Saturday, May 31, 2008
Numero Uno. I am frickin psyched today, I sent my project at Primo Wall!!! First rattle out of the box this morning I cruised and how sweet it is. So, onward and upward I go, in search for another obsession.
Numero Dos. Our friend and climbing colleague Les Warnock has arrived in town with a vengeance. The kid has been here for like a week or so and is freaking crushing routes. A boulderer by trade, Les is amped for sport routes during his summer stay in. Even after taking some time off before he got here and with his limited sissy bouldering endurance, Les has dispatched with Sucking My Will to Live 12c, Ken Tanks 12c (second attempt), and Ten Digit Dialing 12c! Psyched to see where this leads.
Numero Tres. This week, for all Front Rangers, or those planning on coming, Dosage V Premieres at the Boulder Theater on Wed night, eight o'clock! Be there or be stupid. After party at Bacaro! For those of you that don't make it I will be writing an amazing review, there's your bone.
Numero Quatro. It's summer!
Photo: Les Warnock crushing something hard in the durty durty!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Good Wednesday Folks! Hope all is well in your corner of the globe and hope you get out and drink a little sourmash tonight. Whiskey Wednesday toasts are reserved for special people and special groups of people. These folks may have achieved something extraordinary, survived something harrowing, look good, or just did something stinking cool. This week's toast is no exception. Even though the recipient of this weeks toast won't be able to legally consume adult beverages for another 6 years, we will raise our glasses anyhow.
Adam Ondra, the Czech wiz kid, wasn't even born yet when the groundbreaking Action Directe (9a or 14d) was established by the late great Wolfgang Gullich. However, this little Eastern Bloc Gromette has once again wondered us with unsightly feats of awesomeness! To date, Ondra has climbed 9 routes 14d or HARDER!!! Oh yeah, he's 15. Now I know what most of you are saying, 'oh he won't be pulling that hard when he grows up and puts weight on.' Well, whether he does or doesn't, this kid is badass right now, just to have the technical prowess to climb a route like Action is amazing. Plus, that's what everyone said about Sharma when he did Necessary Evil at 16, I think Chris is still doing pretty well in his man-body. Here's to another Adam, one that can actually crush. Cheers Czech phenom boy, can't wait to see what your future holds.
Photo courtesy of Czechclimbing.com
Peep the Vid of AO sending Action Directe on Euroclimbing.com
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I heard about Banksy several months ago on the tele (that's my british vernacular). I was crusing the internet today and stumbled on some of his work. May I say, amazing! Satiracal, Insightful, and down right awesome. So, if you havn't heard of Banksy before check this out. If you click the link above you will be directed to Banksy's website. Enjoy.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
That's right there nigga, nigga I'm wild
Nigga I keep trash bags with me
Never know when you gotta dump a nigga out
This sin-surr, this some sin-surr SHIT right hurr!
-Threats, the Black Album (Jay-Z)
You're not ill, and if you are
My note pad's full of medicine
Plus my freestyle is Excederin
Take two rounds and call me back with a new style
And show me you're prepared for the final frontier
I spit like semi-automatic to the grill
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Oddly enough I can't get enough of all this. I love the internet. I think it's just wonderful and I've become quite adroit at navigating it with a speed and accuracy that's rivaled only by the designers of the search engines I use. My ability to quickly locate New York Magazine's naked pictures of Lindsey Lohan is beside the point though. This is about my problem. I have one. Only one of course. I am completely addicted to being apart of internet communities. Those terrible fickle people who comment on things with the poise and tact of a (barely) post-pubescent teenager who smokes PCP or crack in his spare time.
A quick list of dot-coms I have active accounts with:
gmail(3), oumail, yahoo, hotmail, facebook, myspace(2), flickr, photobucket, dopplr, linkedin, collegehumor, gawker, rockclimbing, mountainproject, blogspot, tumblr, wmcc, muxtape, atrium, eatstreetmeat, yourclimbing, rockandice, 8a, youtube, mediabistro, condenet, aim/ichat, skype, bancfirst, bank of america, stillwater national bank, moola, ebay, amazon, itunes, paypal, and countless retailers I've ordered online stuff from.
I am certain there are a few that I am missing but I don't care. Looking at that long list makes me sad enough. Thankfully friendster and xanga were never apart of that arsenal, but that doesn't make me feel much better. It's an odd relationship I have with the internet. It keeps changing its mood on me, and I have to always adapt to make our relationship work. It's simply not fair. If the internet was my girlfriend I would have told her to pack her bags a long time ago.
I know that's sort of an obvious place to (attempt) to take this considering this website is primarily about climbing, and I don't care because this is my wannabe-column and I can do whatever the hell I want. My hectic one-sided relationship with the internet makes me glad I have something like climbing.
Climbing is static. It's changes are subtle like the advent of revolutionary gear or top of the limit sends. This makes adjusting easy and not so frantic. Climbing is primal and simple. I don't even need anything to do it except a rock. I used to run cross-country and track. I liked that too because it's so damn pure. you don't even need shoes to run. You don't need anything but some kind of mostly horizontal surface. Climbing is on the other end as soon as the path gets too steep to run you start using your hands and viola! You're climbing. All you need to climb is a mostly vertical surface. It's simple. It's pure.
I realize that in this modern day we don't let climbing be that clean and pure. We have gear and shoes and ropes and bolts and anchors which is great. The base of climbing is still one of the simplest things ever. Plus I don't ever have to remember my password to rack up a set of cams instead of quickdraws.
I tried this route at our home crag last fall about 8 times and I got back on it after work yesterday. Psyched! New beta was thrown our way from Mister Matt Lloyd and I watched Derek piss all over the thing as I pulled up to the crag. The route, River Run, a super physical short route at Primo Wall. Probably the MOST physical route I have tried to date, but I got amped when I grunted my way through most of it and hit the crux pinch yesterday. It's mine, I can taste the success. Right now, totally obsessed! I found myself pantomiming as I worked today, that's lame, I know, but I can't help it. It's on manana after I get off work!
