't be bothered with. so it looks like this

And here is the rest of it.

Newbie

2008-07-22T11:18:00.006-06:00

Here's John P's latest Newbie comic. The rest after the jump!

Shit you should see

2008-07-21T19:51:00.005-06:00

Here's a recap of some recent stuff you need to know about.

[Photo: Outside.away.com]

Lisa Rands is crushing is South Africa [rockclimbing.com]

Patxi Usobiaga onsighted and almost onsighted some really REALLY nasty routes [Climbing.com]

Climbers are dying and for real it's a big bummer [Rock-and-Ice]

Bachar-Yerian without bolts! [ukclimbing.com]

Eldo climbers! Fixed gear apps are due. [mountainproject.com]

Friday Fight Night

2008-07-20T07:22:00.004-06:00

I was inspired by Bronco's endorsement strategy for the president. Of course! Who would win in a fight? That's perfect! I thought maybe we should have a different sort of fight every week. Mine is a little more twisted it's less who wins in a fight and more who wins the most categories. To start I'm bringing two heavyweights to the ring to duke it out and determine who finally is the baddest ass of them all.

DEAN POTTER VS. TOMMY CALDWELL

FINGER COUNT

Dean's 10 banana sized fingers v. Tommy's 9.5
Edge: Dean

FINGER USAGE
Dean climbs harder than most humans using 10 banana sized fingers v. Tommy climbs harder than most humans using 9.5
Edge: Tommy

BOULDERING HIGH BALLS
Dean's scary solos of boulders that are too tall to be considered boulders v. ...wait. Tommy and bouldering?
Edge: Dean

WOMEN
Steph Davis v. Beth Rodwell
Edge: both winners. You can't make me pick between those.

BIG WALLS
Tommy's Nose/Freerider ( 60+ pitches up to 5.14b) one day ascent v. Listen Dean, I'm sorry, but you lose the big wall category.
Edge: Tommy

MORE LIKELY TO GET INTO A CLUB
This v. This
Edge: Probably neither but we'll go with Dean.

DEATH WISH/INSANITY FACTOR
Well, Dean's got this, this, this, and this v. Tommy's got...this
Edge: Dean

Alright. Well by my count that's Dean 5, Tommy 3.
I'm certain there are more categories but frankly I'm tired of thinking about these two dudes. Add your own categories and answers in the comments.

The Matt Segal Interview

2008-07-11T17:18:00.015-06:00

Matt Segal made climbing history with his first free ascent of Iron Monkey, Eldo's hardest traditional route to date. Lately, Matt's been climbing up a storm, bringing fresh ambition to the trad world, plus a little attitude. We met up for a morning interview at the Trident, Boulder's favorite Buddhist-owned cafe/office. The next day he sent his project up at Independence Pass near Aspen. What's next? Only at P&C, this Miami compkid turned stonemonkey tradster comes clean about ethics, the Czech and his love life.

C-note: Congrats on sending your project. What's it like?

Matt: It's pretty rad. It's a really varied roof crack that's got slopers, finger locks, fist jams, underclings, toe jams. And it's hard, which I like. The crux is the endurance factor and placing gear. I'd say it's 14 minus.

C-note: What are you gonna call it?

Matt: It was an old aid line, The Orangutang Roof, so for now, Orangutang...aka ADOO-ZEE.

C-note: What's next?

Matt: I'm leaving in a couple days to meet up with Ethan Pringle, teachin' homey how to trad climb! Eric Decaria taugh me how to trad climb, in his own unique way of teaching and not teaching. Now Ethan and I are gonna try The Path.

C-note: The Path?

Matt: Sonnie Trotter's route. He's like the Canadian poster boy for climbing.

C-note: Do you guys get along?

Matt: Yeah, we do for sure. We were wasted at like one in the afternoon the other day—me, him and Will Stanhope were bouldering and shit, soloing the buildings. It was like a reunion. Sonnie and I climb a bunch together.

C-note: I like Canadians.

Matt: I like Canada. Then I'm going to England with Kevin Jorgeson and Alex Honold. It's like Team America goes to England. Those two kids are really talented climbers. Alex freesoloes 5.12 plus big walls and Kevin boulders V14. It's like, who, those guys are bitchin'.

C-note: You've recently returned from the Czech Republic—it's pretty rugged there, no?

Matt: The Czech was one of the more different cragging experiences I've ever had. The most humbling but also odd. We just jumped into a climbing culture that entailed a lot of drinking and not a lot of climbing. We all wondered what came first, the drinking or the scary climbing.

C-note: Why so scary?

Matt: No metal cams or nuts are allowed, so you tie knots in ropes and put them in cracks.

C-note: Sketchy.

Matt: We didn't use chalk either. You're not allowed to use chalk on the rock.

C-note: Why?

Matt: The no chalk thing is an aesthetic thing. People think it's abrasive to the eye. The no metal gear thing, I'm calling bullshit, they say the rock is too soft. I'm sure it has something to do with that, maybe Communism, too.

C-note: How's that mesh with your sense of ethics?

Matt: It kinda flipped 'em all around. I mean the way old school ethic is to climb barefoot.

C-note: Damn hippies...

Matt: I look at climbing ethics more on a spectrum now. On one side you have barefoot, solo, ropeless and chalkless. On the other you have over-bolted, stealth rubber knee pad wearin', you know, the full on ordeal.

C-note: Is it boring to talk about ethics?

Matt: It's hard to talk about 'cuz it's a gray area. The bottom line is how you walk up to a wall and climb it. I'm obviously not gonna manufacture any holds. But I still wanna climb hard. There are certain golden rules I follow. Every route deserves its own stylistic, ethical approach.

C-note: If you could chop the bolts on any climb, which would it be?

Matt: A lot of climbs in Boulder deserve chopping: China Doll, Deadline. I don't think there should be bolts on either of those routes.

C-note: Do you ever just climb and forget about the ethics of it all?

Matt: Yeah, it's called bouldering. Seriously, bouldering is really pure. You can just go climbing.

C-note: I LIIIIIIKE! What's it like to be a professional climber—you're living the dream!

Matt: Ever since I started climbing when I was 14, I wanted to be a pro climber. Now that I've been given the opportunity to do it, it's pretty sick. Obviously, my sponsors make it happen and friends hook it up along the way. But it has its ups and downs. The ups are exceptional but the downs are like 'don't know if I can make it to tomorrow' kinda downs.

C-note: I thought it was normal to feel like that...

Matt: For me, it's the ungroundedness of the lifestyle. I've always had something grounding me, whether it was school, a girlfriend, and not having that can be really hard. But being a pro climber doesn't mean I have to be on the road constantly. It's doing what inspires me and I can do that anywhere there's good climbing! I've just been keeping myself busy on the road. Sometimes that's the easiest way to deal—see ya I'm out!

C-note: Do you think climbing is selfish?

Matt: Climbing can be extremely selfish, being that it's purely motivated by your own ego in a lot of ways. We're selfish as climbers. We were just talking to a woman here who dated a climber and, you know, all climbers just wanna go climbing. I was in a relationship with a climber and it was like you go to your climbing area and I go to mine.

C-note: Do you think it works with climbers and non-climbers?

Matt: I don't know, it's a catch-22. It doesn't really work with non-climbers. It's not like, oh, she doesn't climb, she's not cool. It's more like, I'm gonna travel to go climbing and you're not. If you're a non-climber, what are gonna do at climbing areas? Fuck bitches, climb rocks. I don't think you can quote that, that's bad.

C-note: No, we can definitely quote you.

Matt: A lot of climbing couples make it work, like Tommy and Beth.

C-note: Puke.

Matt: I love those guys but they are like Team America at its finest. They own a house in Estes, a house in Yosemite, they're always happy and smiley. They're not in the dark clouds like the rest of us. I'd like to believe I could find a climbing girl and have a healthy relationship. Yeah. Positive thoughts. Not getting sucked into the dark hole again.

C-note: I'm all about the dark hole right now.

Matt: Yeah, I've been good about staying out of it the past few days. Climbing helps me stay out of the dark hole. Doing nothing, seeing ex girlfriends, this sort of stuff is very black hole-esque.

C-note: This interview?

Matt: No, this is pretty playful. No black holes in the interview. Have you seen Weeds?

C-note: A couple episodes of season 1. Why?

Matt: There's a line I really like in it, "thugs don't have to say sorry." I'm over tiptoeing around people at the moment. Like right now, I'm gonna go in the Trident and not tiptoe, I'm gonna

stomp and shit, make a point.

Newbie the comic.

2008-07-11T13:45:00.010-06:00

John Proctor was kind enough to start doing a comic for us. Hope you enjoy!

Style Points

2008-07-09T17:56:00.002-06:00

Scope this video from Nelson Carayannis! I don't know Nelson, but this is Fucking Awesome! Completely our style. Enjoy.

matt lloyd from Nelson Carayannis on Vimeo.

Whiskey Wednesday

2008-07-09T16:40:00.005-06:00

This week's debacharous salute goes not to a single person, but to a single action. We've all done it, some more than others. It can be exhilarating, frustrating, mundane, and frightening. I've seen it done with grace and style, however, I've also seen it completed in the most unsightly fashion. You may know it as falling, taking a digger, or whipping.

I could tell you some lame story from my own vault of whipping history, but I choose to give you a brief story of whiptastic proportions.

The crag: Rock of Ages. The climbers: Arnold Braker/Maury Birdwell.

The boys objective for a fine July day was to inspect a route called The Wasp (5.13a Traditional). To make a long story short, I will tell you that the lad's warm-up for the day set the tone that would crescendo into digger history, at least for one of them. Let's just say that this warm-up involved a Factor 1.8 fall where climber ended up 15 below belayer. Yikes!

Feeling strong? the boys decided to test their traditional prowess on an even harder route! For the sake of saving time, I will let our Whippy Wednesday hero explain in his own words.

