Wig's Werd #2: MADLOLZ

The internetz is crazy ehn't it? It started with Goetse and just moved on from there. Girls and cups, cats, lolz, Rick rollings, Bill O'Fuckitwelldoitlive, things I did last night, Tom Cruise and Scientology, Chris Crocker, Tila Tequila and the rest of the virtual maelstrom that does nothing but suck life from hapless "surfers" stupid enough to continue tip tapping on their keyboards. Shit, I'm watching Top Chef on Bravo now at 12:55 a.m. and I just saw a commercial that said we can vote on the best web celebrity or cewebrity for whatever awards show would honor an attention whore by calling him/her/himher a word only six-year-olds say.

Oddly enough I can't get enough of all this. I love the internet. I think it's just wonderful and I've become quite adroit at navigating it with a speed and accuracy that's rivaled only by the designers of the search engines I use. My ability to quickly locate New York Magazine's naked pictures of Lindsey Lohan is beside the point though. This is about my problem. I have one. Only one of course. I am completely addicted to being apart of internet communities. Those terrible fickle people who comment on things with the poise and tact of a (barely) post-pubescent teenager who smokes PCP or crack in his spare time.

A quick list of dot-coms I have active accounts with:
gmail(3), oumail, yahoo, hotmail, facebook, myspace(2), flickr, photobucket, dopplr, linkedin, collegehumor, gawker, rockclimbing, mountainproject, blogspot, tumblr, wmcc, muxtape, atrium, eatstreetmeat, yourclimbing, rockandice, 8a, youtube, mediabistro, condenet, aim/ichat, skype, bancfirst, bank of america, stillwater national bank, moola, ebay, amazon, itunes, paypal, and countless retailers I've ordered online stuff from.

I am certain there are a few that I am missing but I don't care. Looking at that long list makes me sad enough. Thankfully friendster and xanga were never apart of that arsenal, but that doesn't make me feel much better. It's an odd relationship I have with the internet. It keeps changing its mood on me, and I have to always adapt to make our relationship work. It's simply not fair. If the internet was my girlfriend I would have told her to pack her bags a long time ago.

I know that's sort of an obvious place to (attempt) to take this considering this website is primarily about climbing, and I don't care because this is my wannabe-column and I can do whatever the hell I want. My hectic one-sided relationship with the internet makes me glad I have something like climbing.

Climbing is static. It's changes are subtle like the advent of revolutionary gear or top of the limit sends. This makes adjusting easy and not so frantic. Climbing is primal and simple. I don't even need anything to do it except a rock. I used to run cross-country and track. I liked that too because it's so damn pure. you don't even need shoes to run. You don't need anything but some kind of mostly horizontal surface. Climbing is on the other end as soon as the path gets too steep to run you start using your hands and viola! You're climbing. All you need to climb is a mostly vertical surface. It's simple. It's pure.

I realize that in this modern day we don't let climbing be that clean and pure. We have gear and shoes and ropes and bolts and anchors which is great. The base of climbing is still one of the simplest things ever. Plus I don't ever have to remember my password to rack up a set of cams instead of quickdraws.