Oh..Dub!

Oh my freakin dub. Yours truly has peered into the dark dark world of the offwidth and has seen things that no sport climber should witness. Lungs bursting, elbows flaming, ankle skin tearing, big bro placing, gaging, kicking, screaming and swearing was the scene at Poland Hill in Vedauwoo, Wyoming yesterday as I tried to sell my soul to the gods of offwidth...My first route ever at the Woo, Fantasia 5.9+, was not a pretty sight, except for my vintage blue with lime green tubing Western apparel. You haven't witnessed something so awkward since the last episode of the Office. I don't know if I've ever felt more relief topping out a route as I did this 60 foot 5.9! Offwidth is like fighting a grizzly bear in a pool filled with melted butter, there's no strategy in a death-match from hell!

This first pic is starting the route, I was not this enthusiastic during my 45 minute epic! I now respect the wideness and those masochistic bastards that dabble in this dark art.

The other pics include the Masters of Offwidth couple Jason and Ellie getting dirty on The Desiderata and Darren Mabe on Pyschoshop.

Anyway, the woo was fun, here are some pics from my route and a small OW bouldering session this afternoon. Enjoy.







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Sexual Plastic

Here at P&C we have our minds permanently fixed to dirtiest part of the gutter, and since I've been drinking Screwdrivers since nooooon and it's 3:30 in NYC so i thought this was an appropriate time to post this. We want to start a new section called sexual plastic. We've all thought it. We've all seen it. Climbing holds are occasionally shaped like sexual organs. Now. It might be because we're all too sexually pent up to deal with those issues outside the climbing gym, but who cares. These are hysterical. If you find a hold out there that's particularly sexual, send it to us! We'll post it up! We all know you have camera phones and fancy things like that. So lets get you contributing.

also there is nothing after the jump...
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Wine and Cheese

The Poor man's Reisling and Gouda....
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24HHH

It's finally here again! 24 Hours of Horseshoe Hell!!! For those of you not familiar with the event, here's how it goes down: You get a totally awesome partner and name your team something. I hear the "Murky Brown Pantloaders" will be a force to be reckoned with this year, and I've heard weirder team names like "The Coming Out Party".Anyway after that you stock up on essentials like energy drinks and cigarettes. Join the rest of the teams at Horseshoe Canyon Ranch, and when they say "go" you go try to climb as many routes as you can for a full 24 hours. This isn't namby pampy top roping either. We're talking full on LEAD CLIMBING SPORT ROUTES! You know the kind of stuff you only see Dave Graham doing or the artist formerly known as Prince Sharma.

There's more though. If you don't want to do that you can just volunteer. Supposedly there are going to be parties and free food and live music and even a photo contest. OH! and if I remember correctly...THEY GAVE AWAY BEER. For that reason alone I am driving all the way from New York just reunite with that sweet man nectar. That sounded gross.

Another thing. This, I believe will be P&C's first official event. With any luck a majority if not all of us will be there and with a little more luck we'll have free shit to hand out like P&C t-shirts and with even more luck you'll be blessed enough to catch a glimpse of us, share a gurt or even give us a beer. In any instance I highly recommend you be there for the climbing event of the year. There is a competitor cap, so if you want to get involved to to this website right now and register. For real. Or contact them and tell them you want to volunteer.

See you in HELL.

No need to click through there's nothing but naked pictures of Bronco after the jump.
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Crag Exposure: Ten Sleep Canyon

WARNING: with blue and grey streaked walls so steep and pockets so small you may spontaneously blurt out phrases in French. People have been shot for much less in this part of Wyoming. For the goodies on TS hit the jump now!

Giddy Up! The Wild West comes alive in Ten Sleep, Wyoming. From local Outlaws to Saloons to wide open vistas, Ten Sleep is the O.K. Corral of the Climbing world. Far from the "Scene" of Rifle, Ten Sleep is a much more relaxed destination. With so much rock, some developed and some awaiting development, it will make you want to slap your mama and say your favorite expletive! Sorry ma, I really don't want to slap you.