I led through to bottom section with little trouble, and took a while to figure out the crux - which entailed multiple 25 foot falls onto a green alien cam. No biggee. I lowered off, and after a good rest got through the crux. As I’d anticipated, there was a great rest after the crux; unfortunately, the bomber gear placements I’d thought would accompany this stance were missing. I managed to blindly shove a .5 camalot into a hole at my feet. Then a few more strenuous moves and I placed a black alien (the smallest they make) and took a quick hang. As I was pulling it off my rack I dropped my extra green alien, with the sickening feeling I would be needing it soon. I was right, as about ten feet later the only placement I could find was a perfect green alien slot - I forced a yellow alien partways in, knowing it was in no way sound.

At this point my only viable was to push on and get to the anchors (or the fixed pin five feet below them). I made it to the pin, barely, which was in the middle of another crux. As my left hand popped off I thought to myself, “Well, I was wondering if the last cam was any good.” It was not. Here’s a summary of my thought process:

Falling, rope starts to come taught on yellow alien, it pops out.

“Oh well, I was expecting that.”

Falling more, rope begins to tighten on black alien, it pops.

“Well crap, I thought that was good.”

Rope comes to on the .5 camalot, and it also pulls out.

“Sonofabitch!”

Nonetheless, that little green guy I’d been lobbing on before held fast, arresting me about 20 feet from the ground, mostly unharmed: I scraped up my arm a bit, got some rope burn, and tweaked my ankle. Feeling good now and ready to get back up there.
Mister Birdwell has since recovered from his 60+ foot lead fall on the now infamous green alien and is close to sending.

On another note, I just got word that Cassidy Hill DID send the Wasp today! Congrats Cass and Cheers to all who have and will Whip!

New York Climbs

2008-07-09T07:27:00.004-06:00

For the third time in the last month or so the new New York Times building was scaled. Last night some ridiculous protester climbed up to the fifth floor and put up a really insignificant little banner. He then climbed higher and just hung out for a while calling one of the daily newspapers to tell them stuff. Then he got arrested. I guess this is what you get when you design a building like a ladder which this lady Catherine Mathis must have failed to notice. Perhaps she's blind.

"We are trying to ascertain how he got up the building," said New York Times spokeswoman Catherine Mathis.

Well Catherine I think it's obvious.
They should put me on CSI.

Last month Alain Robert climbed the whole building (52 stories) as a demonstration for the environment. A copy-cat climber pulled himself to the top that same day which I hear really pissed Alain off. I dunno about all this. The route to the top is probably a 5.3 MAYBE and you get a rest every so often because you can climb into the window sills.

Silliness. Awesome silliness, but silliness.

Climber Dies In Mystery Crash on I-7o

2008-07-07T12:53:00.001-06:00

In a tragic accident yesterday, climber Jeffrey Smith was killed in a mysterious crash while traveling on I-70 near Vail pass. The crash proved troubling to authorities because there were no other cars involved and they found zero evidence of drug or alcohol impairment. Officer Simon Gulch says the mystery was finally solved when an eyewitness came forward and described a surprising scenario. Joey Stiffler says he was a few car lengths behind the Subaru when I saw the driver wilding gesticulating. “At first I thought the driver and passenger were in a heated argument. It looked like they were close to fisticuffs. But then I realized he was pantomiming beta for Simply Read. That's when I got really worried because it was obvious he was in The Zone rehearsing the route and was more concerned with his beta than with the road.” Joe says that the victim was two moves away from a vicious kneebar crux when he began honking, trying to break Smith from his daydream. “I could see it all playing out before it actually happened. The poor guy- he had the route so wired. Throwing that kneebar into the steering wheel must have been pure instinct at that point. I don't think he ever realized what happened. He was clipping the anchors when I saw the car burst into flames.”

The parents of the victim have introduced a bill into the state senate which will ban climbers from discussing beta about any route while operating a motor vehicle. Says Jeffrey's parents, “It's a shame that there aren't laws to prevent tragedies like this. I really think that the ban will make the roads safer for all of us.”

Lucille Onsight!?

2008-07-05T11:44:00.002-06:00

I don't know if offwidth climbing is pimpin or not, it's definitely not crimpin, but I couldn't let this report slide.

I typically see an OW (or offwidth for the layperson) and cringe. How and Why do people climb OWs? There are many things that I would rather do than climb OWs, the worst of which involves bells, whistles, whips, chains, yo-yos, a circus midget, my grandmother riding by on a unicycle giving me the finger, and a rubber duck. Entering into OW land is scary, at least for me. I have heavy foreign objects dangling from my harness, I move 3 inches and start breathing like I just ran 10 miles, there's always a lot of kicking and thrutching, and half the time I feel like I'm stuck. No FUN! But some people love OWs. They search out these gapping beasts with vim and vigor. Masochistic sons of bitches!

Anyway, when I saw this I was astonished and thought it desevered special attention. OW capital of the world starts with a V and ends with a woo or voo, I never know how to say it. One of the grandaddies or maybe grandmamas of offwidthing is a route called Lucille 12+. This route may have seen like 6 or 7 ascents, none by a woman and Pamela Varco walks up onsights the route! Sick! Go PAM! Keep on keeping on.

Rifle Officially Declared a Chosspile by FEMA

2008-07-05T10:04:00.002-06:00

Last week, the popular climbing area of Rifle Colorado was declared a Chosspile by FEMA director David Paulison. In a sweeping decision that will affect hundreds of climbers this weekend, Paulison declared the crag unfit for human crimping. Although the crag has been in use by the sport climbing subculture for over 20 years, sharp increases in popularity finally brought the crag onto FEMA radar. “We had heard reports expressing concern over the unstable nature of Rifle limestone” says Paulison, “but last week digital photos began filtering into our office. We saw how truly Chossy Rifle really was. We had to take action. So we closed the area. We really do care.” FEMA hopes to relocate the displaced Rifle climbers to safer and more aesthetic crags throughout Colorado. Although federal assistance is available, local 5.13 climber Dick Pertman says he's afraid to try other climbing crags because of “aggressive friction, simplistic beta and a lack of kneebars.” Over beers at the Glenwood brewpub, he opined to reporters: “I mean honestly, what the hell am I going to with all these specialized kneepads? I have over $900 worth. Somebody really should pay for this. Where am I supposed to go? Shelf fucking Road? That place is like climbing for retards. Crimp Crimp High Step Crimp. I don't know what I'm gonna do. Without kneebars, I probably can't climb 5.11. I might kill myself. That Paulison Fucker better pay for me to move to Rodellar.”

Happy 4th of July pimpers and crimpers!

2008-07-04T17:30:00.002-06:00

Here's some Fourth of July video fun, guaranteed to nurse you off the couch and back to the bars just in time for Saturday night! Check out Boulder's favorite climbing prodigy, Daniel Woods, send Holloway's historic Trice—V12, and recreate a modern testpiece Apocalypse—first V13 on Flagstaff Mountain. (Apocalypse involves climbing the UnderCling Traverse backward into Trice.) CHECK IT!

Video courtesy of Chad Greedy at Hardclimbs.com

Whiskey Wednesday is Back Baby!

2008-07-01T21:47:00.004-06:00

Wooooooo Hooooooo! We are back with some Jack Daniels or Early Times (depending on your budget) vengeance!!! It's been a while since the prestigious Wednesday debauchery award has been presented, but alas, we have returned and are psyched about this Week's hero!

Okay, so here is the situation. Most of you know that we have been Rifle bound the past 4 weekends in a row. We love Rifle and now that you know the "scene" in Rifle (thanks to A.B.) you may appreciate this scenario from the past weekend.

Friday afternoon, Arnold, Jen and I load up my rig with sleeping bags, climbing gear, dogs, Franzia, and Beer headed toward our weekend retreat, Rifle! On the way out Ms. Sauer and I begin the discussion on where we will lay our heads for the night. Two free camp sites are the topic, The Corral or The Meadow. We decide on my choice The Corral, but Jen keeps baiting me with how good the Meadow is, so I give in. As we turn off I-70 at New Castle we crack a beer and enjoy the 12 or so miles into the canyon. As we pass the familiar walls of Rifle Mountain Park and head up canyon to the free camping I get minutely psyched about camping in Aspens and cooler weather.

After a slight missed turn, we pull into The Meadow. We see one party and decide to park semi-close to their raging fire. As we step out of the truck we notice that the campfire is really bonfire and the vehicles that encompass the fire are all huge SUVs tha are blaring satellite hip-hop radio. Normally, we would be psyched, but tonight we are tired and want to get some rest for two days of climbing. If you know me, I sleep very well, anywhere, anytime, with anyone! I fall asleep, quick. Jen on the other hand is having some trouble. She decides in her hip-hop induced insomnia to politely ask our friends to turn their music down a little. She was faced with adversity, bitchy adversity at that. Evidently, this was what I refer to as a "Bachellorete Rager"! All women, all Rednecks, all Drunk!

What more can I say. So, the award goes to Jen for her actions the next morning. Like I said, I slept through the whole thing, as I am known to do. Jen however, did not. She was up and at'em around 6:30 or so. Waiting patiently for Arnold and I to rise for the morning. Her initial plan, play loud music, but she settled on honking my horn for 30 seconds or so and screaming at the top of her lungs, "GOOD MORNING!!! And then we left. Scared.

So, Jen Sauer gets Whiskey Wednesday for having the balls to stand up to Redneck Rifle Women, who probably have guns and probably know how to use them effectively.

Cheers Jen!

New River Rendezvous

2008-07-01T16:00:00.005-06:00

Your boy Wig got another little article on another website. Though it's not my best writing it's at least out there for the world to see. Oh by the way, if any of you get a chance to make it out to the NRR next year, GO. The event was amazing. I've never seen so many kegs of free beer in my whole life. for real.

See the article--->HERE

America, Fuck Yeah!

2008-06-30T16:24:00.002-06:00

In celebration of our nation's independence this week we at P&C are throwing our weight behind one presidential candidate who we feel is best suited to lead the world and convert as many foreigners to the ways of America as possible. Basically, our endorsement considerations boil down to an extended game of "Who would win in a fight". This is how it turned out...

