Cute Climber Girl of the Week #2

This week we have a very special Cute Climber Girl of the Week. It's very special because she is going to be Pimpin' and Crimpin's newest contributor. Some of you savvy readers may have seen her new contributor picture down below and already deduced this. Congratulations. You were correct.

We had an outcry apparently for a female contributor and somehow we convinced Caroline Treadway to join our crew of unruly climbing bandits. I thought it appropriate (despite what C-note here called a "conflict of interest") that we usher in our newest pimper and crimper with this weekly high honor. So without further ado the adorable Caroline Treadway.


Caroline.Treadway: Hey
Wig: Hiya
C-note: Hieeeeeeee! Have you seen the retarded policeman?
Wig: YES!
C-note: You've seen my workout videos, right?
Wig: Yes
I watched them both.
I think I was drunk when I did as well.
C-note: I’m developing a cult following.
Wig: That's what we're hoping for. A mass of people we can control to do our bidding
C-note: I can do that with my iPhone. It's a little-known secret that one can control traffic lights via iPhone. It works 45 out of 50 times.
Wig: Teach me your sorcerous ways.
C-note: Well, what else do you want to know?
Wig: Well I want to know everything. Are you a witch?
C-note: No, I'm actually descended from elves.
Wig: I don't believe it. An elfish person who can control traffic lights with your phone.
C-note: …midget elves—they're SUPER small.
Wig: How'd you get to be so big then?
C-note: Genetic anomoly I guess.
Wig: Well. Your family must be proud.
C-note: Is that spelled right? Anomoly?
Wig: anomaly
With an "a"
C-note: Thank you. It looked weird.
Wig: Did you see the new survey I put up on P&C?
C-note: Nice! That's easy—who the fuck would give up sex? It's the best thing ever.
Wig: I haven't answered yet.
C-note: Ooooh, I thought about it for a second and maybe I'm not hardcore enough—ok fine, I'll give up sex.
Wig: Our readers will be most upset.
C-note: We do need a few less people on the planet...
Wig: So C-note. Let’s run through some standard CCGOTW questions.
C-note: Nice acronym. Sure hit me.
Hard.
Wig: Sharp as a tack you are, glad you caught it.
Alright. Full name:
C-note: Caroline Treadway.
Wig: That was boring. You don't have a middle name?
C-note: C-note; T-note
Wig: C-note T-note is your middle name or are you embarrassed?
C-note: Actually I have three.
Wig: You have three middle names…
C-note: …and, yes, I'm embarrassed. My dad keeps giving 'em to me, changes my name whenever he wants.
Wig: That's...awkward.
C-note: F-ing lawyers. Do you want to know what they are? Rainbow, Love and Light.
Wig: Are you serious?
C-note: Yep.
Wig: Respect points through the roofiez. Moving on.
Relationship status:
C-note: Single. Is that a boring answer? I could make it better.
Wig: No it's likely the most perfect answer.
C-note: Relationships are cool and all but...
and mad respect to those who make it work.
Wig: If a guy offers to buy you a drink in the bar what do you tell him to get you?
C-note: A whiskey coke—get your ups and your downs all in one! Then I ask him to stir the ice with his finger.
Wig: Favorite sexual position: (please say bionic seahorse)
C-note: Damn yer good—that's exactly what I was going to say! Bionic seahorse in rough waters.
Wig: What number date is the first kiss permissible?
C-note: Depends how hot the guy is! Could be within the first five minutes. Or never.
Wig: What's your favorite line from a rap song?
C-note: Can we come back to that one? I gotta think for a sec.
Wig: Surely. What would the perfect fortune cookie fortune say?
C-note: A porthole to another dimension is about to open in front of you, and something involving sex, maybe with aliens.
Wig: Mine would say: You can smoke forever and never have to quit because lung cancer will never touch your life and you'll stop smelling like smoke so no one will mind that you're taking part in such a disgusting habit.
C-note: Yeah, a porthole leading to an alien sex dimension—that would be crazy.
Wig: You really like sex huh?
C-note: See, women aren't as complicated as they're cracked up to be, but I'll try and stop thinking about it, especially if I'm going on this celibacy binge so I can climb 5.16.
Wig: Oh, of course. Here I have a favorite rap lyric for you:
"I got a great idea, we should have sex, bitch I'm like Dante Hall, I just throw up the X." It's Lil' Wayne.
C-note: suave
Wig: What's going to be the best part about being a contributor for P&C?
C-note: Seriously, independent media is the shit. Everyone's got creative ideas but not everyone DOES anything with them. Ya know? Independent media is all about DOING IT. Collaborating with people, creating something totally unique for the masses minus any kind of authority figures...except editors I guess. That'd be you!
Wig: Would you be friends with a guy who listened to Lily Allen?
C-note: who the fuck is that?
(editor’s note: At this point I continued to listen to Lily Allen and sing most of the words.)
Wig: Well. Is there anything our readers should know about you?
C-note: Hmmmm. They should probably LOOK THE FUCK OUT!

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Would you rather: be fat?