So share and share alike kids, let us know what you are up to.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
It's no wonder then that he would combine his awesome skills into one twisted hip-hop adventure when challenged with the slightly harrowing task of downing something like 6 beers and climbing Sprayathon.
Here's to you Dan.
Thanks to Andrew B. for the vid.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Well, as I woke up Saturday I was pretty sure that I was going to make it to the Poudre, in fact, I was a complete wreck. Damn. We lounged and changed plans again. The Monastery for Sunday. We actually went climbing! Yes, we had a good day, but windy day at the Monastery, which I thought was a fitting place to climb on a Sunday. So, this post is half apologetic half self loathing for being wrecked for saturday climbing. Oh, and by the way, I checked the weather for the Black during the afternoon on Saturday, PERFECT! I hate weathermen and myself. Until next time...
Friday, May 16, 2008
I train for alpinism by chugging a bottle of wine and running ten miles ... then, I train for sport climbing by vomiting at some point during the run
-Andrew Bisharat, Carbondale, CO
Wig: I have nothing to say to this.
Bronco: Damn, I was doing it all wrong.
Limit: Sounds miserable. But I guess that's alpinism.
C-Note: I have to admit, it makes sense. Alcohol kills the pain of running and vomiting makes you lighter. I'll try it and get back to you...
I love your blogs, fellas. Two complaints, could you please blog more. I check my email every morning in hopes of a new post. They just don't come enough. Also, please show more tits in the pictures that you post along with the blogs. You have a large male audience, I will guestimate, and we want to see tits. Big juicy ones. On climber sluts. Do it. Thanks, you guys do a great job. Keep is all coming....with more tits.
[P&C note: at this point we left the email without replying for a week or so because we simply didn't know what to say. then we received this]
I get no reply from you fucks? I idolize you all, at least reply.
Wig: Dude. issues...
Bronco: I hear you got a special present in the form of a video link. Hopefully, that will keep you satisfied for the time being.
Limit: You can thank me for that video. Kinky, no?
2. Throw up.
3. Belay Limit on a project that he and I both know he's never going to send.
4. Attempt an onsight solo of a dusty, loose, unnamed spire in the desert in the middle of the summer.
5. Have unprotected sex with Gene Simmons.
6. Read nothing but Joel Osteen for the rest of my life.
7. Boulder at Chandler Park
8. Teach a birthday group of eight-year-olds how to belay at a climbing gym
9. Throw up again.
10. Have mono.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Usually I would try to describe this "shit" more eloquently using words I had to look up in a dictionary because I'm not smart enough to think them up myself. I'd paint the idea intellectually and effectively using all the little tricks I've learned about writing. I'd use metaphors and similes, alliteration, rhyming and maybe even onomatopoeia (though I doubt it). Unfortunately this couldn't possibly provide an adequate description. I racked my mostly empty skull and "fucked up shit" is about the only phrase that's accurate. I mean, this is the type of shit you see and you say, "Man, that is fucked up."
For example I watched 6 trannies exit the backseat of a small compact car screaming and hollering about tranny things (penises/vaginas/peniginas/how fierce they were). This same evening I watched a manwoman dressed as Barbara Bush perform public fellatio on a man who had just been walking around the venue completely naked. This would be status quo if you were at a place where people were supposed to be naked. This place however was a place where everyone had their clothes on. I was walking to a bar in Brooklyn when we came across a young woman doing the splits on a park bench with her skirt pulled up around her neck and urinating all over the ground below her. This was slightly normal only because it's not too uncommon to find yourself stepping over a homeless man who's pee stream has soaked though his pants and flowed down the sidewalk into the street. I even just heard a story of a flasher who, at the very last minute before the subway doors closed, revealed himself to everyone inside the subway car. They closed but opened up again because someone (or something...) got stuck in the doors somewhere else on the car. While they remained open, our flasher friend, motionless and obviously stunned by his luck, was struck multiple times by an old lady with an umbrella. This type of thing apparently happens every day here.
It's odd to be sure, and to be perfectly clear I could have gone all my life without seeing some of this. In Oklahoma, where I'm from. This does not happen. Well. I'm sure it does but you have to actively search for it and you have to search hard. Here you merely have to walk down the street and it'll be there just waiting quietly to catch you off your guard and permanently burn into your mind the memory of something you never thought even existed.
This would get me down and did actually for the first few months I was here. You can only take so much of this madness before it breaks your mind into more than the single piece in which it was given to you. I recall a phone conversation I had with Andrew Bisharat while walking through the city to find a subway (because as it were I was constantly lost). I remember telling him this city had me on guard at every step for fear of getting mugged or killed by surly individuals. I said I was ready at a moments notice to punch any man woman or child straight in the face and then crush their esophagus with the force of my climbers fingers. I have played this out in my head at least a thousand times. Soon after in an email he sent me offering advice on some job opportunities he casually wrote "You could just move to Golden. If you're at the point where you want to hit people, do you really want to continue living somewhere that makes you feel like that?"
I thought about this a lot. I didn't take his advice (though experience is proving him correct in a majority of his assumptions and conjectures). I stayed. Worked things out. Eventually things got better. They got better when I realized I wasn't doing anything but walking around feeling sorry for myself. I started going to the climbing gym five times a week. I met everyone there I could and forced them to be my friend (which if you know me I tend to do--you'll have no choice). I finally had people to relate to. I could talk about the origins of the V scale and people knew what I was saying. No one was giving blow jobs in public at the climbing gym. I felt like this was exponentially improving my NYC experience.