This delightful Dolomite canyon has seen most of it's concentrated activity from the mid to late nineties to the present. TS is a great destination crag for those of you that need or want more elbow room than you local crag. With 20+ walls and more on the way, TS is quickly becoming a must do on the would be Western Climber's road trip itinerary. If you can't make the TS this season, plan on a little known climber's festival held there over the Fourth of July holiday next year. The festival has been growing in popularity the last few years and should be a darn tootin good time.

The Scene: Boys, don't expect to saddle up a cragging filly in cute little boulder booty shorts, you're more likely to see or rein in a dame that looks like she just hog-tied a goat and milked it. Exceptions do exist, like this chica in the photos, but I think she's taken. Girls, watch yourselves at the crag, hungry female-starved males are lurking in the shadows, seriouslyHowever, if you are going to Ten Sleep for Rock Climbing, then you are in luck! There are plenty O'Rocks to climb and it's fun too.


Ten Sleep's crags are around 50 miles west of Buffalo, Wyoming. This is where you need to stock up on the essentials. There is an Outdoor/Sporting store in Buffalo that sells things like Ropes, Petzl draws, and harnesses, but don't expect to get them cheap. Also, Buffalo is where you lose cell phone service for the next hundred miles west, so make your calls.

Before you go, you should probably buy the Ten Sleep guidebook, even though some of the info is incorrect, it's still very useful in navigating your way around. Aaron Huey is the author and you can click here to find out where to purchase. Camping is free and pretty darn abundant on the Old Highway. If you are looking for more luxurious accomadations, there is a campground a few miles up canyon from the crag. Okay okay, here's the shit you really want to know.

Must Do's:

1. Beer Bong 5.10, although I didn't get on this route, I assume it's the area's most heavily traveled climb.
2. Save the Best For Last 5.11 (Wall of Denial), climbs next to an ice cave that is seriously 20 to 30 degrees cooler than the outside temps. Great route!
3. Circus in the Wind 5.11 b/c (Circus Wall), classic 5.11!
4. Sleight of Hand 5.12a (Dry Wall), long and sustained, like most 12a's in TS.
5. Great White Behemoth 5.12b (Supereratic Wall), top three sport pitches I have ever been on! Worth the seven our drive to do this route and visit this wall!
6. Happiness in Slavery 5.12b (Slavery), Classic 12b climbing on pockets and edges. An area favorite.
7. Center El Shinto 5.12b (French Cattle Ranch), I can't say the word sick enough! French Cattle Ranch and Supereratic walls are two of the best looking sport walls out there!
8. Circus in My Pants 5.12d (Circus Wall), great route with the gaston mono-pocket! Sustained and awesome!
9. Exo-Atmospheric Kill Vehicle, aka EKV, 5.12c (Slavery), Pumpy, sustained, great!
10. Burden of Immortality 5.13a (Slavery), check the rope length! Long and cruxy.
11. Hellion 5.13c (Supereratic), Gorgeous is all I have to say!
12. Sky Pilot 5.13+ (French Cattle Ranch). Pretty much, do any route you can at this area!
13. Several 14 projects that need to be cleaned up for those of you that like monos, micro crimps, and long moves on steep rock!

Ten Sleep is legit! If you happen to run into some of the local yokal climbers such as Kevin or Alli, they are super-cool and will be happy to give you any updated beta on the area as well as direct you to the best that Ten Sleep has to offer. So, pack your rigs and head to Wyoming where the Ice Cream is as creamy and dreamy as the Dolomite!!
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Internet!

The Golden half of P&C has FINALLY broke down and purchased our very own internet connection. Be on the lookout for a flurry of posts! In fact, coming within the next couple days, the Photo Me Contest is finally resolved! Ten Sleep Canyon Crag Exposure, and much more.
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P&C cooking school: staples

Now I realize that Bronco just dropped some serious health knowledge on you all recently with his 3-tein diet plan. While his nutritional knowledge is only rivaled innovators such as Dr. Atkins and Dr. SouthBeachDiet, I feel the need to expand a little on what a daily diet should look like. I just went to the grocery store and picked out a few of the things that have kept me strong and cranking. Feast your eyes (and empty stomachs) on Wig's super secret recipe and grocery list!