Wow. I'm taken aback really.
According to our poll 46% of you (25 people) said they would totally gain 10 lbs of FAT and keep it on for the rest of their lives in exchange for a million dollars. Only 40% (22 people) said "no weight."

Maybe it only surprises me because I'm totally vain, but I say fuck fat. I'll make my own million dollars (highly unlikely). It's absolutely ridiculous for me to think about 20 or 30 lbs. Holy goodness.

I confessed all this to my dad. I told him I felt bad because in the end it's just a little weight, but since he's my dad and he's awesome, he completely defended me bringing to light the fact that most climbers depend on a certain "lightness" to make pulling our asses off the ground and up the side of cliffs, so if climbing is what i really loved it's not too far off to expect me not to want to gain any extra weight that can't be turned into muscles or lost completely.

That all made me feel better.

I'm still confused about the five of you that voted for an extra 20 lbs. I mean. If you're gaining 20 why not more? Why stop there? I don't get it.

And to the two who voted 30+. Congratulations. You've proved you could give a shit what you look like so long as you're rich. Come to new York and I'll buy you something fried from the a street meat vendor.

Be on the look out the rest of today. P&C has some very special things in store.

Also please send any WYR ideas to Pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com. If we use it we'll buy you a beer if we ever see you in person.
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Whiskey Wednesday a Little Early

Okay, since I probably won't be able to post a Whiskey Wednesday shout out manana I am doing it an hour and a half early. Tip your glasses, raise your shots, spray your champagne this week to a true pimper and crimper. You have seen him in ads, movies, and it seems everywhere these days, but Joe Kinder deserves serious props from the P&C crew this week! Joe just completed the FA of Golden Direct 8c+ or 14c for the layperson. The Cathedral looks Super Sexy right now and I am psyched to get out there. Joe has been killing it lately, so with a current trip to Spain we should be hearing more about one of our favorite east coast boys. Always psyched, always real, Joe is the shit. So, here's to you Joe, have fun in Espana!
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I'm a drunkard...

Sure I might be slighly intoxicated most nights of the week. But I didn't think that made me a drunkard. Don't you have to booze up at work to qualify for that one? I guess not, at least this Booze test. Try it, it's fun. My score:

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Myspace

In an effort to spread the word a little more about P&C we started a myspace page.


We would greatly appreciate anyone that has a myspace to go ahead and befriend us. We love you. Keep spreading the word.

On another note entirely, P&C very much wants your questions. We are very unprofessional and unqualified advice givers, but just as surely as the sun will rise we'll dish it out like Dr. Phil on Adderall.

So please send us your questions about life, climbing, GFs, BFs, sex, drugs, money, whatever. We can handle it. We want it. Help us help you.

email all at Pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com
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Limitation

Do I really even need to say anything...
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Up the Poudre

Beware, Adam can wield a drill at the crag and he is PSYCHED!!! Monitor your local crag with vigilance or I may sneak in and retro bolt your area runout classic, squeeze a route like the thighmaster, or couple bolts and cracks like Sonny and Cher. My last trace of ethical pride has been eradicated by my newly acquired dark art and I am laughing a very evil laugh. Buhahahahaha!!!

No really, I have wanted to pound a bolt or two up a new route for some time now and today I got the chance. The route, yet to be named, is steep and thin at the bottom and pumpy, but pretty damn beautiful. So psyched to work this project in the coming months, and work it will be. I think the thing could be hard, real hard, but with enough effort it should go fairly quick, I hope! So, with that, I am opening up the P&C portal to name suggestions. Either comment them on this post or email them to us at pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com.

On another note, the rest of the day was pretty pimp as well. Derek put me on one of his masterpiece multipitch gems at the Crystal Wall, Tour de Poudre 12b. SICK!!! This route was legit, the first pitch was steep and juggey clocking in at 10a, great fun. Then the biz came on the second pitch with sequential climbing on small crimps, whoohooo! After a small break he ushered me over to a harder route, but just as good, Orange Crimpsycle (sp?), 13a. OC ascends this brilliant orange lichen face on small crimps, think credit cards mating with razorblades on straight up vertical granite. Despite being overserved last night I was feeling surprisingly good today. I launched into the first crux and somehow pulled it off and found myself resting 3 bolts below the anchor. You could say that I was pretty psyched and thought I may have had a good chance for the onsight. Little did I know that was about to embark on another crux section just above, I fell. Sigh. However, I didn't get the onsight, but I was super excited about the route and can't wait to venture back up there and try her again. If any of you have by passed the sport climbing on the Crystal Wall and at the Palace while on your way to the 420's, then you have missed out on some exceptional routes. Get out there and climb'em!!!
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Bahama Mamas, Bones, and Brews

If you ever wanted to be jealous of me, now is the time. This Wednesday I hang up the quickdraws and sticky rubber boots for flip flops, board shorts, and fly rods. A group of college brahinis and myself try to make it a point to get together every spring, origially for St. Patty's day, but now just a spring get together. Last year we drove ourselves out to the sandstone walls of Red Rocks in Neveda for 5 days. Actually, we only climbed two of those days and even got snowed off a route on the first day, but that is neither here nor there. This year we have been planning on a luxurious bahamian fly fishing excursion! Stay tuned, as I will most definitley have the laptop with me and be posting, probably mostly under the influence of island rum carried by native girls in grass skirts and coconut bras, so it should be interesting.