It dawned on me then that climbers have this life shit figured out. That's not to say we understand what we are doing here (in the ethereal, origin of the universe sense) or what we will do here (in the intangible, future minded, career oriented sense), or even how we are supposed to do things here (in the morally responsible sense). We climbers know simply what we want to do with our free time. Not only that, but we know that we want as much possible free time to do it. No non-climber will understand this. I say non-climber and mean the people who aren't completely devoted to the whole ethos surrounding Climbing (capital C). They can't figure out why we would take lackluster jobs, neglect significant others, starve or sleep in cars or the dirt all so we can rip our fingers and feet into little pulpy nubs just to get to the top of rocks only to stand up and walk down the backside of the cliff and do it again.
I suspect that we (as a whole) do not know that answer either. It's undefinable, and that's okay by us so long as we don't have to stop climbing. Explaining this is like describing string theories to preschoolers. No one is interested in why a degenerate bunch of bohemians run around trenchantly pawing up the sides of rocks. This doesn't bother me. I'm usually not interested in anything that can't be quantified with a 5 or a V in front of it, and it brings me comfort that I'm not the only person in New York that unrelentingly clings to this notion. To me, it's the subtle difference between being fucked up shit and being the shit, and it's a difference I appreciate more every day.
Last night is a case in point.
7PM. Adam gets home.
Me: "Adam, you working tomorrow?"
Adam: "yeah, why?"
Me: "I think it's supposed to rain all day. Wanna go to Whiskey Wednesday?"
Adam: "Uhm. ... Why the fuck not?"
7-9:30PM Shower. Eat. Primp. Blog.
10:00PM Park near Perl street.
10:20PM. Whiskey Wednesday round 1. Toast to Sean.
10:35PM Whiskey Wednesday round 2. Toast to sean. Wish Andrew were here. Wish Cass had come. Smoke cigarettes.
10:50PM Whiskey Wednesday round 3. Play darts. We're getting drunk. We comment on how the Sundowner seems to attract the fattest people in Boulder. There are fat guys. And fat girls. We leave.
11:00PM It's still raining. We smoke a cigarette.
11:10PM We enter Bacaro and get Vodka tonics. We sit down near the dance floor. There's is hardly anybody here but at least the people present aren't as fat as the Downer crowd. We talk about Rifle, the Black Canyon, dildos, and whether we are drunk enough to start drunk texting. We start drunk texting.
11:25PM Out of nowhere this girl I've never seen drags me to the dance floor. She was no part time model, but at least she was thinner that the fat people we were complaining about. I also think she was on speed because she kept jumping up and down like she was in a mosh pit. I nickname her Jumping Jack girl.
11:45PM We smoke a cigarette with Jumping Jack girl and get introduced to her Obese friend.
11:46PM It's still raining. We leave for 'Round Midnight. Jumping Jack girl and her Obese Friend follow us. Adam decides I should hook with Jumping Jack girl and does an admirable job of wingman and starts hitting on and dancing with Obese Friend. I have an epiphany and realize that Jumping Jack Girl is playing wing women for Obese Friend.
12:30PM Obese Girl is grinding on Adam. She is hittin' the floor and she is happy. Adam looks really bored. And borderline disgusted. Jumping Jack girl is jumping up and down in front of somebody else. We leave.
12:30-1AM We dance at Bacaro.
1AM-1:40AM We dance at Round Midnight.
1:45AM We leave the bar. It's still raining, which is good. We are fucked up, which is also good. We don't have a place to crash, which is bad. We order Humdingers (a Gyro with humus) which makes us feel happy. We smoke a cigarette and stumble to the parking garage.
2:00AM It's still raining. We fall asleep in my car.
5:30AM. I wake up. It's not raining. There is sunshine outside.
6:15AM. I start driving. It's still not raining.
6:20AM. Adam gets a text message from his boss. "Fucking shit. I have to work in 2 hours."
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
This weekend I went to a rave/techno dance party. I drank, I danced, I played with balloons and glow sticks did all the other shit you would expect from a proper rave. If you're from Berlin that probably sounds like a blast. I'm usually as psyched as the next girl about a good dance party and there is nothing I love more than a good dirty hip hop beat. The only thing I hate worse than Techno Rave/Ambient music is dancing to it. Now here's the thing. I go to dance clubs because I want to feel cool. And how cool can you feel cool dancing to a genre who's primary enthusiasts are smelly, sickly white Germans who haven't showered in weeks or cut their hair in years and look like they've just come from a 73 hour Would of Warcraft marathon session? And besides that the shit is monotonous, the repetitious and has three stuttering lyrics. And well, shit. Let's be honest here. What I really hate is the lack of bling. Honestly, a flash drive hanging from my neck? bitch pleze.
And when it comes down to it, that's why I love hip hop. It's not the beats or the baddass lyrics. I just love the bling. Diamonds, shoes, medallions, rings, grills and rock. How can you not love that?
Now just for the record, I don't think techno is entirely worthless. It does have one proper purpose--Hacking. I can't hack to save my life. But you play me some Prodigy, Orbital or some Underground, I'll could probably get you into the inner workings of the NSA. What techno is not good for is dancing. I don't give a shit how many flash drives you have.
This week's shout out shots of virtual sourmash are raised in the direction of our very own brother, friend and favorite asshole, Sean Dosset! This Irish bouldering dynamo has been kicking ass and taking names as of late. Sean's domain seems to be endless by establishing FA's throughout the state of Oklahoma. Give him giant granite boulders, limestone caves, or sandstone bluffs he'll crush!