Well first I suppose you need to know what to get once you get to the store. Focus on getting the manliest of staples. Bread, cheese, hotdogs, chips and beer. I also got a few extras and by extras I mean two boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (the one and the only blue box). Now as you can see from the photo I bought two different boxes--spirals and white cheddar. The spirals are for me. I think all macaroni tastes better when it's not just simple elbows of pasta. I bought the white cheddar box in case I have a hot date and need to cook something fancy. Since I'm just living on couches at friends houses now I thought this would be safe since everyone has water, milk and butter.

Now, onto the super secret.

STEP ONE: Buy this shit at the grocery store.

As you can see these are a part of the staples I told you to buy earlier. Now I know there are higher priced meats and cheeses out there, this guarantees a svelte figure for an already svelte wallet. These three things cost me $4.50. I sang and air guitared the Free-bird solo for four minutes on the corner and was ready to buy lunch (post on busking to come at later date). Anyway, get these.

STEP TWO: Put this shit together.

We aren't even done and it already looks delicious! This is simple, but I'll spell it out since lately I've been needing to do that. Put a piece of bread down first. Place a hot dog on the piece of bread. Put a slice of cheese on top of the hot dog. Limit will sometimes put the cheese underneath the hot dog but I told him that was unAmerican. He didn't argue with me.

STEP THREE: Put this shit in the microwave, and pull this shit out of the microwave.

Put the medley of deliciousness into the microwave and turn it on for 30 seconds. More and it will be too hot. Less and the hot dog won't be cooked. Trust me because when you pull it out it shouldn't look too much different than it did when you put it in. That's because we are using high quality mass produced consumer goods here. That's how to tell if it's good. Just trust me.

STEP FOUR: Add this other shit to it.

I added chips and beer to the mix. That's because I like chips, and I also like beer. You'll see that there is a PBR on that napkin (also don't buy plates--plates are for weak people). I buy PBR because it's the cheapest six-pack at the store. There was one six-pack that was a dollar cheaper (some Old Mil). I bought it once and drank six of them and wondered why I wasn't yelling for no reason. I looked at the can I was holding and found out it was non-alcoholic beer. I now stick to what I know.


I hope this little lesson in the culinary arts sticks with each and every one of you. I started Bronco on this diet and he top rope his first 5.7+ last week. Just think of the jumps in performance you can make! Next time on P&C cooking school Limit will teach you his famous camping burrito recipe and other time honored Ramen noodle tricks.




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Drunk!

Sober-->Drunk

definitely click below to check out the rest.




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Cute Climber Girl of the Week: Laura Griffiths

Alright everyone! Cute Climber Girl of the Week is BACK!!! Get psyched for la femmes that la crush! First up for the reunion tour is a special new friend to P&C who I spotted on complainingfrommycomfyarm- chair.com. After a month waiting for her response I found out she's the only girl that can keep D. Woods' attention and she warned me that if I made her look like an idiot she'd send him to crimp me to death. I think I believe her. Anyway, click through for interview and more photos!

Name: Laura Jade Griffiths
Age: 19
Current location: Seems to be ever changing, currently, the basement of Daniel’s soon to be Los Angeles then Palo Alto
Hometown: Born in London, England, but I’ve lived in 18 houses in 19 years so it gets a bit confusing!