Oh, and if Amanda B., or cute climber of the week is reading this, then I would absolutely take you to the island. Although it isn't the V.G., no rocks to speak of, and I probably couldn't pay for it all, I would buy you a spicy seafood raspberry pineapple pancake with oatmeal and brown sugar on the side and as many Mojitos as you could stand. Let me know if you are interested.

bronco
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Mini Pimpers and Crimpers Unite

Tribute to the 11 middle and high school kids that I spent this last week with. For those of you that don't know, the Watershed School in Boulder is the hippest escuela out there. I was privileged enough to help teach a week long intensive on Rock climbing this week with the lovely Vanessa Compton.

What other school have you heard of that lets its kids ditch the normal curriculum for a week to figure out what this thing called rock climbing means? After going over some basics on Monday morning we have been climbing everyday this week! The students got to visit three crags in Boulder Canyon, the Boulder Rock Club, and North Table Mountain here in Golden. Our mini pimpers and crimpers were awesome and definitely reminded me of how crazy psyched I was when I first started climbing. Here's to Austin, Andy, Miranda, Zoe, Emmy, Eva, Sean, Simon, Jordan, Peter, and Taya. Not that they are going to read this blog b/c often times it lives in the land of PG-13 and beyond, but you guys were great!

Pic: Vanessa on Empire of the Fenceless.
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Questions...

So, here's the deal, we are going to be posting some Q&A's here on P&C. What's on your mind? Send us your life's questions and concerns and we will analyze and advise with our ever so wise council. If your question happens to get picked for posting and commenting it will receive solutions from all three P&Cers. Bonus!!! So bring it on, we are here for ya. (Warning: We are not opposed to hating as well as praising.)

Our first question comes from Shane Seaton of the Great State of Oklahoma. Here is Shane's email (edited for space).

Hey P&C,
This weekend I was climbing at Lost Dome with Randy Banning. We wanted to put up a toprope on Made in the Shade 5.12RX so Randy could work his project...I am a fairly conservative climber (Read: scared) and Randy is a boulderer who's never placed a nut in his life. Luckily, Crackalolo 5.10b has three bolts at the top so to him it was like climbing a highball with a rope between his legs. He did place one nut 15 ft up and then ran it out another 15 to the first bolt...I was watching him and suddenly got hit in the hands by something. His stopper wasn't so stopped. We laughed about it and it scared the crap out me and I started second guessing my decision to lead it on those stoppers. Well, Randy talked me into it and after placing three of them in the 15 ft of crack I headed into the comfort of the bolts. It was great. The adrenaline. The gear. I had a taste of the trad life and wanted more. Then I got on Made in the Shade and sent it clean, TR of course. I wouldn't have thought that was possible. I had been on it once before and it wasn't too bad, but wow it felt good to do those moves.
So, here is life's big question. What is my next step in climbing? Of course the next step after the TR should be the lead, but as I said, my head game is a little off and I have no desire to lead crazy RX runouts or place sketchy gear. I am not opposed to getting a head game and leading some runouts (no RX) and learning to place good gear. The rush I got that day reminded me of the first time I climbed. I wasn't freaked out just adrenalized. So how do I get that rush and feel safe? Is this oxymoronic? Especially here in OK where our ethical hardass first ascentionists were scarce on bolts.

Please help me P&C

okay, peace out,
shane seaton aka okieclimber

BRONCO:

Shaney Shane, I remember teaching you how to place gear at Upper Mt. Scott some 4 or 5 years ago. The route, Arm Bar 5.6. The gear, every last nut, cam, and hex I had. You climbed a ways and placed a #2 BD cam, it came out, but you pushed on and lead the thing with confidence. Oh my, it does my heart good to get your letter. So psyched that threw down on Crack-a-lolo, Sick! What's more, the TR burn on Made in the Shade gave you a good glimpse of what these harder routes are about, and you did it clean! All in all, sounds like a steller day, a real confidence booster, a psyche regeneration if you will, and I will.

So, here's the bizzynus. You basically want what we all want, climbing hard and not dying. Pretty worth goals if you ask me. Saddling up to scary gear, sport, or bouldering problems is something that shouldn't be taken lightly. However, some of the cleanest most aesthetic lines out there can be runout. So here's my advice, besides the obvious "go out and climb a lot" line, when you are out there get used to placing gear on routes that you are comfortable with, something within your ability, but not too challenging. This way you know you can sit there and place bomber gear and feel good about moving on. Calculate your fall potential and if the gear below is good and the next section looks easy for you, run that shit out! Feel the exposure, embrace it. This is a good way to get comfortable placing gear in hard sections and running out easier sections with confidence. Hope this helps, happy climbing! When you're ready come out and do Jules Verne with me in Eldo, that will test these newly found skills.