A highlight for Seany boy this past season has been a longterm FA project at the base of Lost Dome in the Wichita Mountains of our very own Oklahoma. Although the problem had a short term name of The Angry Inch, or The Inch as it affectionately was known, I don't know if Sean has officially named the thing. Whatever, the problem is SICK and clocks in somewhere around V10! That's hard patrons, real hard. Our hero here kept plugging away despite being full time student, full time boyfriend, part time model, and part time dragon slayer.
Sean holds a special place in our life, so much that we seem to cheers him about one in five, which these days, is a lot of cheersing. So we raise our glasses to the one and only Sean Dossett for having infinite psyche to push the standards of Oklahoma bouldering and for graduating university last weekend, finally! Move your ass out here brahoni. Cheers Sean!
Photos: Sean in Joe's Valley Doing Work on Feels Like Grit V8. Photo: Bronco.
Sean and JonP acting perfectly homosexual on the hood of Sean's whip, yes that was really his hood
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
C-note: Let's start with the hot topic of sensory deprivation.
C-note: How have you used your homemade SD chamber to achieve greatness?
C-note: Did your parents think you were just wasting time in there?
JK: My parents thought I was wasting lots of time everywhere.
C-note: So, how do you make a living?
JK: I'm a professional rock climber/amateur filmmaker/hold shaper/graphic design artist/sculptor/entrepreneur. And on top of all that, an eager, young, professional at heart.
C-note: If you had a real job, what would it be?
JK: I've always considered becoming a secret agent or superhero—I mean that's way more real than rock climbing.
C-note: I like your cribs video, makes me wanna go for a ride in your van. Ever thought about adding a hot tub?
C-note: What propels you relentlessly down the open road?
JK: I don't think that's funny.
C-note: You wanna skip that one?
JK: No. The ongoing quest to go somewhere new. New climbing, new culture.
C-note: How do you keep it together?
JK: With a strange mixture of camel saliva, plaster of paris and Emergen-C.
C-note: I hear your Mom's a professional hair stylist. What does she think about your current 'do?
JK: "Cut the mullet..." Growing up I was always coming up with crazy hairstyles and trying to talk my Mom into cutting them for me. She usually refused. This eventually led me to move out of the house and go after my own hairstyles.
C-note: When did you start climbing?
JK: When I was like 16. But I was always climbing houses or trees. You could often find me on the rooftops.
C-note: Favorite climbing area, stateside?
JK: Can I just hypothetically say Fontainebleau?
C-note: Uh, sure. How about Europe then?
JK: Hypothetically speaking, Hueco Tanks, Joe's Valley. Basically any good sandstone.
C-note: Everyone wants to ask you about highballs, so I'm not going to.
JK: Fine then.
C-note: No, really.
JK: Actually, my father is extremely afraid of heights.
JK: I think it's something he acquired with age. Genetically, I'm headed down that road, too.
C-note: That sucks. Are you scared now?
JK: I'm actually super scared right now.
JK: Stop looking at me like that!
C-note: Oh, we're not supposed to look at each other during the interview?
C-note: So what's your proudest lowball?
JK: Um, you know, there are so many good lesser lines out there...I can't even remember. It's like each one is better than the next.
C-note: You've climbed in top-secret bouldering areas all over the world. What's your obsession with first ascents? Why is that better than working a hard line with a little history?
JK: I think because you're always going for the unknown, to see if it's possible or not. A lot of times your only inspiration to climb is because a line is beautiful and looks crazy. It looks impossible. But it can go the other way, too. To climb something that's really historical has a lot of power behind it, a lot of meaning.
C-note: Any classics that stick out in your mind?
JK: Definitely Midnight Lightning. The first time I walked up to it when I was a beginner, it looked unreal. You hear so much about something and then you see it. It's crazy that you can go anywhere and see stuff like that. I mean, if you wanna play basketball, you can't just go out and play with Jordan. It's not like that for climbers. Anyone can climb with anyone.
C-note: Favorite first ascents?
JK: Yeah I have a bunch of them. Evilution is number one, and the Kumite in Japan.
C-note: That's cool.
C-note: Who would win in a fight—Jason Kehl (pronounced like the vegetable) or Jason Kehl (like the bottom of a boat)?
JK: Jason Keel, 'cuz it sounds more like "kill".
JK: And also I found my bizarro Jason Kehl counterpart. He lives in California. He's a realtor.
C-note: How'd you meet him?
JK: Myspace. He found me. One day I hope to meet and fight.
C-note: You're pretty good on the stilts. How'd you get into that?
JK: Um...it all started from the Discovery channel. I watched some sort of Asian parade where everyone was on stilts, so I went down to the woodshop and built a pair and started doing it. Now i'm going to do it 'til it's done.
C-note: Are they the same ones you use today?
JK: I didn't use any today.
C-note: I hear you've been dropping mind-altering propaganda into the So Ill ads. How do you think the public will react when they find out?
JK: Uh, no comment.
C-note: Is that a bad question?
JK: No, it's a great question.
C-note: Have you ever tried headcasting? I hear it's fun.
JK: No, but that's a great idea.
C-note: What's the best part about traveling in Japan?
JK: The food and the culture. It's very different from any other place I've been—the different-nicity of it.
C-note: Preferred way to die?
JK: The most painful thing I can think of. Getting all my skin ripped off piece by piece, getting pissed on by Aboriginal people, then licked raw by 25 cats. You only get to go out once, might as well make it good. I can sleep all the time.
C-note: What's your view on global warming?
JK: I mean sure it pisses me off like the next guy. I do what I can.
C-note: Ever tried surfing? It's the shit.
JK: No, but when I was younger, I used to boogie board 'til my nipples were raw.
C-note: That sounds painful.
JK: It actually stunted the growth of my nipples.
C-note: I've noticed that about you...What do you think you were in your past life?
JK: A gnarly old hermit who lived in the cliffside and pretty much did his own thing all the time.
C-note: I'm talking about past lives.