1. Old Man v. Black Man = Black Man
2. Hawaiian Born v. Panamanian Born = Panamanian Born, Panamanians are skilled fighters based on years of canal defense. Hawaiians are just fat pansies who like to give flowers away.
3. Irish/Scots Ancestry v. Kenyan/Kansasian Ancestry = Irish/Scots, cause we all know that those Red headed, Red blooded, Stout sipping Eire people are gifted with fisticuff talent. However, Africans just kill people when they want, ever see Blood Diamond?
4. Illinois v. Arizona = Illinois, for some reason Illinois seems more thuggish than Arizona. Maybe because our family van once got broken into there or maybe because I have always associated Chicago with Al Capone. Who does Arizona have? Linda Rondstadt
5. P.O.W. v. Low Income Housing Advocate/Attorney = Come on, Six years of torture in a Vietnamese prison versus bad cups of coffee and the occasional homeless guy masturbating outside your office. Winner, P.O.W.
6. Cripple v. Smoker = Gotta go with the Smoker on this one.
7. Democrat v. Republican = Considering most Republicans carry semi-automatic weapons to the grocery store we're going with Republicans.
8. This guy v. This guy. Going with this guy.
9. Married to This v. Married to This = We like This.
10. v.

Although the results are tight, it seems that Barack Obama has won the P&C Presidential "Who Would Win in a Fight?" endorsement gauge. Therefore, after thoughtful opining sessions and meticulous question asking Pimpin and Crimpin is happy to announce that it officially endorses Barack Obama as its candidate of choice for Master and Commander of the World!

Training with Limit #2

2008-06-27T15:33:00.002-06:00

Abs. Everybody wants a ripped six pack, but most of us are working with a singularly bulging keg above our belt. For most of the population defined abs are just another vain ploy to try and get laid. And it's actually a scientifically proven fact that good abs make you more attractive to the opposite sex. But for us climbers, good abs are essential for tickling the harder grades. In case you've been hiding under a rock for the last 15 years, it's well accepted that great core strength is essential for anything but 5.9 slab. I have no no evidence, empirical or other wise for that. All I know is that Christian Griffith has abs to die for. And that mother fucker cranks. He's also probably the god father of the Pimpin and Crimpin movement, even though he doesn't know it. Even if you deny that good abs can help climb better, my justification falls back on the superficial vacuity that defines pnc. Abs make you look good. I want to look good. werd.

So how do you get them? Being a climber without a trust fund, I can't exactly afford to go buy a 2500 Maxicam ab machine. At this point, most of the Boulder crowd is on the edge of their seat, hoping with bated breath and palpitating heart that I will recommend yoga. There is an ineffable, deep seated connection between Boulder and yoga that I will never understand. It is a panacea, a cure all, a snake oil. Whatever you need, whatever ails you, rest assured, yoga will help. From migraines to infertility, there is a yoga pose that will cure you. I've tried yoga. So bite me with your trite and tired “don't knock it till you've tried it” bullshit. Yoga does fulfill requirement numero uno of the Training with Limit imperative-it makes me sore as shit. In fact, it made pretty much every muscle in my body hurt for 10 days. I could barely move. Unfortunately, It fails miserably at imperative Two-Train like a man. It's impossible to be manly while doing yoga. Why? Well, mostly because I said so. But honestly, can you picture John Wayne sniffing his ass as he arches toward nirvana in downward dog? Didn't think so.

The Alternative. Tyrolean traverses. A couple reps across one of these, especially with a heavy pack dangling from your harness and I guarantee your core will be sore. Bonus points if the Tyro is loose and strung with dynamic rope. An added benefit is it works your upper back, biceps, and shoulders. Damn near a total body work out. And if you get really good at it, you might just look as manly as Bronco here.

Meet the (Climbing) Press

2008-06-25T17:22:00.010-06:00

I've been thinking, which is a rarity so I'm acting on my impulses here. I figure not too many of you really know the people that run the mags, write the articles, or shoot the photos for all this climbing media. They seem so inaccessible, but really they're nice people, and not, for the most part, people to be hatin' on. So I'm starting this new section Meet the (Climbing) Press, so everyone will finally know the people behind the computer, keyboard, or lens.

Matt Samet was kind enough to take time out of his busy day and tell me about being Climbing Magazine's Editor-In-Chief.

-----

Matt Samet: Cool, then let me run to the john real quick and then I'll be back.
Sure.
Back -- great Success!
Great, so what's your title officially at Climbing?
I was editor for a year and now am editor-in-chief...officially
Well then, that's a sparkly little badge. How long have you been writing for the climbing media?
Let's see, my very first piece was a comp report on the White Rock Meltdown in 1991 -- then in 1996 I moved to Italy and was feeding World Cup and Hot Flashes-type info to the mag all that year. My first substantial piece was prolly a Vantage Point, on getting served in Europe, ca. 1996/1997 or so. I guess it made the editors laugh, and they gave me a column after that. So, let's say 12 years....
Since, you've managed to make yourself one of the most prolific and recognized writers in the climbing media. Of all the shit you've ever written, what was your most favorite piece or rather the article you were most proud of?
Oh, my... You know, it might be one in the last issue of Climbing on the newsstands, a profile piece on Doug Phillips -- an amazing inventor. The piece pushed me to research cam-making and things I didn't know much about otherwise. It was a great experience. The same issue, I did a short thing - 10 Things you didn't know about Hollywood Climbing Movies. Again, tons of research, and days and days of calls and emails just to get 800 words, but I got to hear all these killer stories about the climbers who do stunt work in Hollywood...the best ones, I couldn't print!
Any pieces that weren't quite as rewarding to write?
I don't like some of the more snarky, negative columns I've written over the years. I wouldn't write those things again...
I know you put up a fair number of routes at Rifle. What's the best Rifle story you got? I mean weren't you the one that gave Dumpster BBQ its name? or am i wrong about that?
Yeah, me and Scott Leonard named that one -- he'd bolted it, and let me climb on it. I can't remember if it was him or I that came up with it. Maybe one of the funniest things that ever happened was, we were just this obnoxious crew, even more so on rest days, when we were bored as hell. So one day we took to driving up and down the canyon yelling "Whooooo!" like a bunch of frat boys. My friend Greeno was doing this through the campground out of Jim Surette's truck, and a cop happened to be up there. He wasn't psyched, and he pulled Jim over, and I don't think Jim had insurance -- he got railed.
Shit.
But I had started it all, with the Whooing that morning, so I remember both of those guys were kind'a choked at me, but they also thought it was funny. So, that's the best story you could print...there are others, not fit for print!
We were so bored out there...it's so boring.
We did that last time I was there with the bag from a box of wine, we just ripped the bag out and started chugging away like it was a blood transfusion bag. We just added to the idea people already had about us Okies.
I hope it was Franzia.
I'm not entirely sure that I remember most of that day so I can't say for sure. So I know most editors (myself included) are terrible jackasses and tend to make jackasses of themselves in print. Any outstanding beefs still out in climbing community?
I don't have beef with anyone, no, but I'm sure there are people who don't like me -- that's life, though. I used to kind of push people's buttons, but I was young and stupid and easily influenced. Now I just want to be left alone, to climb with my fiancee, friends, play Xbox, nap...
What do you think about the ridiculous duffers devoting their time to multimillion post threads on Supertopo about little insignificant rocks?
I like lurking there and watching the arguments/discussions develop -- it can be pretty lively. People like arguing on the Internet -- it's the great equalizer. So rocks are probably as good a thing to argue about as any. I doubt the rocks much care what we're saying, one way or the other.
I suppose you're probably right, the last rock I talked to didn't much care for my wanderings.
Sounds about right -- rocks make good listeners, but they don't talk much. And when they do, it's cuz CHOSS is sliding off and you should GTFO!
I heard Vitamin H (or D?) whichever did that in Rifle some time ago. Told some people to fuck off?
Yeah, the whole right side of the Arsenal kinda gave us the old Amityville Horror "Get Out!" I'm sure the rest of it will fall down at some point. The first 20 feet of Pump-a-rama are hollow and terrifying -- it's the same plaque that cut already.
Here's a question for you -- why do climbers in the blogosphere hate on the mags so much? Not your site, per se, but I've seen it out there.
Because they've never worked in a magazine before and they're jealous of your writing and climbing skillz. They don't understand what work it is and how the system works.
I think there's this misconception of these mags as some monolithic media, but right now, Climbing's editorial staff is two editors working 70-hour weeks, an art director doing the same, a small ad crew busting ass, one webmaster, one half-time employee, two interns...we're really small.
I know right? We had to add a girl to our small crew just so we wouldn't seem like three horny dudes.
We're not Fox News or CNN, which really aren't media...we're just some scrappers trying to put together a mag every four to six weeks.
What top two pieces of advice would you give the climbers of today?
Check your systems and check your knot -- people die doing this sport. It's reality.
Well that's a good one I suppose. You used to do some pretty crazy stuff. I've seen Front Range Freaks what's the draw?
I guess for me, it's always been new routes in whatever style. Since you couldn't bolt up in the Flatirons then, I tried some headpointing and some ground-up scare leads. It was a cool experiment, but purely personal. I think the draw is seeing where your mental boundaries lie while working well within your physical comfort zone -- a unique game. Maybe too calculated, but it teaches you something...
If you weren't working for a climbing mag what would you be doing?
Probably copy-writing, freelance editing, night-stocker at a grocery store--nice and quiet, you get to wear headphones-- or living in a van down by the river.

Crag Exposure: Rifle (Guest Post!)

2008-06-24T10:29:00.013-06:00

Today's crag exposure comes from P&C's friend Andrew Bisharat. Rifle needed to be covered, and Andrew is the only person I could think of that would do it better than me, so naturally, I convinced him it was a good idea. Enjoy. -Wig

Rifle

When people think of Rifle, they think of what could only be called “A Scene”: shirtless posers, loser spraylords, dumb beta scammers, belay gumbies, non-pimps, overly self-conscious females who annoyingly whisper to each other while sitting on rope bags, dreadlocked trip-hoppers, and the gaper choads of climbing gyms who have everything to prove and nothing to lose by talking as loudly as possible.