LIMIT
I'm probably the last person you want to take advice from about climbing hard runout shit. If you've hung around me and P&C crew for more than a couple days, you've doubtlessly heard of the infamous Arnie Whimper. While guys like Cassidy hill can grunt, scream, and will their way past hard and scary sections, I'm more or less reduced to a shrivelled manchild curled up in the fetal position emitting moans whines and whimpers. Basically, I'm a wimp. My balls are shrivelled up to the size of two peas in a desert sand storm.
Nonetheless, I would like to think myself a keen observer of humanity, so what I can offer you is my observations of how those guys you tote their giant brass balls to the crag in a wheelbarrow do it. To wit, I offer you: The Lessons of Dean Potter

1. The Primal State.
As it turns out, scary trad is a mind game that requires you to feel cosmically connected to beastly animals, the inanimate rock and most importantly the earlier, less intelligent ancestor of modern man. My best interpretation of the Primal State is that runout trad is, in reality, such stupid idea, that it requires you to transcend past your well developed sense of self preservation to a state of existing not dissimilar to cromagnan man who didn't live past 23.


2. Caves.
As it turns out, the best way to enter The Primal State is to spend a lot of time living in caves. This not only lets you dissociate yourself from the effeminating effects of modern luxury and feel more deeply connected to the caveman, it also gives you such a feeling of worthlessness that the only way to justify your pitiful, filth besot existence is to risk life and limb for the fleeting honor, glory and commendation of a scary send.


3. The Moment.
To climb scary trad, you have to somehow Be in The Moment. After years of contemplation, I think I've finally figured this one out. The Moment is a perfectly infinitesimal unit of time. There is not past not future, nor what has been nor what will be. The wonderful thing about The Moment is that, once entered, you are no longer aware of the shitty gear beneath you that probably couldn't hold a mouse and is just waiting to deposit your corpse on the talus field below, nor can you think about the slopers greased with death's own oil awaiting you above. How do you get there? No idea. I think it has something to do with yoga mats, Warrior One, and chanting mudras, darhmas, and namastes to yourself. I don't really know. But if you ever figure it out, let me know.

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Cute Climber Girl of the Week #1

Wig: Name, Age, sign, location
Amanda: Amanda Berezowski, 22, Aries, Canada
Wig: Aries! Did you just have a birthday?
Amanda: Yeah March 26
Wig: Did you manage to get drunk and make any bad decisions?
Amanda: No…I didn’t…actually. Well…maybe…
But… I didn’t go out for long… wasn’t the best night.
Wig: No?
Amanda: Not really…but oh well.
Wig: What's the worst pick up line you've ever heard?
Amanda: "You look so hot I would drink your bathwater!"
Wig: That's disgusting. Did someone really say that?
Amanda: Yes. Really. Someone I kinda know, but still.
Wig: I'm amazed. So if a guy did want to pick you up and take you out. How should he go about it? I mean what pick up line WOULD actually work?
Amanda: umm… this is hard... it really depends on the person. I don’t think its a pickup line that does the "work."
Maybe, “Want to go on a climbing trip...I'll take care of everything..."
Dont put that.
I don’t know.
Wig: Okay, Okay. So would you date a climber?
Amanda: Of course. I think it works better that way.
Wig: But you're a climbing bad ass. Think that intimidates dudes?
Amanda: Only problem is climbing is like one big incestuous family... pretty soon they will have web of who dated who or who slept with who in the climbing mag's.
Nah... I don’t think I’m that intimidating.
Wig: I'm working on that right now. Canada isn't a part of the web though so you should be safe. Except for that Sonny Trotter. We left him in because who knows about that guy..
Amanda: hahaha
Wig: Well here are some softballs. Where is your favorite climbing area ever?
Amanda: So far... the Virgin Gorda for sure... I think anyone would fall in love with it!
Wig: I've seen the pictures. Girls in bathing suits and climbing on the beach I don't think it gets much better than that.
Wig: What’s your favorite drink?
Amanda: Mojitos.
Wig: What's your favorite food?
Amanda: This is an endless question... but... anything spicy... or raspberries... or tacos... or seafood (sushi)... uh... pineapple pancakes...oatmeal with brown sugar!
Wig: So you're saying if I brought a spicy seafood raspberry pineapple pancake with oatmeal and brown sugar on the side on a climbing trip to the Virgin Gorda with plenty of Mojitos to go around and payed for it all. There's a good chance that would be a good pick up line?
Amanda: If anyone was actually going to do that. Then. Yes.
(editors note: take note guys…)