JK: DON'T QUESTION MY PAST LIVES.
C-note: Fine, but there are some similarities...Do you see yourself as the Ozzie Osbourne of climbing?
JK: I WISH I was the Ozzy Ozbourne of climbing. I think I need to put in more hard times.
C-note: Who's the biggest asshole in the climbing community? I want names.
JK: That red-headed bastard Shane Williams, thinks he's 100% man.
C-note: Are you pissed at him?
JK: I mean I wasn't before that question.
C-note: Next big trip?
JK: California. "I'm goin back to Cali..."
C-note: Favorite thing to cook?
JK: I really enjoy the Bastilla—a Moroccan dish made with pigeon meat—a multi-layered pigeon pie. I substitute chicken.
C-note: Sounds yummy.
JK: It's really involved, takes several hours.
C-note: What's the significance of your name and how does it relate to our calendar?
JK: Let me begin. Note the significance of the months July through November, starting with their first letter.
C-note (eventually gets it): That's awesome!
JK: It's pretty much the only name that does that.
C-note: Impressive. You were born in the O.
JK: I'm still trying to work it all out. But yes, Oct. 18th has great significance.
C-note: Got any mantras?
JK: Suffer for it!
JK: Could you please take out that part about the Aboriginal people in the death question? I don't want to piss them off.
C-note: No problem.
Limit and I have decided to open our hearts and minds up to the flock. Occasionally we will be asking you, the readers, to send us out and about to crags of your choice. Not only will you pick the crag from a short list of destinations that we provide, but you will decide certain routes or boulders you would like to see us attempt, succeed or flail at. Upon return of our little jaunt we will report or successes, failures, and general good or bad times that we experienced. So, with that said, let the choosing begin!
This week the areas up for your options are:
1) The Black Canyon
3) Stealing a super secret project in Colorado
These are your options, but to narrow the field even more I will provide routes at each area that you think we should get on and attempt.
1) The Black Canyon, a) The Scenic Cruise, 10d Grade V. b) Atlantis, 5.11 PG-13. c) Journey Home, 10a/b Grade IV.
2) Rifle, a) Projecting Lungfish 14a. b) Basically, we will get on most anything you tell us to in Rifle. The only caveat is seepiness, not always down with wet fingers.
3) Steal Super Secret Project somewhere in Colorado. Enough said.
So, either email us at email@example.com or comment to this post. At week's end we will tally the votes, analyze the arguments, and make a decision based on your feedback. Make it count!
Monday, May 12, 2008
One more thing. I wanna know what everyone is doing these days (climbing wise) Please please please email us with your sends, your epics, your FA's. Anything. I don't care if it was your first V1 or V11 I wanna know all about it. Send detailed accounts to firstname.lastname@example.org quick fast and in a hurry.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Watch out for the medallion my diamonds are reckless
Feels like a midget is hangin' from my necklace
Why everything that's supposed to bad make me feel so good?
Everything they told me not to is exactly what I would
Man I tried to stop man I tried the best I could
You want fame you can take that path
Candlelights when you take that bath
You got such a sensational ass
I'ma get you Jimmy Choo and Marc Jacobs bags
To preface this post, we at P&C will be profiling crags we think are worthwhile for whatever reason. Even though we tout ourselves as sport climbing pansies, we will bring you the best areas we know of for all disciplines of this climbing lifestyle. However, the crag I am featuring in this segment is a sport climbing area, so blow me.
To me crags are broken up in categories that define something like this: 1) Destination areas, places I would basically suffer for on long caffeine and nicotine induced trips trapped in a motor vehicle, train compartment, or aircraft. These places tend to hold significant historical value and high quality lines to boot. Examples, Hueco Tanks, Font, Smith Rocks, The Red, Indian Creek, Frankenjura, Ceuse, etc. 2) The Weekend Excursion, similar to a destination area, but within 4 or 5 automobile hours. Maybe even a new area that seems to be a "hot spot" or a lesser known crag that could be a dark horse personal favorite. Examples for us here in the Front Range, Wild Iris, Black Hills, Puoux, The Poudre, Shelf. 3) The Local Crag, typically these are your go after work, I can't get away this weekend, last ditch effort, training crags. They could be good or they could be bad, but at least it's rock you can climb on and find some marginal benefit to its existence. So, with that, this installment of Crag Exposure speaks of the latter crag category mentioned, at least for me.
Clear Creek Canyon sits just outside Golden, Colorado and slivers up Highway 6 headed for mountains, casinos, and of course, Rock Climbing. At first glance the rock seems friable and chossy, which, it may be, but diamonds in the rough do co-exist with these overbolted brick dumps. For the brief boring historical point, CCC soared in popularity in the late 80's when cocaine, fast cars, and lycra played an integral role in every climbers life. After the bolting ban at the staunchly traditional Eldorado Canyon became effective, CCC was the place that pimpers and crimpers united in a single front to overcome this evil sport climbing discrimination that plagued the Front Range. Names such as Kurt Smith, Alan Nelson, Richard Wright, and Ken Trout paved the way by scouring the roadside cliffs that now make up the CCC.
Today, climbers from all over the front range utilize this Gneiss canyon for weekend jaunts, after school specials, and post work workouts. What attracts me to CCC, besides living two minutes from the mouth of the canyon, is the variety of routes that it offers. Want super steep Rifle simulators? Done. Need to pull your Cobras on and suss out technical masterpieces with Francois Legrand style? No Problem. Salivating for Slopers? We got'em. CCC accommodates most every style, short, long, powerful, sustained, you name it, its there. Now, with a new guidebook published by Sharp End, authored by the elusive and reclusive Darren Mabe, even more people will be combing the crags of CCC. By the way, the book is as good as it gets, one of the best guides on the Front Range.