Guess what? In this case, people are completely right. (How often does that happen?)

Rifle IS a Scene. It’s fucking annoying. At least to me, a “local,” which is to say that my opinion overrides the opinions of just about everyone reading this.

On weekends, I am forced to park in butt-fuck-istan (aka The Bauhaus) with all the chossers and Mexicans. Then, I have to walk up to 10 minutes just to go wait in line to climb my favorite warm-up, Rehabilitator (5.11c). This is Not Fucking Cool! I hate walking. If I wanted to walk, I would get on a treadmill and drink apricot smoothies and smell my own farts. Rather, I want to fall out of my car into my harness and, in an instant, be pissing all over Your Project (5.easy).

Some say that the climbing in Rifle is pretty fun. These people have never been to France or Mallorca, where there is actual quality stone and beautiful scenery. Those who have been abroad and still think that Rifle is good need to be Danza slapped.

Climbers go to Rifle for the same reason that gay men sign up for priest seminary school: To hate themselves by repressing their most intrinsic nature. Rifle is not a place to Send—it’s a place to suffer, suck and fail. Crushing your psyche into a bitter, vestigial ego totally describes the climbing experience here.

Arguably, the best part of Rifle may be how many climbers with vaginas it attracts. “Females,” as they are otherwise know n, may be showing increasing presence throughout the climbing community (especially compared to the 1970s, when you could count the number of Climber Girls on one cloven hoof), but nowhere do you find a higher concentration of Girls Who Crush than at Rifle.

This canyon is a fantastic place to socialize and flirt, and that (not the climbing) is certainly the strongest attraction for many. This is why you rarely see people leading, and more often see gumbies hanging out by their big, stupid camper-cars with annoying little stove-and-cooler set-ups, sniffing each other’s crotches like a pack of wild dogs.

Big fucking deal. Anyone can tighten their harness leg loops to make their baby dicks look bigger, but not everyone can interact with members of the opposite sex. You don’t see many Rifle climbers, say, “rollin’ up on dat shorty and spittin' hot fire.” Instead, Riflers play strange mindfuck games, like they do in sexually repressed Japan, such as projecting an adjacent route to their love interest. This works right up until the Female realizes that she climbs much harder than the Male, whose ego becomes even further crushed because of the gender prejudices concerning athletic performance that still linger among a majority of climber dudes. But again, having your ego crushed is the quintessential Rifle experience, so it’s fine.

The climbing here can best be described as “tricky.” Climbers take months or, not atypically, years before finally reducing a hard climb with enough kneebar trickery and dickhole jessery. In fact, what people “do” in Rifle is barely considered rock climbing in the Eastern bloc of Europe.

So what? This is America, which gives us the freedom to be Louder and Righter than anyone else. It’s the embodiment of this attitude and the freedom to yell “MEX-I-CO!” on the rare occasions I send something that continues to draw me back. Huh? Never mind, robot, and listen to what I say: Rifle is the best summer crag in the United States, and right now its “Scene” is one of the most fun, none-too-serious parties rocking the vertical ghetto.

If you know how to laugh at yourself, and more important, bring extra beer for Me, Rifle can be a pretty good time. I don’t know. There must be some reason that I spend every weekend there. Maybe I just enjoy hating myself. It was either Rifle or priest school.

CAMPING: Campsites are getting fuller and more crowded as the years go on. As a result, more cops come up to patrol on the weekends, which is BAD. Keep a low profile, and don’t do anything stupid. Rules are: no more than two cars and two tents per site.

Rifle is extremely busy and possibly dangerous. There was once a veritable holocaust of two unfortunate victims in a dumpster here. Hungry-looking bears have been spotted in the Wicked Cave. Old, worn draws have been known to slice ropes quicker than bushido blades. Fingers have been lost to desperate clips. Consider not coming to Rifle in the first place. There’s perfectly reasonable climbing in Clear Creek Canyon.

ACCESS: Rifle is open to climbing, but it doesn’t have to be. Keeping this place open means not being a Dumbasss Idiot. And by that, I mean: Don’t belay in the road at the Project wall. Pay the $5 entrance fee (or buy a season pass). Pay for your campsite ($7/night). Don’t park like an autistic loser in illegal spots. Clean up your trash. Don’t shit everywhere. Be friendly. Leave Me alone. And most importantly, keep your dog on a leash. Better yet, don’t bring your dog at all. I assure you that your pet is not as well behaved or cute as you think it is. Rifle’s crag dogs are often annoying and always wet. If this were Mexico, they’d be shot.

PROJECTING ATTITUDE: You’re not special, no one cares about you, and what you are doing is not badass. People climbed all of these routes over a decade ago, before there were gyms to train in. They also didn’t have 15 years of beta refinement from which you now so thoughtlessly rely upon to climb even the most straightforward routes. Leave the attitude at home, in the Front Range, where it belongs.

MUST-DO ROUTES: There’s nothing worth climbing here under 5.13b. Still, some gumbies say they like: Pinch Fest (5.12b), Hand Me the Canteen Boy (5.12d), Cardinal Sin (5.12a), Choss Family (5.11c), Rumor Has It (5.11b) and Do The Mashed Potato (5.7). Other favorites include: Anti-Phil (5.13b), Sprayathon (5.13c), Fluff Boy (5.13c), Pump-o-Rama (5.13a), I’m Not a Philistine (best 5.12c in canyon), Sometimes Always (5.13c), Simply Read (5.13d) and Zulu (5.14a).

Avoid: Cryptic Egyptian (5.13c). It’s a zero-star pile of glued shit.

Check out Dave Pegg’s brand-new guidebook to Rifle (and other Western Slope choss piles), which should be arriving in stores this week. Notable changes to the guidebook include downgrading The Beast to 5.12d and upgrading Roadside Prophet to 5.14a.

REST-DAY ACTIVITIES: Cleaning up trash. Brushing chalk off of my projects. Replacing old, worn draws by contributing your brand new ones.

Mt. Evans, Colorado—Solstice

2008-06-24T09:08:00.013-06:00

I headed up to Mt. Evans this Saturday with Jason Kehl and Abbey Smith to try my project—Bierstadt (V10), Abbey's project—Silverback (V11), and Jason's project—City Walls of Dying Dreams sit down start (V11-first ascent Adam Osterhoff). It was a great day even though no one sent...We got an early start (9:30 am)—which I only agreed to after a considerable bribe of coffee, pastries and smokes from Abbey. I used to ONLY be a post-noon climber, psyched to head to Chaos when the crowds were leaving, psyched for 1 hour of climbing for 3 driving + 2 hiking. But, maybe I've changed. Now I'm like, "DAVE GRAHAM GET THE FUCK OFF THE COUCH SO WE CAN GO CLIMBING!" Beware dogowners, there's a ferocious porcupine near Area B that looks like a carpet square crossed with a dragon crossed with a manta ray. Getting those fuckers out of your dog's gums is no fun for anyone.

Jason Kehl

City Walls of Dying Dreams sds

Area B

Abbey Smith on a Dave Hume classic

Holy Flash Tent!!!

2008-06-23T09:00:00.004-06:00

Lazy Outdoor Enthusiasts Unite! Your portable shelter of preference has arrived. Be introduced to Eldorado Outdoor Products commencement into the world of camping.

I have always dreaded assembling a tent, probably because I'm lazy and I typically arrive at campsites sometime in the wee hours of the morning after driving most the night after a work week. Not only did I dread assembling, but also disassembling. Tents are just a pain in the ass. You have poles, tarps, rain flies and a general mess on your hands. Well, exhale your anticipatory breathes, your savior from the general riff raff, rinky dink, complicated tent situation has landed.

Eldorado Outdoors is offering a very bueno product called the Wind Ridge 3-Second Flash Tent. You've seen gimmick tent products that offer you fast and easy assembly, but they always seem to fail in quality and construction. This Eldo product is Locker, Trucker, Splitter, or whatever other colloquial climber term you would like to input.

The Amenities according to Bronco:

1) Serious Pockets for books, iPods, headlamps, midnight snackies
2) Great Shoe Pocket feature accessible from outside and inside
3) Floor Tarp material attached, so no need for external tarps! Plus, tarp material extends 6 inches up the inside side walls of the tent. Now all those mud/jello wrestling scenarios are possible.
4) Did I mention that you set this tent up in 3 Seconds! Just to clarify.
5) Affordable!!! To sound like an infomercial...Act Now and You save $20 dollars for this One Time, Limited, Promotional Price of $169.99.

No, seriously, this is an affordable product at this price. Obviously, your not getting a go to K2, epic wind, the world is ending but I'm safe in my tent, tent, but you are getting a suitable tent for most seasons that is easy up and down and durable.

Thank God that American convenience living has finally come to the outdoor world with quality! The Eldorado tent is a very worthy product for you to check out on the site that is posted above. Videos, Pictures and more in depth vital info is available for your curious minds. Now, go buy one!

Photos!

2008-06-20T06:49:00.002-06:00

Hey kids, keep sending in your photos for the Photo Me contest. So far we have had some good submissions, but we need more!!! Plus I just recieved the F-Stop gear in the mail this week, sick! Remember, send them to PIMPINANDCRIMPIN@GMAIL.COM. DO IT!

Sorry for the lack of posts this week, I won't bore you with details of how busy we are, or that our pirated internet is down, or that we have been climbing or drinking every night, but I guess I just did. Stay tuned though, good things coming your way soon...

Speaking of photos, check two things for me. Big Andy means big pimpin and crimpin. He just got back from the Valley where he documented two Midwesterners in an attempt to climb Half Dome and the Captain in a day! Scope it here. Okay, that's really just one thing. Enjoy your weekends, we're headed back to Rifle town!

Photo: climbing.com. some dude on some classic rifle choss route

Crag Exposure: The Eldorado Canyon

2008-06-14T10:55:00.000-06:00

I start out with a verbal sigh because Eldorado Canyon or Eldo, as its affectionately known, is a major Destination Crag that shouldn't be penned with fleeting thoughts. I will probably fail one hundred percent, but here goes.