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Whiskey Wednesday

Hooray for Wednesday! Sorry I didn't post this earlier, I usually like to get it up before I leave the house on Wed, but my computer was not cooperating. Alas, you will have to raise your little shot glasses a little later today, but not lower. This week's Whiskey Wednesday Shot goes out to none other than our very own Derek Peavey! To preface this shot with a little history, Derek, Arnold and myself have been working a project in the CCC, off and on, for the past 6 or so months. If you've had any contact with any one of us during this time, then you have most definitely heard about Stuffed Wolf. What can I say? It's like get up and go, no resty rests, pinchpalooza, mono-finger locks, techy feet, steep, intimidating, crazy loveliness. Sitting atop a little perch all by its lonesome is Stuffed Wolf, magnificent shining in the evening light. We have all gone from psyched to scared to frustrated to angry to sad to psyched again. Derek cleaned house yesterday evening however, when he finally walked up to the route and walked up the route. Hitting the crux pinch with style, Derek moved through the next tough moves with ease. Then comes the redpoint crux up high, trying to keep your shit together while making exteremly technical 5.12 moves! He persevered, clipped the chains, and gave a little yell. Psyched!!! Nice work Derek, here's too you and Stuffing wolfs. Cheers!
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Oklahoma Land Run

Today I'm raising a beer to Oklahoma (much like I do most days I suppose) because on this day in 1889 around 50,000 people lined up, waited for the gunshot and rode into Oklahoma and began claiming their new land in the land run.

So have a drink in honor of our state today, and read this NYT article from 1889 about the land run. Learn some history. Notable quote from the article:

"The other day Chief Deputy Ensley discovered a barrel of beer on the platform of the station at Norman, and he destroyed it in the presence and to the infinite disgust of dozens of thirsty travelers."

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Crag Cooking

Some friend's of P&C have posted a nice crag cooking tutorial. Very educational video from the lovely Abbey Smith and Ultimate Warrior Jason Kehl.




Visit Jason's place here. do it now.
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pimpin', white n nerdy style

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Spring Me

I'm calling it. Spring has officially arrived, FINALLY! For us up here it has been long anticipated. Being teased for weeks with a day here and a day there is frustrating, but alas, I think we are finally in the clear. Skiers are whining, climbers are salivating. The longer days allow us to sess after work in sunset lit crags like the Bastille, Anarchy, or the boulders of Flag. Suddenly, we have switched from seeking sun to shade and it won't be long before we are hiking up to higher elevation in attempts to escape front range heat. Some things that make us happy about spring:

1: Longer Days
2: Warmer Weather
3: Green Stuff
4: Short Shorts and Sun Dresses
5: Flip Flops
6: BBQ's

Short Addendum to the Spring blog: Along with spring comes cleaning. These two go hand in hand like peas and carrots, cowboys and indians, beer and brats. Arnie and I did some spring cleaning today at the house which inspired me to clean my rig too. Oh boy, and hour and a half after I started, 15 water jug bottles, countless snickers wrappers, 11 coffee mugs, a laundry bag full of clothes, 5 lbs of dog hair, some puke, and 9 ink pens later my red carriage was clean as a whistle. Ready for the summer, the road, and $4.00 gallons of gas!
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It does a body good...

I have a new hero-Buster Martin of England. Never heard of him? Well, that's excusable. He's not cranking hard numbers or scary numbers or lots of numbers. Actually, he's not cranking any numbers and I doubt he's ever even roped up. He's not actually a climber, but in fact, is a marathon runner. Normally, I'd never give a second glance at some skinny dipshit running around in a tank top and shorts that no man should ever be seen in (the only other exception is Wig but that's just because he has three balls). But old buster is different.

When I say "old" I don't mean it as some endearing epithet. I mean it in the most literal and biological sense possible. Buster is 101 years old. But he's not my hero because he's a glimmering star of hope to the hobbling hunchbacks of the geriatric clan. I love the guy because he has the balls to do what the fuck he wants and it works for him. The guy has smoked longer than most people will live. People have no doubt been telling him to quit longer than I've been alive. But he's still at it and still running. Hell, he smokes when he trains. And trips to the pub with pints and girts are the standard post training cool down.

But lets be honest here. I'm just looking to justify for my own habit and hoping that if have enough smokes and beers, my ass will magically appear clipping the chains of Zulu, 5.14a. And that beard is baddass! I'm jealous.
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Ethos

I just had a short gchat convo:

me: werd!
Andy: yo dude, i'm drunk as fuck.

There is not much I can say about that, other than awesome.

pimpers and crimpers unite--> email us your best story from a night out this weekend and we'll post you up here (anonymously if we need to).

send all stories to pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com
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Facebook

Hey everyone,

We have a facebook group now!

I sent out invites to everyone I could think of that would even be remotely interested in this. If you didn't get one, join anyway, the group is open so everyone can join in on the fun. If you don't have facebook, well, then you have to tell as many people as you can think of to tell about P&C.

Thanks,

The management.

I leave you with this:


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I'm sorry

I have to apologize. I've been away. I haven't been posting. I have excuses of course, but I'm going to save them for a time you won't forgive me. Until then though, you all should know, that for the time being I, Wig, am unemployed.


This means I get to post a lot more on P&C.
And I will be.
I think the freelancin' life is the life for me right now anyway.
Alright that is all of no consequence though you people don't care! You want entertainment!