The Must Do's if you are cruising through and need to stop at CCC (all three or four star routes):
5.8 - 5.9+: Guppy 5.8 (Creekside Crag); Fish and Chips 5.9+ (Creekside Crag); Gneiss Ride 5.9+ (Mission Wall); Lunchmoney 5.9 (Capitalist Crag); First Impressions 5.9 (Little Eiger); Mineral Museum 5.9+ (Crystal Tower, Primo Area).
5.10a - 5.11d: Too! 5.10a (Little Eiger); People's Choice 5.10b (High Wire); Vixen 5.10c (Wall of the 90's); MirthMobile 5.10a (Primo Wall); Reefer Madness 5.11a (Wall of the 90's); Curvaceous 5.11c (Wall of the 90's); River Jam 5.11d (River Wall); Officer Friendly 5.11c (Wall of Justice)
5.12a - Super Hard: Wet Dream 5.12a (Wall of the 90's); Hipster 5.12a (Hipster Crag); Balkan Dirt Diving 5.12a (Sport Wall); Adventure Kayak Trundle 5.12a (River Wall); Quartz Sports 5.12b (Crystal Tower); Slammer 5.12b (Wall of Justice); Sucking My Will to Live 5.12c (Primo Wall); Ten Digit Dialing 5.12c (Wall of the 90's); Ken Tanks 5.12c (The Armory, Primo Area); Anarchitect 5.12d (Anarchy Wall); Sonic Youth 5.13a (New River Wall); Stuffed Wolf 5.13b (High Profile Crag); Interstellar Overdrive 5.13d (Wall of the 90's)
Photos: 1) Brandon Patterson hanging on for the clip, The Desiderata 5.11d (The Bumbling Stock) Photo: Bronco. 2) Bronco Lowering off Sonic Youth, disheveled and defeated. Photo: LucasMarshall
3) Clear Creek Canyon Guidebook Photo: Fred Knapp (Sharp End Publishing).
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Most of you I'm sure have heard of the Mile High Club where you try to get lucky in the bathroom of an air plane on as many flights as you can. Now while as exciting as may seem to get your joint worked while flying over the Washington Monument, how much fun can you really have in a loos so cramped it's uncomfortable for one Chinese gymnast? And besides, we're climbers and we need our own special clubs and rating systems.
I give you the Tower Club. The goal is as simple as it is symbolic. Try to get lucky atop a desert tower. The rules are pretty straight forward. You must be the only party on top of the tower (unless the other parties are also, in fact copulating) One point if you get laid. Double points if you take your harness off entirely. Triple points if you both actually get off. Negative points if animals are involved...
Here is the rating schedule:
Bronze Member: 1 point
Silver Member: 2-5 points
Gold Member: 5 or more points
Before last week, I had never heard of Misty Murphy, but wig wanted to do an interview with her. So, I checked out her myspace, her 8a, searched for youtube videos of her, looked and failed to find flickr and friendster accounts. I hacked the interpol database and repositioned satellites, all in an attempt to dig up a little background information (I've never actually done an interview before. I was scarred.) Here are the facts: she's not just a climber, but a climber who cranks. She's also the singer/songwriter of some pretty dope stuff. Her personality? Well, I guess that's what the interview was for. Enjoy!
Limit: Good morning!
Misty: Good morning to you!
Limit: Sorry I'm moving kinda slow this morning. You know how Friday nights treat you.
Misty: Ha! story of my life!
Limit: Ok so I guess I need to start with some boring bio questions.
Limit: Is Misty Murphy your real name?
Limit: How lucky you have a name that alliterates.
Limit: Age? Don't answer if you don't want to...
Misty: 39. I'm not afraid. I'm a cougar!
Limit: Zodiac sign?
Limit: Alcoholic beverage of choice?
Misty: Indica IPA, Lost Coast Brewery.
Limit: Never heard of that one, but hell yeah to IPAs.
Misty: IPAs. Yes. High alcohol content. You have to drink only a few. I love red wine too.
Limit: So it seems you're a pretty successful singer and climber.
Misty: I guess that is all in what you consider successful.
Limit: I suppose, but if you're releasing albums and having fun you are doing better than than a lot of people.
Misty: Oh yeah. I'm totally happy. But I'm also hyper critical of myself.
Limit: I'm sure that has its pluses and minuses--being your own worst critic. How long have been in the music biz?
Misty: I started playing in front of people at 14. I wrote and performed my first song at a school talent show. But I guess I didn't start taking it seriously until 9 years ago.
Limit: oohhh talent shows. I wanted juggle torches. They weren't psyched.
Misty: That would be rad!
Limit: So obviously climbing and music are both pretty important to you. Is it hard to balance both of them? (This balance question is probably the most over-asked interview question ever but I felt I had to do it...)[wig: because I told him too]
Misty: They actually compliment each other. I have times when I focus more on climbing or the music. So it is good for me to have both or else I become too obsessed with one. like playing live is so much like redpointing. If I think I'm going to screw up...I will for sure!
Limit: I'm not a musician but I think I see what you mean.
Misty: But you are climber.
Limit: Practice practice practice and then try to DO it.
Limit: So it kinda sounds like both passions kinda naturally balance each and helps to keep you sane and prevents an unhealthy obsession with either.
Misty: Yes. I have all of these energy. If I didn't have climbing and music I would probably just smoke cigarettes and do heroin. (I don't do either just for the record)
Limit: haha. I have climbing and cigarettes. Maybe I should take up music.
Misty: I used to smoke. I miss it sometimes.
Limit: Good for you for quitting. Any upcoming gigs near Denver?
Misty: Nothing right now. I'm working on a summer tour which will most likely be a Philadelphia, New York, New Jersey thing.
Limit: So I'm a big fan of the Would You Rather game...WYR: be famous for music or climbing? And both isn't an option
Misty: lol. shit. music.