The canyon, characters, bolts or lack there of, pins, flakes, towers, and history make Eldo one of the most famous rock climbing areas in the U S of A. This sandstone wonder-canyon can make men cry, women swoon, and send Euros packing. Located just south of the People's Republic of Boulder, Eldo was the forefront of rock climbing for years and has since seen a resurgence in popularity among young, talented, and bold tradsters (aka, Eric Decaria, Matt Segal, Matt Wilder, Justen Sjong, or your basic front range freak). Climbing in Eldo can evoke sappy nostalgic emotions to climbing history buffs. Once the playground of Layton Kor, Larry Dalke, Pat Ament, Jim Ericson, Roger Briggs, and a host of other old school pimpers and crimpers, Eldo is a virtual rock climbing Smithsonian. Utilizing pins pounded into the conglomerate sandstone, the typical rock climber is clipping artifacts from days gone by. Nostalgic, but frightening!

While early generations stuck mostly to the obvious lines on the Redgarden Wall, Bastille, and the Wind tower, latter generations sought out harder lines at Rincon, West Ridge and then attacked the old aid routes as free climbing techniques developed. When sport climbing kicked off in America Eldo proclaimed drilling bolts as an evil act and banned their use in the park. Therefore, the observant Eldoradoer will recognize a lack of sport routes in the 5.13 and harder category. Save of course the classics which slipped in before the ban. Hard classic sport routes such as Rainbow Wall, The Web, and Desdichado do exist, however, Eldo is staunchly traditional and rightly so. The traditional lines that have been established in this canyon are proud. You may recognize a few of these names: The Yellow Spur, Bastille Crack, The Naked Edge, Jules Verne, Doub Griffith, blah blah, the list of classics is endless, well not really endless, but it's really long.

With over 500 routes to her name, Eldo has a little something for everyone. Think you're solid at a certain grade? Step up to the plate in Eldo and then we'll talk. Face climbing with RP's and micro-cams can humiliate and humble the average joe. Oh yeah, don't forget two big brass balls when you rack up, chances are they will come in handy on a large percentage of Eldo routes. Multi-pitch madness, casual cragging, bouldering, it's all wrapped up in a tight little canyon called Eldo, here on the front range.

Down to the nitty gritty. The must do's for Eldo adventure seekers:

The Moderates: Bastille Crack 5.7, Wind Ridge 5.6, Ruper 5.7, Rewritten 5.7, and Reggae 5.7

The Semi-Moderates: Yellow Spur 5.9, Werk Supp 5.9, XM 5.10c, Outer Space 5.10, Rosy Crucifixion 5.10, Grand Giraffe 5.10, Super Slab 5.10c, Over the Hill 5.10, Rincon 5.10, Hand Craker Direct 5.10, and Deviant 5.9+

The More-Serious Moderates: Vertigo 5.11b, The Naked Edge 5.11, C'est Le Vie 5.11b, Jules Verne 5.11, Supremacy Crack 5.11b, Pansee Savauge 5.11b R, Le Boomerang 5.11d, Doub Griffith 5.11c, and the list goes on and on in this category.

The Scary and Hard: Wendego 5.12a, Genesis 5.12+, The Evictor 5.12d R, Scary Canary, 5.12+, Musta been High 5.13+, Iron Monkey 5.14

Photo Credits: aceeldo.org,

A send analysis

2008-06-13T18:00:00.006-06:00

Last week, I finally redpointed my spring project, Public Solitude in Clear Creek. For a grid bolted wall like Primo, the route is brilliant. I would try to describe it but you would probably quit reading. Suffice it to say that the route is hard for me. Really hard. Hard enough that it took me nearly 30 tries. To me, why I finally send a route is always sort of a mystery. Thus, in the spirit of science, I've decided to keep track of the things I do differently when I finally do send my choss pile project.

Here's what I've got. I went through countless beta changes trying to find the sequence that worked best for me. Since I slightly changed beta almost every outing, I'm throwing out that piece of data. Here's what's left:

I didn't work that day
I was wearing a new baddass shirt from Urban Outfitters
I shaved my balls

With the giant bush I had going on, I'm chalking up my success to number 3. I think shaving that thing probably dropped a couple pounds-enough to send this choss monkey to chains. There's only one question left-is sending worth the razor burn?

Letters of the Week

2008-06-13T10:36:00.001-06:00

LETTERS!

So just when I thought I couldn't fit in here (D.C.) any worse...a girl from my building walks on the elevator and scoffs at me in my Chacos and prAna pants and asks "what exactly are you wearing?" Feeling like a total outcast from the "cool girl" crowd I head out to Great Falls park for some memorial day climbing with a couple friends. Of course the good climbing areas are pretty crowded and there just so happens to be a group of guys that I like to call the "gawkers" They stare at you amazed at the sight of a female climber but are afraid to come say anything, then they jump on the hardest climb to try and impress you. So this particular group of "gawkers" keeps on staring at me as if they have never seen a female before, finally one of the brave "gawkers" emerges from the pack....he first apologizes for he and his friends staring at me but that they thought I looked exactly like the climber cutie of the week on a climbing website called pimpin and crimpin. I started laughing and was like well actually I am that girl, congrats on meeting me. They even wanted to get pictures with me thinking I was some pseudo celebrity for having been on the site.
Just when I thought I couldn't be any more of an outcast up here, P&C made me a celebrity for a day. Thanks P&C!
~Beka

Bronco:
Beka! This is plain awesomeness, I actually stand in awe of it! We pick the Cute Climber of the Week for good reason, you're girls, you're climbers, you're HOT! Obviously, no exception to you. Glad we could bolster your spirits.

C-note:
Whoever says we're just a bunch of worthless, frustrated, jobless, climbing bums is wrong! We're changing people's lives here at P&C! Congrats on your hotness, Beka—keep up the good work!

Hey P&C crew, something I have noticed is the interesting connection between the climbing community and rap. Gimme some NWA, Snoop, Jay Z any day and I'll eat it up. I just wanted to prod your climbing culture savvy minds to get an answer, whatever it may be, as to why a bunch of predominately uber white climbers choose rap as their genre of choice. When did this connection begin? What does it mean? This may be a self explanatory question.

Keep bloggin,
John Oxford

Bronco:
Johnny boy, may I call you Johnny Boy? Good question my whizzle. Just because white man can't jump, dance, or look cool with a 20lb gold chain swinging from his neck don't mean we can't enjoy us some hip hop. It does seem strange that dirty, skinny, white people in crags all across the world gravitate towards some form of hip hop or rap. We generally don't ball very hard, except in our own little climbing world niche. But hot damn! Hip Hop is just plain awesome! I think it makes us feel like BAMFs. So, live by these words from Ice Cube, the Warlord, "Gangsta rap made me do it..."

Wig:
Overcompensation.

C-note:

Well, maybe we should just quote white rappers from here on out, you know, Eminem, Buck 65, who else...? Oh yeah, Hitler.

Limit: Bronco is right. Rap make you feel like a badass mutherfucker. Twenty five years ago it would have been Big Hair Rock n Roll, now referred to as Mullet Rock which is only listened to by hicks from Tuttle, Oklahoma who live in a trailer park, have dipped since before they could walk, and think that Kiss was the crowning pinnicle of achievment for western music. This is 2008 and cool people listen to rap. We are cool. Or at least we're trying our damnedest.

Photo Me!

2008-06-12T07:57:00.006-06:00

Okay, the crew from F-Stop gear has generously and/or sympathetically hooked us up with some sick accessories! If you haven't heard of F-Stop, check'em out! Their photo gear is legit for the pro photo dude to the gumby digital user, like me. Still using a Polaroid, don't bother reading this.

Here's the biz. We will be giving away some F-Stop goodies to the winner of a little photo contest. Now, the pics that should be submitted are to be taken with a handheld digital camera. You pro photogs just stay away and let the amateurs have a go at this shizzy. Werd? Generally, the pics should be of climbing or climbing lifestyle, you know, no photos of your naked body, unless you are good looking. Contest will begin when this is published and end when I say so, so get your pics to me PRONTO! You know where to send'em, but I will tell you again, pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com. DO IT! Oh, peep F-Stop. Here are some examples...

Cute Climbing Girl of the Week: Aimee Tetreault

2008-06-10T09:32:00.010-06:00

Name: Aimee Tetreault (pronounced "tay-tro")

Age: 25

Location: Newark, Delaware

Hometown: Grew up in a town in Michigan that isn't even on the map, therefore doesn't get named.

Relationship status: single

What are you doing right this second?

I'm sucking down a slurpee and just got back some sweating at the gym

Which female climber do you most look up too?

Dude, she's probably going to read this, but I'll admit it openly, I have a girl-crush on Al y Dorey. She's FIERCE, and complicated. Which I like cause I can relate. To the complicated part I mean, not yet on the fierce part.

Describe yourself using your name as an acrostic.

Adorable, Ironic, Messy, Eccentric, Eclectic.

If you were a hip-hop all-star what would you be called?

My gangster name is "Th

e Original Dollface Killa". It's my rapper name, for when I become a rapper

I heard you're a wino. If you could only drink one kind of wine forever which would it be?

Shiraz, and I'm NOT above Yellowtail. Although I have been known to get killer cased of winemouth.

Winemouth? Like purple lips?

Yeah, that weird red ring around your lips, and your teeth are all stained up. I get it REAL BAD

If you weren't completely obsessed with climbing what would you do instead?

I've decided that I need more skills. Guys like girls with skills, so I tried to take up knife throwing, but the studio I was supposed to have my lesson at burnt to the ground.

That's...a bummer.

I'm tragically upset by all this

How did you decide on knife throwing?

Jason Kehl gave me this awesome throwing dagger thing. It's heavy, but I think it will work. I'm thinking Chinese stars next. It freaked some of my guy friends out though. They don't want me to have any sort of ability to kill or maim them, but knife throwing is so Angelina Jolie badass hot.

What's your ideal date?