So here's what we got lined up for you:

-Next Friday i'm going to try to have an extra special Free Shit Friday to make up for the lack of one today. (I'm sorry, I don't have a job remember?).
-We have a new comic coming through that I'll be posting occasionally called Adventures of the Dudebrah. It's written by John Proctor, one of the coolest people on planet earth.
-Also from here on out I am going to start posting P&C's Climbing Cutie of the Week. If you are a climbing cutie or you know someone who should be a climbing cutie. Please by all means email us and tell us why you/she deserves such a high honor.

Alright that's it for this update. Another will be coming pretty soon.
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Lets Go Shopping!

I have a dream. Not necessarily the same vision as MLK Jr., but a dream nonetheless. This dream starts by walking through automatic sliding glass doors into a climate controlled environment that pumps oxygen through the ventilation system so you automatically feel a sense of euphoria. As soon as you walk in the door a lovely young woman walks up to you and hands you a cool or hot beverage of your choice. Note, that the lovely young woman could also be a lovely young man depending on your sex or sexual orientation. As your little mitts wrap around this savory liquid treat another young woman brings you a horse to mount, and you mount it. Changing from the cold steel of an average shopping cart to the supple leather of a saddle bag feels good. As you climb atop your steed you realize that this is going to be the best shopping experience of your life. Clucking to your pony he breaks into a smooth and casual gait as you venture up and down aisle after aisle. Oh no, you have finished your beverage, no problem, out of the blue comes another gorgeous woman with a refill. See, this little dream of mine is a vision of the future for shopping. Imagine a Sam's Wholesale Club or Costco where your wildest dreams are purchased alongside tubs of Mayonnaise and 25 packs of AAA batteries. This dream started last night when Cass explained to me that in order to get my psyche back I needed to be in the market for a project. I agree with him, everything that I have been on lately seems to disinterest me. So, I should go shopping for a project. On another note it was also mentioned that I was in the market for a girlfriend and I should go shopping for one of those as well. What if I could stroll down an over-sized warehouse aisle scoping brunettes, blonde's, red-heads, hard sport routes, scary gear pitches, and ominous high-ball boulders all at the same time! Pure bliss! We need a store like this in America, Land of the Consumer and Home of the Over sized portion. I would surely indulge. Until that day, that glorious day when beautiful women, beautiful horses, beautiful beverages and beautiful projects coalesce into one giant wholesale shopping experience, until that day, I am still in the market for a project and a girlfriend. If you happen to know of one or the other that I may be interested in, or both, then I would greatly appreciate an email at pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com.
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Whiskey Wednesday Props

This week's Whiskey Wednesday Shots go to...

Dave Graham. Okay, okay, most of you may be thinking that Dave gets so much hype he doesn't need anymore, well, bull shit! The reasons I am buying this virtual round for Dave is not because he just put up another V15 in Font, not because he has done a billion 5.14s, but it is because Dave is probably the most psyched climber on the planet! Basically, I just want some of his energy to magically rub off on me. So, here's to SuperDave, keep pimpin (if you click the link above you will see dave sporting the new spring tank by american apparel, now that's what I call pimpin!) and keep crimpin.

Photo: Courtesy of: www.monodedo.com (see the psyche!)
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tax day!

All across the golden plains, bustling metropolises, and high mountains, the great people of america are scrambling to pay, or if you're lucky, be paid by, ole uncle sam. It started out feeling like a lucky day. My refund was larger than I thought it would be, all my shit was printed out, and all I had to do to appease the wrathe of the IRS was make to the post office by 5. Work kinda sucked-it was so windy i thought I was going to get blown away and the job wasnt that fun. But whatever. I finally finish, get things cleaned up start packing my tools, take a look at my phone just to make sure i've got time to make it to the post office.

Mutherfucker. My screen is cracked. Still, no big deal, I think to my self. I'll get another from Wallmart tonight for like 20 bones. (no it wont take pictures and play tunes, there's no built in video editor, but it'll let me text and talk). I get the truck packed, take a couple swallows of water, light a smoke, fire up the old s10 and start cruising home.

I'm chugging up the last hill on 470 toward golden, hoping the post office hasn't closed yet, thinking about climbing projects, beer and titties, but mostly day dreaming about that rebate that's coming in a month, and thinking I'll use it to help buy a car that doesnt have 285K miles.

CLUNK. "what the hell was that?" I'm slowing down. "WTF is going on?" Possibilities are racing through my head. Did my new clutch just fly apart? Is an invisible dragon trying to steal a ride? I remember that occasionally, my transmision pops into neatral out of 4th gear and this hill is steep enough and my truck old enough, I barely maintain 60 miles an hour even down in 4th.

I'm still slowing down.

I shift out and back into 4th. Damn my engine feels weird when I rev it.

I'm doing about 45 now. I look up in my review mirror to see how much I've clogged the interstate. I'll never really know because all I can see is a giant cloud of blue smoke fpllowing me. The giant traffic jam is left up to my imagination. I look to my right and left in vain hope that there is some other clunker responsible for all that damned pollution.