Limit: Any reason why?
Misty: More bling and it would be fun to be in a music video. And have groupies.
Limit: How about a climbing music video? Like you ghost ride through Rifle.
Misty: That would be cool. I love rifle, but i think David Lee Roth already did the climbing/music vid. Very cheesy....
Limit: So speaking of Rifle...
Limit: What's your favourite climbing area?
Misty: My home crag The Cathedral/Welcome Springs. But I love Rifle. It is such an amazing canyon.
Limit: The Cathedral looks awesome.
Misty: It is. So much to do. It is totally hidden. It's great. The locals (non-climbers) here in St.Gizzle don't even know it exists. And it's a huge cave out in the middle of nowhere.
Limit: Oooohh. A cave. Werd.
Limit: So I'm gonna guess that you're mostly a sport climber. Slap me if I'm wrong.
Misty: Yep. Whoosy sport climber
Limit: Do you dabble/crush in any other discipline?
Misty: I dabble in cracks and I like bouldering. Not so much crushing going on in those areas though.
Limit: Crushing cracks is hard.
Misty: Hell yeah.
Limit: Especially Indian Creek cracks.
Misty: Isn't that place cool? I want to be a hippie crack climber in my next life.
Limit: haha. Indian creek is awesome. But the desert rats rule.
Misty: Quit shaving quit showering. Stare at my rack at night... (Not the rack.)
Limit: ...and just stumble around in the cactus tripping on mescaline dreaming about offwidths? You could do that in this life.
Misty: lol. Maybe when I'm old and don't care about shaving any more.
limit: So... according to your 8a, you sent route called Brewskies after a night of drinking. was that planned? I hope it was.
Misty: lol. Well I drink almost every night. But not champagne. Not planned.
Limit: I gotta give you props though for the send formula: Drink champagne night before. Pass out. Wake up. Drink coffee. Eat one coconut chocolate zone bar. Eat half of rotten banana on way to cliff. Borrow chalk from the closest Canadian. Pet the dog. Send.
Sounds almost like me. Just substitute beer and a gas station hot dog for the champagne and zone bar.
Misty: You're not the first person who has told me that. But not the hot dog part.
Limit: Well I'm actually from Oklahoma so my diet is a little on the, uh unhealthy side sometimes. People in boulder shake their heads and stare.
Misty: Oh yeah? What do okees eat?
Limit: Junk food. Gas station hot dogs, MacDonalds, things with lots of fat and cholesterol. Nothing organic.
Misty: Awesome. Stay away from spinach. I got e coli from some a couple weeks ago
Misty: I am sticking to ding dongs and Doritos from now on
Limit: yes! So I'm curious, would you give up drinking if you were guaranteed to send a full NUMBER grade harder?
Misty: I have prayed about that question and the answer came back "no!" straight from God. Would you?
Limit: Maybe but I think I can climb another number grade AND keep boozin'. You may be the only person I've ever met who says God told them to keep drinking.
Misty: lol.Mine is a very fair and kind God.
Limit: Which God?
Misty: You know. The one that looks like he's been hangin' out at Indian Creek. long beard, unkempt......
Limit: ahh. When was Earl Wiggins deified?
All I have to say is Thank God for Credit Cards! Most of you guys know me, once I get tipsy, I am buying rounds for everyone. Well, nothing changed down island way. Fruity Rum drinks flowed like wine and overweight Bahamian women flocked like the salmon of Capistrano. However, the mission of the trip was accomplished, I did, in fact, catch a bonefish! The elusive and sinsiter saltwater bastard child of the North American Carp is quite an exciting bugger to fish for. So, yes, I would go back, thanks for asking.
Wow! Psyched that our newest member, C-Note, is on board. I don't exactly know what dark magic wig used to sign her up, but his potent potion must have worked. Glad to have you C-Note! And, okay, our little #3 Cute Climber girl, Beka, all I have to say is, HOT! Nice work while I was gone boys, you make me proud.
Our protaginast of all things windgate and towering has made her home in the Moab region for many a year. I don't know the exact number of times she has ascended Castleton tower, but it has to be in the hundreds, so it's not hard to believe that she went to solo up there, she does it often. However, the route chosen this time, The North Face, is not your typical romp up the North Chimney. Remember folks, we're talking desert sandstone/calcite bullshit. However, Steph is no stranger to long and difficult solos. This summer she managed to solo The Diamond four times!!! Doing the Casual Route twice and Pervertical Sanctuary twice was astounding. But that is Steph, soulful, fun, and pretty damn cute to boot.
Aside from her typical solo affairs, Steph has recently been sending difficult lines in the Moab Area, like, Concepcion. Despite being plauged by injuries this winter, Steph continues to seek adventure and have fun doing it. Keep up with her antics via her blog, which is in our links as well. Raise your glasses, it's Wednesday! Cheers Steph!
Photo: Highinfatuation The classic pic of Steph soloing Scarface in Indian Creek. I never told Steph this, but this pic was the single influence for me and Limit's first trip to the Creek. We had thrown around the idea of Hueco and we had only climbed together a couple times in the gym. On one of those occasions we went to the water fountain and looming over us was this giant poster of Steph soloing Scarface. Holy Shit, we took a look and both knew we had to go to this Indian Creek place and try that route. Two days later we were on our way and have been in love with the Creek ever since. So, special thanks to Steph for inspiring us!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
That's ground rule numero uno-Train Like a Man.
Ground Rule number two is simple. A training method's effectiveness is only measured by how sore it makes you the next day.