Two-day event, starting with dinner. Classy joint. Wine and talking followed by an early morning wakeup to go climbing somewhere not-of-this-world cool.

That’s it? It’s that simple?

Yep, I’m pretty low-key.

Are you two together for the whole night?

That depends on if me meets my hypothetical standards.

Can I give a shout out to the Delaware Rock Gym? Where all of your wildest dreams will come true?

I suppose you just did.

Thanks. www.derockgym.com - we are the only gym I've ever heard of that boasts a state-of-the-art regulation arm wrestling table. I'm not even kidding.

And how do you fair? Are you kicking all the boys and girls’ asses?

Eh. Not too bad. This one time this skinny waify model thin girl totally whooped my ass, and afterwards, while I was still in a daze and completely baffled as to how she beat me, she says "Uh...well, I poured concrete for a while..." I'm a lefty though so it throws people off.

A southpaw huh? What's your favorite thing about the South?

It's very nice there, nice people. Interesting food. AWESOME rock. I'm not too psyched on grits. I'll admit, and when I was in Louisiana with my dad everyone thought I was his "lady friend.”

What's the best part about Delaware? I can't imagine there is much that's great about it.

Oh here we go.

NO SALES TAX!!! WHOOPIE!!! We are two hours or less from five major cities. We boast lovely beaches, including the uber-gay-friendly Rehobeth Beach, we have the Dogfish Head brewery, and Wayne's World put us on the map.

Can I tell a joke? (props to Tim Keenan for this one)

knock knock!

Who's there?

ieatmop

ieatmop who? Oh I see. I’ve been had. What other skills do you have besides making me feel like an idiot and scaring men with throwing knives?

I'm an ordained minister via the internet and just officiated my friend's wedding. I am qualified to do weddings, funerals, baptisms, and exorcisms. But I need a special oil to do the exorcisms. It turns out, it's totally legit!!! All I had to do was type in my name and click on "Ordain Me." I even have a "clergy" parking pass that gets me all the sweet spots at the funerals. I mean, really, have you EVER tried to park at a funeral? It's a shit show.

Photos by: Dustin Briggs and Cyril Brunner

2008 Teva Mountain Games—Bouldering World Cup

2008-06-10T06:55:00.008-06:00

World Cup winners Kilian Fischhuber (AUT) and Alex Johnson (US)

The 2008 Teva Mountain Games hosted the Bouldering World Cup this past weekend in Vail, Colorado. Thousands of athletes and spectators converged on the Disney-esque mountain town, including kayakers, mountain bikers and climbers. Mad props to the 6 men and women who battled it out in finals. Austrian Kilian Fischhuber won the men's, red-headed Italian Gabriele Moroni landed in second and Paul Robinson—U.S., slid into third. Daniel Woods placed fifth and Ty Landman, for Great Britain, sixth. Alex Johnson (US) won the women's, Katharina Saurwein (AUT) came in second, and the favored Anna Stohr (AUT) placed third. Impressive efforts by Tiffany Hensley (US) 4th and Alex Puccio (US) 6th. Usual suspects Angie Payne, Chris Sharma and David Lama didn't make finals. Honestly, it was super inspiring to see so many strong climbers try so hard. A palpable "I get paid by my country to climb" vibe accompanied the typical chalkbag throwing, wall kicking and screaming. And to top it all off I had a blast partying with the Euros and doing the worm with DW—yep, the worm.

MC Timmy O'Neill

Tiffany Hensley (US) and Paul Robinson (US)

Daniel Woods (US)

Anna Stohr (AUT) and Alex Puccio (US)

Chris Sharma, Ty Landman, Kilian Fischhuber. Ty, Gabri and Kilian.

David Lama (AUT) and Paul Robinson (US)

Crag Exposure: The Monastery

2008-06-09T16:18:00.003-06:00

With a name like 'The Monastery' you may think your cragging experience religious as you foray through spines of stone high above the Big Thompson river. Well, I guess that hinges on whether you send or don't send. However, everyone can find something that satisfies their soul at this shischt/gneiss sanctuary. Whether you're looking for sandbagged Tommy Caldwell steepness, moderate slabs, or classic face climbing you are sure to find something to thank the gods for. Additionally, The Monastery is a good area, but you should be warned that I wouldn't consider it a destination crag. If you find yourself on the front range for a while and want something a little different, then head up there, but you would probably be sad to drive a distance just to climb there. Okay, the preface is over, here's the meat!

Don't be dissuaded by evil stories of the "heinous" approach to the monastary, it's just not that bad! Considering that the crag is at 8000 feet may cause flatlanders, smokers, and general lazy asses to take a little longer on the trail, but it is well worth the effort. By the way, I am all three of the above mentioned adjectives and I am cool with the approach, twenty-five minutes or so. Due to elevation this area is pretty tolerable during the summer, so it may be beneficial to cruise up there if the Boulder is just way too hot. This crag is also bueno during spring and fall seasons. Bring all the usual necessities for bolt clipping, plus a hardened set of finger-tip skin. Watch for Rattlesnakes, Mountain Lions, and cursing would be third ascensionists of Grand Ole Opry.

There are several areas to consider when headed up to the Monastery. The Vestibule should NOT be missed though. This classic corridor holds some of the best and most aesthetic routes at the crag. The must do list includes: Tabula Rosa 10c, Arch Crack 11b, Stolen Land 11c, and Psychatomic 12d (Some say the BEST 12d in Colorado, I may have to agree, at least top 3). For the mutant crowd try your hand at: The Quickening 13c, Third Millenium 13d, Grand Ole Opry 14a.

Additional areas to consider for your Monastery experience include; The Lion's Den, The Corridor, The Bear's Den, and The Outer Gates. These walls contain routes that range from 5.6 to 5.12, with a good amount of moderate routes in the 5.9 range, so go get on them! The Guidebook, Bernard Gillett's Estes Park Valley.

NYC hates me

2008-06-07T14:12:00.002-06:00

So I'm sure you've noticed I haven't posted in a while. I apologize, but I'm not really that sorry. It might be a while before I can get back (not too long mind you but maybe a week or two). The other night my car was broken into here in this wonderful city of dreams come true and my computer was stolen. Anyway. Don't be upset, it's not my fault. Now I just hope all those naked pictures I took of myself don't end up on the internet.

-Wig.

Whiskey Wednesday

2008-06-04T08:52:00.002-06:00

The weekly toast comes to you with praise and astonishment this week as Justin Sjong and Tommy Caldwell have accomplished big wall free business the likes of which have not been seen. These two skilled and super sick professionals have once again proven themselves on the big stone, freeing Magic Mushroom (IV, 13d/14a) in the Valley. Crazy and continuous MM is the future of free climbing on Big Walls. Not only did they climb the route, but they did it in style, swinging leads from the ground up in a single push!

Basically all you need to know about this route to hold it as the proudest free big wall ever is this...28 pitches of climbing, 12 of which are between 13- and 14-, and 9 pithces of 5.12! I'm exhausted just writing that. Cheers boys, great job!

Photos:

1. Justin on a Free Muir Wall, courtesy of alpineclub.stanford.edu/.
2. Tommy on the changing corners pitch and the cover of Climbing, courtesy of climbing.com

Cute Climber Girl of the Week: Kara Caputo

2008-06-03T12:24:00.005-06:00

Name: Kara Caputo
Location: Boulder, CO
Hometown: Islamorada, Florida
Relationship: Attached.

Wig: What's the best part about being a girl climber
KC: VIP status and getting the chance to travel
Wig: VIP status? What does that entail?
KC: Red carpets, designer clothes, and the occasional free bag of Super Chalk
Wig: Ever get hit on at the crag?
KC: Sometimes... once by a group of Native Americans. They played the flute to bless our rope and then did bird calls, and kept asking for our picture.
Wig: Well did you give it to ‘em?
KC: Yes, I was too shy to say no.
Wig: Well how's that boytoy of yours feel about you running around American crags in designer clothes with free super chalk drivin’ all the boys (and Native American men) crazy?
KC: I’m sure it is a real struggle for him
Wig: Well it's a good thing he's not any good at climbing then.
KC: Yeah, he’s really no good so he doesn’t see me in the climbing world very often.
Wig: Who is your favorite hip-hop artist or what is your favorite song/line
KC: Line by Outkast: "The way she moved was like a brown stallion horse with skates on, ya know? Smooth like a hot comb on nappy-ass hair..."
Artist: Mos Def & Jay-Z
Wig: Spotieotiedopalicious is the best Outkast song ever.
Okay fill in the following sentences
I hate it when ________
KC: I can't think of something to fill in the blank with.
Wig: If you can't stand the heat then____
KC: Get out of Florida or don’t stand so close to me.
Wig: This is going to be a bit Jeopardy-ish.
I'm going to say the answer and you're going to give me the question (or statement).
First:
“That's what she said.”
KC: This one's long and hard.
Wig: How about, “That's what HE said.”
KC: That undercling is kinda wet...
Wig: Tell me the best joke you ever heard.
KC: What’s long brown and sticky?
Wig: What?
KC: A stick!

Spiders.

2008-06-03T00:57:00.002-06:00

Just watch it. Brought to you by Jason Kehl, Mike Auldridge and Shane Williams on behalf of cryptochild and crash the internet.
goodness. Mike=man

Greetings

2008-05-31T17:22:00.003-06:00

Okay, apologies all around for our recent lack of fresh material. Climbing a lot coupled with our pirated home internet connection getting swiped, has caused some problems in our posting situation. Anyhow, I have a couple things to talk about.

Numero Uno. I am frickin psyched today, I sent my project at Primo Wall!!! First rattle out of the box this morning I cruised and how sweet it is. So, onward and upward I go, in search for another obsession.

Numero Dos. Our friend and climbing colleague Les Warnock has arrived in town with a vengeance. The kid has been here for like a week or so and is freaking crushing routes. A boulderer by trade, Les is amped for sport routes during his summer stay in. Even after taking some time off before he got here and with his limited sissy bouldering endurance, Les has dispatched with Sucking My Will to Live 12c, Ken Tanks 12c (second attempt), and Ten Digit Dialing 12c! Psyched to see where this leads.