"that's it, i'm done for. I've thrown a rod or worse"

My heart doesn't sink. Every organ in my chest plummets. Streams of apoplectic filth stream forth a torrent from my mouth with more force and violence than Clear Creek's class V rapids. Had a sailor been sitting in the passenger seat he would have blushed. And probably would have learned a thing or two.

That lasts for about 15 seconds. Some sort of sanity returns and I think about pulling over but decide to try to make it home on my blown engine.

I'm now going about 35.

I have 4 stoplights to make through. I'm done at stoplight numero uno. I stop. It dies. It does not start. Luckily the road is downhill so i coast through the intersection. Nobody honks. Apparently this is common in Colorado with all us dipshit dirtbags running around. It cranks and cranks and does not start and I add oil and it still does not start.

I start thumbing through my phone to get a ride. "fecking shit. I my screen is cracked and I cant see anything". My first few attempts to dial blind fail. But finally i get a hold of Angela, and 30 minutes later I'm sitting at the Spot having a beer, having too many smokes, and skeeming with Cass on how we'll con AAA into towing the piece of shit for free.

But after all that, I still got my taxes postmarked 4-15-2008. And on the 15th of April, that's all that matters.
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Grrrr, not Grrrr as in Tony the Tiger's slogan, GRRREEEAAATTTT! This grrr, is more like Sam when you wake her unexpectedly from a nice nap in the sun. Frustrated and annoyed. Seems I have been feeling a little sluggish in the climbing category as of late. As the spring arrived I was psyched and feeling strong, doing harder routes in less tries, onsighting, and getting ready for warmer weather and climbing after work. The culmination of my spring energy must have peaked on Easter sunday when I did Road Warrior second try, onsighted Road Rash Roof, and sent Finger Prince second try. Praise the Lord and pass the biscuits! I was psyched! However, and there always is a however, my exciting winter resurrection has since been quashed by low energy, heaviness, low motivation, and whatever other excuse you would like to insert. It seems that post Easter I have been getting worked on nearly everything I have tried. Today I went bouldering after work at Flagstaff. Grrr, I was getting spanked, once again. I have nothing, but that is the thing about climbing and climbing day in and day out. You have this Ebb and Flow. Sometimes you can't help but crush the pea out of things and other times you can't help but flail. Right now, you could say I was flailing. I guess Passover is this Sunday, so we can see if Religious holidays play an important role in all this, and if so, just watch out! I am going to be the most post-modernly superstitious person you have ever roped up with. Lying in wait until Kwanza, Dharma Day, Ramadan, and of course Easter!

Desperately needing some psyche,

Adam
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The first ever house party was a success. I'm givin' props to peterman for kick starting the night. You see that giant growler Jen's chugging in true kentucky style? That's adam's idea of a pint. werd. We drank, we ate, we smoked, we danced, it was one hell of a shindig. I somehow ended with ski goggles on. I smashed cake in somebody's face. And somebody dumped spaghetti on my head. I've spent the day picking dried tomato sauce out places you wouldn't believe.

I know that you're probably consoling your agony over missing out by thinking about how shitty we must feel today. And you're no doubt hoping that I'm now going to opine about my splitting headache and my stomach that feels like its full of battery acid. Psyche! No hangover and a spectacular day of cranking and crimping. That's just one of many little tricks of the P & C lifestyle that our lucky intern will learn.
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Par tayy!!!

Okay, for all of you that are out there wishing you were in the CO, well, wish hard! The first ever house party is going down right now as I type this! Werd! For all the homies out there, we are pouring one out for you. PEACE!
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Female Eviction ALERT!!!

Just got word from the horses mouth that P&C's good friend Jen Sauer has redpointed The Evictor, 12dR, at Eldo's Rincon wall!!! No stranger to hard routes, this la femme send machine has been dormant for well on 6 to 7 months and basically, off the couch, has fired the evictor ground up, placing gear, in very few burns. I can only think of two other women who have freed this route, Lynn Hill and Heidi Wirtz, good company Jen. Cheers to Jen I am going to buy here a Golden City Pint in 30 minutes.

Picture: Jen freeing the Glass Menegarie, 13a, in North Carolina.
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Free Shit Friday #2 (update)

Was this one too hard for you little sissies?

The answers were all in wikipedia for goodness sakes.

I'm disappointed in all of my Oklahoma brethren. Very disappointed.

The correct answers by Angie from a mysterious Derek Peavey email address...

1.End of oct. 07
2.Dick and mac macdonald, San Bernardino, Ca 1940
3.Two all beef patties/special sause/letuce/cheese/pickles

/onions/on a sesame seed bun.
4.Ronald Mcdonald and he started the Ronald mcdonald house charities.

Now technically the last answer was incorrect but I realize now that maybe not all the McDonald's have the plaque I'm thinking of, so I'm letting this one slide as they probably have this plaque as well.

This is the one I was thinking of:

But whatever I don't care. This week's winner is "angie" or Derek Peavey. Or someone. who knows. Tune in next friday for a better prize.
whoo.