So if you are like me and are too proud(or scared) to use all those wonderful commercial forearm training products, what are you gonna do? Get yourself a Jackhammer! Now this is between you and me, but I have tried all those little gadgets but in the privacy of my own closet. And honestly, all of them fail to get my massive pythons sore. But the jackhammer? Now that thing gets me so sore I whine like a little bitch the next day. Go to the Bosch Store and get yourself one of these puppies and start pounding up your driveway. When that's gone, get to work on your street and local freeways. If people give you shit, just tell them “hey, come off bro. Fuckin' Limit told me too.” It's a little known secret that his line can get you out of almost any bind. And if you keep up the regimen for two weeks, I guarantee that not only will your arms will be so sore you can't unlock you front door you will also feel like more of a man than Sylvester Stallone. And your arms might just get as big as mine. And you might just send you project.
Think you know how to train like a man? Send you training ideas or questions to email@example.com. In the next instalment of Training with Limit, we'll be focusing on abs.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Name: Rebeka Charlotte Hamilton
Location: Tulsa for the next few days then DC!
Wig: I woke up not too long ago, so forgive me please if I’m slow going.
Beka: It's cool, no worries. Had a bit to much to drink last night?
Wig: Actually I just stayed out too late. The bars here don't close until 4 so went to a friends house around then. Left at 5:15 and the subways were not working in my favor so I didn't get back until like 6:30
Sun was almost up.
I hate that.
Beka: Dang, that is a late night
Beka: Bars here close at 2 and they turn the ugly lights on at 1:30 so it's never a super late night when you go out here.
Wig: Lame. How many bad decisions can you make before 2?!
Beka: It's not too bad, just gotta follow up the night with a good house party. If I'm drinking enough I can make plenty of bad decisions before 2!
Wig: So when you got out in Tulsa, what's your preferred drink combo to get you to that "good place"?
Beka: Start it off classy with a glass of wine over dinner, hit the bar and start slow with a beer or two then kick it up to Malibu Pineapples for the rest of the night. At least that was my progression last night and it worked out pretty smooth.
No major hangover and no bowing to the porcelain god.
Wig: You just had a birthday right?
Beka: Why yes I did. 25 was like a quarter life crisis for me. Spent it climbing at Quartz Mtn. for the Spring Fling
Wig: What's in DC? Why the move?
Beka: Georgetown. I got accepted into the nursing anesthesia program up there. I’m gonna make big bucks so I can travel around and climb everywhere!
Wig: I know 3 guys and a girl that will let you be our surrogate mother
Beka: As long as everyone is past the breast-feeding stage I'm down
Wig: …you left that wide open, and I’m going to let it go. Okay so would you consider yourself a beach girl or a mountain girl?
Beka: Mountain girl who loves to vacation at the beach. It's kinda hard to rock a bikini in the mountains, so I've gotta get to the beach at least once a year.
Wig: That's completely understandable, and we thank you for your sacrifice.
Beka: Your welcome. I aim to please.
Wig: What's the worst gift you ever received from a dude you were dating or wanted to date you (or just sleep with you)
Beka: Geez, I don't think I have really gotten any bad gifts. I guess I would have to say a gift certificate to the mall. The most un-creative thing ever! Guys can score major creativity points with me
Wig: Well then what's the best thing?
Beka: Climbing gear!
Wig: Climbing gear!? Do you know how hard it is to find a girl who thinks climbing gear is an appropriate gift! You’ve made thousands upon thousands of men’s dreams come true.
Beka: Yup, I was sent on a scavenger hunt all across the city with clues and along the way was different pieces of climbing equipment wrapped up as presents.
Beka: It's a totally appropriate present, especially if it's something you share together. It doesn't hurt to throw in a cute Prana top with the gear too though.
Wig: Wow. Are there more of you?
Beka: I do have a sister, but she's taken.
Wig: How old is your sis?
Beka: 23, she's like married taken though.
Wig: wow! How's that feel?
Beka: I'm thrilled for her! She just found her guy first. I'll get mine.
Wig: Is he gonna be a climber?
Beka: Other guys exist? Yeah, I don't think I could be with a guy that didn't climb. It's such a big part of my life. I can't imagine being with someone who didn't share that common interest. Plus, climber guys are hot! Who wouldn't want to be with a climber?
Wig: I ask myself that question a lot. So how long have you been climbing?
Beka: Solid for about the last 2 years, I picked it up in college about 5 years ago but got serious about it in the last 2 years.
Wig: Most memorable send? Favorite climb?
Beka: Most memorable was probably the most painful. Out in Arkansas at Lake Lincoln, took two huge whippers in a row and bashed my knees up pretty good, it hurt like hell, I was crying the whole time but never came down till it was done.
Favorite...Morning Sky (5.10c) at Smith Rocks
Wig: Would you rather send 13b or V8?
Beka: hands down 13b.
Wig: Not a boulderer?
Beka: I climb harder than I boulder. Climbing just always seemed to click with me more than bouldering. Plus, when I got into it the people I hung with were all climbers
Wig: Now now, boulderers are climbers too. They get all pissy if you try to make that distinction.
Beka: True, I totally agree! We are all one big happy family. I would love to take my bouldering to the next level. I just haven't worked on it as hard.
Wig: Ever gotten lucky on a climbing trip?
Beka: I plead the fifth!
Wig: well…fine. Is there any last thing our readers need to know about you? Ability to eat bananas whole? Super flexible?
Beka: I'm small but super strong, can eat an entire pizza by myself, kick ass at foosball, I'm the most bad ass nurse you will ever meet and lastly I'm nice and sweet as can be. I'm not sure how that paints a picture of me but for the most part I'm really laid back and cool, always up for hanging out and having a good time.
Wig: I keep forgetting you're a nurse. That leaves you open to so many dominatrix and pornographic naughty nurse jokes.
Beka: Yeah, every time a new climber dude finds out I'm a nurse they always start in on the dirty nurse jokes with me…
Wig: How terribly unfortunate…