What’s your favorite cheese?
Sharp cheddar cheese (from Costco!!!)
Wow, simple.
...and cheap but sooo good.
What were you doing in South Africa so recently?
Climbing all the boulders, playing with baboons and hiding from snakes. actually reverse that order
How long were you there?
Seven weeks. Well, five weeks there loving life and two drowning in rain and sulking.
There could be worse places to be rained on I suppose.
No its the worst! It is without a doubt the best bouldering in the world so sitting there in the rain is like being in a candy store on a diet!
Bummer! So you're a boulderer then. Don't do the routes too much?
I started out route climbing once upon a time, did all the junior comps then discovered how much easier bouldering was, and my lazy side took over! Plus lead climbing outside terrifies me! I know that’s not cool to say or whatever, but it does. It’s weird because I like highballs and went bungee jumping, but something about not knowing how far you fall freaks me out.
So Longmont...Woods family’s basement...heading up to the park much?
Yeah I love the park. I’ve spent some time there for the last three summers
Any big sends out there recently?
I’m keeping the sends on the DL right now. When I do and document something that defies any skepticism I may tell people, but for right now I think people get too critical and competitive. It’s more fun to just climb for me and the people closest to me and not risk other people taking away from my happiness with any negativity...yeah! Is Daniel really a cool dude or is there something undeniably sweet and mushy gushy he's done for you recently we can all bring up when we see him next?
Haha Daniel is amazing. Hmm…Yesterday on the hike up to Evans he picked all the different flowers on the hike and when we got to the Dali Wall he made me a bouquet. And he makes me breakfast in bed!
Breakfast in bed?! You must be a good girlfriend.
The best. He still hasn’t given me his super powers, though. I’m holding out for those.
Let me know when you get them and then teach me how. What else do you do aside from climb?
I surf, dance, take photos and try to live in denial about the fact I start school again in September! Oh, and I make sure Daniel doesn’t get lost or lose things.
School! What are you majoring in?
Probably international relations geared towards photojournalism, but in my mind I’m hoping I get do that by taking classes in underwater basket weaving or finger painting 101!
Have you been watching the Olympics?
Yeah we have been watching every night when get back from climbing.
What has been your favorite thing to watch so far?
Daniel and I like to watch the gymnastics. He just likes it when they fall though! the slow motion replay like when that guy slipped of the rings last night. I like to watch the girls gymnastics, they are so teeny tiny and so strong! I could never do that. Have you read that book little girls in pretty boxes? They start training at age 3 or 4. I need rest days and junk food!
Who is the most inspiring female climber you know?
Robyn Erbesfield by far. Also Andrea Szekely. Robyn is so mentally strong and she is still the most internationally successful female American climber,but from climbing with her when I was younger you see that although she is obviously really physically strong she has pushed herself even further through mental strength and confidence. And Andrea is s good friend of mine, she is so dedicated, and somehow manages to balance so many things and excel in them all.
What was the last good book you read?
The Kite Runner. Someone brought it to South Africa.
I’ve heard that’s a good one.
But it’s terrible, since I’ve been out of school this last year I have been reading so much trashy chick lit. This was the exception recently. Yeah, it’s amazing
Any last words?
Live in the moment and go to the Rocklands! Oh and I want to tell the best joke ever, though it is super old. Why was six afraid of seven?
…
Because 7 8 9!





Lots of these pictures are by Susanica Tam. You should really pay her a visit. She's totally kick ass.



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Seurat!

  

                

"Seurat" is a big beautiful seam on a boulder hidden in the alpine meadows of Mt. Evans, Colorado. It's also my arch nemesis. From the first moment I saw Seurat, I wanted to climb it. But my dreams were crushed when I simultaneously pulled on and and face planted on the slab. Repeatedly. My foot kept popping. So, since I hate climbing this problem but love looking at it, I figured it would make the perfect little step by step with Alex Puccio—one of the coolest climbing chicas around. (She also just snagged first at the comp in SLC this past weekend.) Check out the other photos of Alex finessing this aesthetically awkward Mt. Evans classic after the jump. Cheers!

 

 

 

                          

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Joe Kinder and Sebastian Hatt

Nelson sent us a video last week and I have no idea why it hasn't been posted yet. Anyway click more to watch it. It's excellent.
Joe kinder on Mr hatt the best climber ever from Nelson Carayannis on Vimeo.
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A few photos

Amanda Berezowski is a P&C staple. We like her. She was our first Cute Climbing Girl of the Week (which I assure you all has not gone anywhere, but I only know so many cute girls so really you all need to be hitting me up with ideas. Email to pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com). Anyway, she sent me a couple buildering pictures last week and I wanted to post them. Just a little eye candy for you after the jump.