Numero Tres. This week, for all Front Rangers, or those planning on coming, Dosage V Premieres at the Boulder Theater on Wed night, eight o'clock! Be there or be stupid. After party at Bacaro! For those of you that don't make it I will be writing an amazing review, there's your bone.

Numero Quatro. It's summer!

Photo: Les Warnock crushing something hard in the durty durty!

Whiskey Wednesday

2008-05-28T08:38:00.006-06:00

Good Wednesday Folks! Hope all is well in your corner of the globe and hope you get out and drink a little sourmash tonight. Whiskey Wednesday toasts are reserved for special people and special groups of people. These folks may have achieved something extraordinary, survived something harrowing, look good, or just did something stinking cool. This week's toast is no exception. Even though the recipient of this weeks toast won't be able to legally consume adult beverages for another 6 years, we will raise our glasses anyhow.

Adam Ondra, the Czech wiz kid, wasn't even born yet when the groundbreaking Action Directe (9a or 14d) was established by the late great Wolfgang Gullich. However, this little Eastern Bloc Gromette has once again wondered us with unsightly feats of awesomeness! To date, Ondra has climbed 9 routes 14d or HARDER!!! Oh yeah, he's 15. Now I know what most of you are saying, 'oh he won't be pulling that hard when he grows up and puts weight on.' Well, whether he does or doesn't, this kid is badass right now, just to have the technical prowess to climb a route like Action is amazing. Plus, that's what everyone said about Sharma when he did Necessary Evil at 16, I think Chris is still doing pretty well in his man-body. Here's to another Adam, one that can actually crush. Cheers Czech phenom boy, can't wait to see what your future holds.

Photo courtesy of Czechclimbing.com

Peep the Vid of AO sending Action Directe on Euroclimbing.com

Not your General Tag

2008-05-27T15:24:00.004-06:00

I heard about Banksy several months ago on the tele (that's my british vernacular). I was crusing the internet today and stumbled on some of his work. May I say, amazing! Satiracal, Insightful, and down right awesome. So, if you havn't heard of Banksy before check this out. If you click the link above you will be directed to Banksy's website. Enjoy.

Little Miss Prissy

2008-05-26T14:23:00.006-06:00

In light of the recent 'Cute Climber Girl of the Week' debate, I'd like to turn everyone's attention to Miss Prissy. If she were a climber she'd definitely be my first choice for CCGOTW (yes, I'm a girl and I think it's great). Either way, she's got mad skillz and does a lot of abs...Check out the fierce girlpower, you're guaranteed to be a better dancer after watching!

Rap Lyrics of the Week

2008-05-23T11:49:00.005-06:00

Bronco:
That's right there nigga, nigga I'm wild
Nigga I keep trash bags with me
Never know when you gotta dump a nigga out
This sin-surr, this some sin-surr SHIT right hurr!
-Threats, the Black Album (Jay-Z)

C-note:

Sippin' on some sizzurp

-Three 6 Mafia

Wig:
You're not ill, and if you are
My note pad's full of medicine
Plus my freestyle is Excederin
Take two rounds and call me back with a new style
And show me you're prepared for the final frontier
-Blueprint

Limit:
I spit like semi-automatic to the grill
Wutang Clan

Wig's Werd #2: MADLOLZ

2008-05-22T21:39:00.004-06:00

The internetz is crazy ehn't it? It started with Goetse and just moved on from there. Girls and cups, cats, lolz, Rick rollings, Bill O'Fuckitwelldoitlive, things I did last night, Tom Cruise and Scientology, Chris Crocker, Tila Tequila and the rest of the virtual maelstrom that does nothing but suck life from hapless "surfers" stupid enough to continue tip tapping on their keyboards. Shit, I'm watching Top Chef on Bravo now at 12:55 a.m. and I just saw a commercial that said we can vote on the best web celebrity or cewebrity for whatever awards show would honor an attention whore by calling him/her/himher a word only six-year-olds say.

Oddly enough I can't get enough of all this. I love the internet. I think it's just wonderful and I've become quite adroit at navigating it with a speed and accuracy that's rivaled only by the designers of the search engines I use. My ability to quickly locate New York Magazine's naked pictures of Lindsey Lohan is beside the point though. This is about my problem. I have one. Only one of course. I am completely addicted to being apart of internet communities. Those terrible fickle people who comment on things with the poise and tact of a (barely) post-pubescent teenager who smokes PCP or crack in his spare time.

A quick list of dot-coms I have active accounts with:
gmail(3), oumail, yahoo, hotmail, facebook, myspace(2), flickr, photobucket, dopplr, linkedin, collegehumor, gawker, rockclimbing, mountainproject, blogspot, tumblr, wmcc, muxtape, atrium, eatstreetmeat, yourclimbing, rockandice, 8a, youtube, mediabistro, condenet, aim/ichat, skype, bancfirst, bank of america, stillwater national bank, moola, ebay, amazon, itunes, paypal, and countless retailers I've ordered online stuff from.

I am certain there are a few that I am missing but I don't care. Looking at that long list makes me sad enough. Thankfully friendster and xanga were never apart of that arsenal, but that doesn't make me feel much better. It's an odd relationship I have with the internet. It keeps changing its mood on me, and I have to always adapt to make our relationship work. It's simply not fair. If the internet was my girlfriend I would have told her to pack her bags a long time ago.

I know that's sort of an obvious place to (attempt) to take this considering this website is primarily about climbing, and I don't care because this is my wannabe-column and I can do whatever the hell I want. My hectic one-sided relationship with the internet makes me glad I have something like climbing.

Climbing is static. It's changes are subtle like the advent of revolutionary gear or top of the limit sends. This makes adjusting easy and not so frantic. Climbing is primal and simple. I don't even need anything to do it except a rock. I used to run cross-country and track. I liked that too because it's so damn pure. you don't even need shoes to run. You don't need anything but some kind of mostly horizontal surface. Climbing is on the other end as soon as the path gets too steep to run you start using your hands and viola! You're climbing. All you need to climb is a mostly vertical surface. It's simple. It's pure.

I realize that in this modern day we don't let climbing be that clean and pure. We have gear and shoes and ropes and bolts and anchors which is great. The base of climbing is still one of the simplest things ever. Plus I don't ever have to remember my password to rack up a set of cams instead of quickdraws.

Psyched!

2008-05-22T17:53:00.002-06:00

Alright good and faithful P&Cers, we are extremely curious about what ya'll are psyched on right now. May it be Alpine, clip-ups, trad, blocs, a road trip, beer, whatever, write us and tell us all about it. I'll start.

I tried this route at our home crag last fall about 8 times and I got back on it after work yesterday. Psyched! New beta was thrown our way from Mister Matt Lloyd and I watched Derek piss all over the thing as I pulled up to the crag. The route, River Run, a super physical short route at Primo Wall. Probably the MOST physical route I have tried to date, but I got amped when I grunted my way through most of it and hit the crux pinch yesterday. It's mine, I can taste the success. Right now, totally obsessed! I found myself pantomiming as I worked today, that's lame, I know, but I can't help it. It's on manana after I get off work!

So share and share alike kids, let us know what you are up to.

Bronco

Whiskey Wednesday

2008-05-21T06:49:00.003-06:00

Ahoy! It's Wednesday folks, so I guess that means mid-week debaucherous activities shall commence, I am in the midst as we speak. Honestly, I haven't seen much this week that impresses me to the point of a Wednesday toast, and those things that I have seen or heard about have already gone to people who have received this prestigious honor. So I started thinking about things that impress me and I've come up with this. My weekly award to all things good and pure goes to the gorgeous Boulder females that climb. This town, Boulder, seems to attract a strong, to quite strong amount of crazy hot women who crush! There are too many of you out there to name, so I will keep the field open to the general hot Boulder climber girl. In Conclusion, here's to beautiful Boulder girls, Boulder for hosting them, Christian Griffith for equipping these lovely ladies with short climbing shorts, and Summer for necessitating their use! Cheers ladies.

Avery Beer Challenge

2008-05-20T22:41:00.003-06:00

Here's what I know about this. Dan climbs like a damned maniac. He's strong. I'm pretty sure he could rip a medium sized phone book in half. He can also drink. I've witnessed this first hand. He's talented.

It's no wonder then that he would combine his awesome skills into one twisted hip-hop adventure when challenged with the slightly harrowing task of downing something like 6 beers and climbing Sprayathon.

Here's to you Dan.

Thanks to Andrew B. for the vid.

C-note's Monday Rant

2008-05-19T13:22:00.003-06:00

Here's a little humor to get you through your Monday. The video you are about to watch is fantastically funny. It got over a million hits in its first week on the web, just slightly less the pimpinandcrimpin..CHECK IT OUT!

So...

2008-05-19T07:36:00.002-06:00

Okay all, here was the deal with your adventure choice for us. As of friday afternoon Arnold and I were psyched and ready to go, we checked the weather and the black canyon looked less than promising. Sorry to burst your bubbles, but we decided to wait for a couple weeks before we forge ahead with poison ivy, ticks, rocks, etc. So, we met at the Golden City Brewery to discuss alternatives. The choice was Rifle and despite the lack of parking and the fact that I REALLY can't climb any of the routes there, we got psyched. As the evening progressed and we moved from the GCB to The Spot to Cass and Angela's, which always spells trouble, so did our weekend plans. We decided to head to the Poudre, take it easy on Saturday with some bouldering at the 420's and then camp and climb at the Crystal Wall, which I wrote about a couple weeks ago, on Sunday.