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XXIX Olympiad

Oh the Olympics. They are on and they make me feel good. I like watching Michael Phelps kick ass. We are all amazed because he's breaking world records and winning gold medals at age 23, but don't forget that those world records are likely his and he probably did them in the last Olympics (maybe) which was four years ago. I'm psyched to watch Misty May play volleyball in the sand and Logan Tom indoors (I'm just a man). Hell, I even enjoyed watching Dalhausser and Rogers ('cept when they lost to Latvia (who the fuck is Latvia?)). I really liked seeing our gymnasts do some good even though everyone seems to be hurt on both the dudes and girls teams. I watched syncronized diving when we didn't place and women's fencing when we swept the podium (fencing is awwwkward). Basically I like America. I think we are pretty cool.

I confessed to a friend the other day that a new Budweiser commercial got me a little choked up. There are all these good 'ol 'Murkan people doing good 'ol Merican working class things. Like drinking beer and farming. Then it breaks into some fancy stuff and I just thought man, I like America, and I like freedom bomb Budweisers! My friend gently reminded me that Budweiser just got bought by Belgium beer giant InBev, but whatever. I didn't much care. I realized every man has his price. Our men's sand volleyball team members are both wearing Oakley frames in each of their matches. Oakley frames that don't have lenses in them... which is about the only thing the terrible announcers can focus on it seems in their games. This year's Olympics are being held in the most elaborate collection of stadiums and arenas (read expensive) had the most elaborate opening ceremonies (also read expensive) and probably has some of the richer young people in the world that do nothing swim, run, play basketball (Go Redeem Team 2008), or play beach volleyball etc. This to me is awesome. These are my heroes. Not because they are all younger than me and already accomplished much more than me , but because people like Michael Phelps figured out how to do nothing but eat, sleep, play videogames, and occasionally break a world record swimming a few lengths of a pool. This is what I'm looking to do (except not swimming). As much as I'd like for P&C here to be paying the bills, it's most definitely not. And neither is climbing for that matter, which mostly may be due to the fact that I'm an average climber at best on the grand scale of things. Not that I expect any of that to pay me any money. I'm just sayin'.

Actually, I just reread what I just wrote and I have no idea where I'm going with this post. I think I just wanted to write about the Olympics in Red China. Also I may or may not be drunk at this very moment. Happy Olympics everyone.

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Peter Mortimer: The Interview

You've seen Peter Mortimer's films. I assure you that you liked them. I know because they were great films. Well he's about to drop another one for us. It's called Sharp End. I sat down at watched the trailer a few nights ago and I thought SHIT. This is going to be awesome. Some completely legit shredding of the gnargnar.

Anyway I got to sit down and chat with Pete about the new film, his love of scary shit and whatever other nonsense I could think to ask him. Interview, tons of pictures and Sharp End movie trailer after the jump.

Peter Mortimer
All photos by Caroline Treadway (C-Note)