Well, as I woke up Saturday I was pretty sure that I was going to make it to the Poudre, in fact, I was a complete wreck. Damn. We lounged and changed plans again. The Monastery for Sunday. We actually went climbing! Yes, we had a good day, but windy day at the Monastery, which I thought was a fitting place to climb on a Sunday. So, this post is half apologetic half self loathing for being wrecked for saturday climbing. Oh, and by the way, I checked the weather for the Black during the afternoon on Saturday, PERFECT! I hate weathermen and myself. Until next time...

bronco

Letters of the week

2008-05-16T14:26:00.003-06:00

Pure Swagger (training with limit #1)
I train for alpinism by chugging a bottle of wine and running ten miles ... then, I train for sport climbing by vomiting at some point during the run
-Andrew Bisharat, Carbondale, CO

Wig: I have nothing to say to this.
Bronco: Damn, I was doing it all wrong.
Limit: Sounds miserable. But I guess that's alpinism.
C-Note: I have to admit, it makes sense. Alcohol kills the pain of running and vomiting makes you lighter. I'll try it and get back to you...

Nastiness Incarnate
I love your blogs, fellas. Two complaints, could you please blog more. I check my email every morning in hopes of a new post. They just don't come enough. Also, please show more tits in the pictures that you post along with the blogs. You have a large male audience, I will guestimate, and we want to see tits. Big juicy ones. On climber sluts. Do it. Thanks, you guys do a great job. Keep is all coming....with more tits.

[P&C note: at this point we left the email without replying for a week or so because we simply didn't know what to say. then we received this]

I get no reply from you fucks? I idolize you all, at least reply.
-Ron Chee

Wig: Dude. issues...
Bronco: I hear you got a special present in the form of a video link. Hopefully, that will keep you satisfied for the time being.
Limit: You can thank me for that video. Kinky, no?

Ten Things I'd Rather Do: than alpine climbing

2008-05-16T14:25:00.000-06:00

1. Chug a bottle of wine with Andrew Bisharat, run 10 miles and throw up.
2. Throw up.
3. Belay Limit on a project that he and I both know he's never going to send.
4. Attempt an onsight solo of a dusty, loose, unnamed spire in the desert in the middle of the summer.
5. Have unprotected sex with Gene Simmons.
6. Read nothing but Joel Osteen for the rest of my life.
7. Boulder at Chandler Park
8. Teach a birthday group of eight-year-olds how to belay at a climbing gym
9. Throw up again.
10. Have mono.

Email Mishaps

2008-05-16T07:56:00.002-06:00

Apologies all around to those of you that were receiving a head's up email everytime we posted, we have taken everyone off the list. It seems that people were receiving very rough drafts of things not published yet. Assuming that there was some internal problem at blogger.com, we chose to take everyone off just to be safe. Thanks for reading and spread the word.

Ciao,

Bronco

Wig's Werd #1: Trials and Tribulations

2008-05-15T16:38:00.004-06:00

Since I've been living in NYC I have seen some fucked up shit.
Usually I would try to describe this "shit" more eloquently using words I had to look up in a dictionary because I'm not smart enough to think them up myself. I'd paint the idea intellectually and effectively using all the little tricks I've learned about writing. I'd use metaphors and similes, alliteration, rhyming and maybe even onomatopoeia (though I doubt it). Unfortunately this couldn't possibly provide an adequate description. I racked my mostly empty skull and "fucked up shit" is about the only phrase that's accurate. I mean, this is the type of shit you see and you say, "Man, that is fucked up."

For example I watched 6 trannies exit the backseat of a small compact car screaming and hollering about tranny things (penises/vaginas/peniginas/how fierce they were). This same evening I watched a manwoman dressed as Barbara Bush perform public fellatio on a man who had just been walking around the venue completely naked. This would be status quo if you were at a place where people were supposed to be naked. This place however was a place where everyone had their clothes on. I was walking to a bar in Brooklyn when we came across a young woman doing the splits on a park bench with her skirt pulled up around her neck and urinating all over the ground below her. This was slightly normal only because it's not too uncommon to find yourself stepping over a homeless man who's pee stream has soaked though his pants and flowed down the sidewalk into the street. I even just heard a story of a flasher who, at the very last minute before the subway doors closed, revealed himself to everyone inside the subway car. They closed but opened up again because someone (or something...) got stuck in the doors somewhere else on the car. While they remained open, our flasher friend, motionless and obviously stunned by his luck, was struck multiple times by an old lady with an umbrella. This type of thing apparently happens every day here.

It's odd to be sure, and to be perfectly clear I could have gone all my life without seeing some of this. In Oklahoma, where I'm from. This does not happen. Well. I'm sure it does but you have to actively search for it and you have to search hard. Here you merely have to walk down the street and it'll be there just waiting quietly to catch you off your guard and permanently burn into your mind the memory of something you never thought even existed.

This would get me down and did actually for the first few months I was here. You can only take so much of this madness before it breaks your mind into more than the single piece in which it was given to you. I recall a phone conversation I had with Andrew Bisharat while walking through the city to find a subway (because as it were I was constantly lost). I remember telling him this city had me on guard at every step for fear of getting mugged or killed by surly individuals. I said I was ready at a moments notice to punch any man woman or child straight in the face and then crush their esophagus with the force of my climbers fingers. I have played this out in my head at least a thousand times. Soon after in an email he sent me offering advice on some job opportunities he casually wrote "You could just move to Golden. If you're at the point where you want to hit people, do you really want to continue living somewhere that makes you feel like that?"

I thought about this a lot. I didn't take his advice (though experience is proving him correct in a majority of his assumptions and conjectures). I stayed. Worked things out. Eventually things got better. They got better when I realized I wasn't doing anything but walking around feeling sorry for myself. I started going to the climbing gym five times a week. I met everyone there I could and forced them to be my friend (which if you know me I tend to do--you'll have no choice). I finally had people to relate to. I could talk about the origins of the V scale and people knew what I was saying. No one was giving blow jobs in public at the climbing gym. I felt like this was exponentially improving my NYC experience.

It dawned on me then that climbers have this life shit figured out. That's not to say we understand what we are doing here (in the ethereal, origin of the universe sense) or what we will do here (in the intangible, future minded, career oriented sense), or even how we are supposed to do things here (in the morally responsible sense). We climbers know simply what we want to do with our free time. Not only that, but we know that we want as much possible free time to do it. No non-climber will understand this. I say non-climber and mean the people who aren't completely devoted to the whole ethos surrounding Climbing (capital C). They can't figure out why we would take lackluster jobs, neglect significant others, starve or sleep in cars or the dirt all so we can rip our fingers and feet into little pulpy nubs just to get to the top of rocks only to stand up and walk down the backside of the cliff and do it again.

I suspect that we (as a whole) do not know that answer either. It's undefinable, and that's okay by us so long as we don't have to stop climbing. Explaining this is like describing string theories to preschoolers. No one is interested in why a degenerate bunch of bohemians run around trenchantly pawing up the sides of rocks. This doesn't bother me. I'm usually not interested in anything that can't be quantified with a 5 or a V in front of it, and it brings me comfort that I'm not the only person in New York that unrelentingly clings to this notion. To me, it's the subtle difference between being fucked up shit and being the shit, and it's a difference I appreciate more every day.

Whiskey Wednesday Report

2008-05-15T11:37:00.009-06:00

Both Bronco and I have jobs that let us work outside. Usually this is great, especially because you get random days of because of shitty weather. This, however is a mixed blessing. Weather being the unpredictable animal it is, we usually have a good feeling that we'll have say, Thursday off because the weatherman has predicted almost guaranteed rain. But nothing is certain till 7 am when you get a call from the boss. This basically means you have two options for midweek drinking. Either wait till you actually have the day off for certain and get drunk in the middle of the day (fun but it gets old) or gamble with your fate, go out to Whiskey Wednesday, and pray to everything that was ever holy that it actually pisses rain the next day. Usually, the last option works out. But it's a bit like playing Russian roulette.

Last night is a case in point.

7PM. Adam gets home.
Me: "Adam, you working tomorrow?"
Adam: "yeah, why?"
Me: "I think it's supposed to rain all day. Wanna go to Whiskey Wednesday?"
Adam: "Uhm. ... Why the fuck not?"
7-9:30PM Shower. Eat. Primp. Blog.
10:00PM Park near Perl street.
10:20PM. Whiskey Wednesday round 1. Toast to Sean.
10:35PM Whiskey Wednesday round 2. Toast to sean. Wish Andrew were here. Wish Cass had come. Smoke cigarettes.
10:50PM Whiskey Wednesday round 3. Play darts. We're getting drunk. We comment on how the Sundowner seems to attract the fattest people in Boulder. There are fat guys. And fat girls. We leave.
11:00PM It's still raining. We smoke a cigarette.
11:10PM We enter Bacaro and get Vodka tonics. We sit down near the dance floor. There's is hardly anybody here but at least the people present aren't as fat as the Downer crowd. We talk about Rifle, the Black Canyon, dildos, and whether we are drunk enough to start drunk texting. We start drunk texting.
11:25PM Out of nowhere this girl I've never seen drags me to the dance floor. She was no part time model, but at least she was thinner that the fat people we were complaining about. I also think she was on speed because she kept jumping up and down like she was in a mosh pit. I nickname her Jumping Jack girl.
11:45PM We smoke a cigarette with Jumping Jack girl and get introduced to her Obese friend.
11:46PM It's still raining. We leave for 'Round Midnight. Jumping Jack girl and her Obese Friend follow us. Adam decides I should hook with Jumping Jack girl and does an admirable job of wingman and starts hitting on and dancing with Obese Friend. I have an epiphany and realize that Jumping Jack Girl is playing wing women for Obese Friend.
12:30PM Obese Girl is grinding on Adam. She is hittin' the floor and she is happy. Adam looks really bored. And borderline disgusted. Jumping Jack girl is jumping up and down in front of somebody else. We leave.
12:30-1AM We dance at Bacaro.
1AM-1:40AM We dance at Round Midnight.
1:45AM We leave the bar. It's still raining, which is good. We are fucked up, which is also good. We don't have a place to crash, which is bad. We order Humdingers (a Gyro with humus) which makes us feel happy. We smoke a cigarette and stumble to the parking garage.
2:00AM It's still raining. We fall asleep in my car.
5:30AM. I wake up. It's not raining. There is sunshine outside.
6:15AM. I start driving. It's still not raining.
6:20AM. Adam gets a text message from his boss. "Fucking shit. I have to work in 2 hours."