Tell me a little about Sharp End your newest little project.
We started with the concept of tying into the sharp end – going for it, putting yourself in the situation where you are laying it on the line for the fleeting moment of glory. But really what we're interested in is people doing dangerous shit for basically no reward except your own ego and if you do it in front of a girl maybe getting laid. So the film is an investigation of the people who do the craziest, stupidest most badass shit in the climbing world. We have some insane footage. It covers everything from hard trad to headpoints to highball boulders to alpine style first ascents to free soloing to freebase, etc. It’s definitely our most rambunctious film yet.
That sounds fucking excellent!
I think its gonna be badass, we've captures some crazy stupid shit.
I can't imagine. Do you get nervous filming stuff like that? I mean I remember watching Return to Sender and seeing Renan solo Lighting Bolt Cracks does that not just make you squirm.
Shooting soloing is fully hairball, and aside from the fact that I am completely drawn to it I wouldn’t do it. I’m not drawn to it as a climber, I mean, I am but I solo like 5.7 on a good day. For Sharp End we shot Steph Davis soloing on the Diamond and soloing and base-jumping off of Castleton. She is climbing solid 5.10 and 11 cracks, just totally locked in.
Right, I remember hearing about this a while ago Bronco went up with Steph to the Diamond and then he found out like 2 weeks later she had soloed it with you and he was like well fuck me sideways, I was used for reconnaissance.
Used and abused.
I also remember hearing a little Eldo filming happening.
Yeah we've been shooting a bunch of the new stuff in Eldo. That’s where I learned to climb and it’s still my favorite placed to punt around so I try to shoot there as much as possible. There’s been some good energy on a few of the hard headpoints and trad lines this year.
I've heard rumors. How did you come upon the sharp end theme, do you conceptualize before hand get some ideas together or just start filming whatever is going on and go with it? I mean is headpointing hot right now or is doing scary shit going to be hot when you finish this film?
This one is conceptualized. We brainstormed lots of ideas, etc, but then we were like what are we really interested in? What is the coolest shit to watch? Well, it’s the dangerous stuff, the stuff that really means something when you do it. Stuff that’s not just an athletic accomplishment, but that rocks your entire soul and forced you to look at why you do this shit. I mean that’s really what climbing is about right?
Absolutely. So did everyone make it out alive and (mostly) unscathed from this last one? Are there any good horror stories?
Alive? Yes. Unscathed. No. Lots of falls, bruises, crushed egos. We did a trip to the Czech Republic with some of the most badass trad climbers in the world, and there you have to place knots and you can't use chalk and it was wonderful to watch these titans cry like little babies. They also did some rad sending, but they did their fair share of crying, whining and excuse making.
Segal a part of that crew? I feel like he just mentioned that.
Peter Mortimer: Yeah, Segal was there. He was awesome to have on the trip because he –well, I think he admits it – got his ass kicked there a bit (he also sent some rad climbs), but he really looked at himself and said damn I have a lot to learn and I want to master runout off widths and on sighting with no chalk and no idea where I'm going. He had a great attitude that was really inspiring. Keep in mind Segal did the first ascent of what I believe is one of the hardest natural lines in the world [Iron Monkey], which is still unrepeated. Matt Wilder was just working on it and he didn’t send and he’s been sending everything. Sonnie came through and ran up everything but didn’t send it. It’s the real deal. I did watch Daniel Woods top rope on it and he could do the move pretty quickly but he wasn’t into the gear side of it
What's the most inspiring climbing you've filmed or been apart of filming?
Peter Mortimer: Hmm that’s a tough one let me think for a second. It’s always the last thing I’ve been doing. Watching Chris DWS in Mallorca was amazing. He was so in his element there. Is that the most inspiring? I don’t know...
Speaking of Chris, what was harder, hanging off the side of a cliff for countless hours while he lobbed off the hardest DWS in the world or y our hardest gear redpoint?
My hardest gear redpoint for sure. Shooting is easy. It’s fun. It’s all about just being in position and capturing these amazing feats. Redpointing hard gear routes is fucking tough.
Agreed. Who's been the most pleasant climber to work with?
Honestly everyone is cool to work with. I've become really good friends with a lot of the climbers through filming them. I feel really lucky that way. People stay at our place when they come through. They drop by the office to look at footage. I feel like I am part of a cool community and I feel really lucky like that. My girlfriend and parents are always like, god you have so many cool friends and I say yeah it’s because I film climbers. I love the Yosemite Monkeys and I love the Colorado trad guys. Renan Ozturk is probably the coolest most inspiring person you could meet.
How much of the time are you on the road?
Comes and goes. We did two months in Europe this spring then back here editing since June. I'm flying to the Eiger on Wednesday for the final shot of Sharp End, but otherwise around a bit these days.
So when does Sharp End premier? Reel Rock Tour?
September 10th is the world premier in Boulder, but there are actually a couple showings before that in Vancouver and Squamish. Then we are doing like 100 shows around the world this year.
That is killer.
Yeah, we are psyched.
Is there anything else you'd like P&C's readers to know?
Yes. But it'll have to wait for the next round. I still have lots of spraying to do.

TRAILER: I had trouble loading the video click here for the trailer on Pete's site


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