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Free Shit Friday #2

Last week Lucas Marshall took home the prize in a hurry. He made everyone else look incredibly dumb. Let's hope this is not the case this week.

This week Free Shit Friday is brought to you all by McDonald's. I have a gift certificate for this weeks winner.

The rules are the same as last week. The first person to send in the CORRECT answers to pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com will receive both my respect (maybe) and the gift certificate.

Okay so here we go.

1. What date did the McRib's Farewell Tour III begin?
2. By who, where and when was the first McDonald's opened?
3. How does the big mac jingle go?
4. In many McDonald's there is a plaque near the registers. Who is on this plaque and what did he do?

Okay, I think that's it for this week. Enjoy. Good Luck.
Include your address if you think you're a winner so I can mail you yet another highly coveted prize.
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The Call of the Intern

So here's the deal-e-o. By the way I just realized how ghey 'deal-e-o' sounds, sorry. Okay, Arnold and I are currently accepting applications for summer interns! Duties include: Some house cleaning, some beer buying, some poop scooping, some crimp crushing and sloper grooping! It has been a dream of mine to have a personal intern for a while now, so I am posting an ad on craigslist boulder and austin. Abundant couch space, glorious views, luxurious accommodation's, etc, etc. Ideally, we would like to take on someone who is fairly new to climbing and see where they end up at the end of the summer. As the emails come in I will be sharing them on P&C as a sort of broader Board of Directors decision making process. So, if you know of someone who may seem to be up to this have them email me at pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com.

(wig edit: include relevant shit. like some sort of resume type thing and maybe a eye catching cover letter that isn't boring.)
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Honorable Mention, sort of...

Honorable mention Whiskey Wed. shots should really go to the Huber brothers because after I posted this morning I confirmed that Alex Honnold has in fact free soloed Moonlight Buttress in Zion! Sick!!! I really haven't been able to comprehend this feat of impossible proportions all day, but it is true. Alexander the Great has been having a superb year, soloing classic hard routes at will, repeating hard hard testpieces in the desert second try or onsight, and just plain gettin it done. Cheers to Alex, nice guy, but badass!

Solo sickness!

Check Alex's scorecard, pay close attention to the traditional sends.
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Whiskey Wednesday

Ahhh, Wednesdays. The mid-week, hump-day, and Whiskey Wednesday. Just imagine a darkly lit dive bar, underground, playing tunes from the juke box you actually know, this little paradise is place called The Sundowner or the Scumdowner. Wednesdays at the Downer are a sight to behold. For a measly $3 one can purchase a delicious shot of Early Times whiskey AND a Pint of PBR! Wow, if that isn't the best deal in town, I don't know what is. The AAA have extensive knowledge and experience at Whiskey Wednesdays and make it a tradition not to missed when visitors happen to make it into town on a Wednesday. I won't give away all our Whiskey Wednesday secrets in this blog because I want all of you salivating for your oppurtunity to join us on one of these splendid Wednesday nights in Boulder.

In memorial to Whiskey Wednesday, I will be rearing my virtual shot of whiskey to someone that P&C thinks deserves a shot, would like to drink with, or has drank with. The first Whiskey Wednesday shot is raised to the Huber Brothers. Who better to drink with than the Hubers. Big Wall free routes, Austrian, and clad in Leather and Denim. AWESOME!
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Gunks Gumby

Yesterday I went to the Gunks to climb. In a fit of gumby rage I decided to make a fool of myself.

We climbed a route called something wick I'm not really sure. It doesn't even really matter I suppose.

It is rated 5.7G. For those of you that don't know anything about climbing or climbing grades that means it's easy, has big holds and an abundance of available crack placements. I thought that this would be a wonderful warm up. To some degree I was right. It was a great warm up that kept me on the sharp end for close to an hour.

The climb started out normally. It was a nice day out. Not too cold not too hot. I racked up with a variety of cams and a set of nuts (which you don't actually get to use too much in the horizontal ledge systems in the Gunks). I noticed I was slightly nervous as I began climbing for some reason. I figured as soon as I got going and got some gear in I'd be fine. It let off a little, but I was climbing slowly and cautiously for being on a 5.7 jug haul. Well whatever I was thinking. It would be over soon, and then I'd do something else.

After sorting my way and zigging and zagging through a few wet parts I reached a large ledge covered in mud and wet grass. Despite my best efforts to avoid the grass I eventually was saturated. The bottoms of my shoes were soaking wet. my knees, thighs, arms and hands were covered in mud and water. Every hold I reached for was full of water. The chalk was doing nothing but caking in clumps.

I say all this like it's an excuse. It's not. The climb was low angle and riddled with large easy to hold onto holds, but I was being a big fat cry baby. I looked left and right for probably 30 minutes on this ledge. climbing up and climbing down climbing left and climbing right. Down climbing, setting a cam, climbing up, deciding that was a bad placement and climbing back down to get it only to reset it somewhere else. I was doing that because it was my absolute last piece of gear, and the next one down was about 15 feet away and I still had 20 feet of dripping stone left to climb. I fixed my eyes on this tree on a ledge and tried everything. I had a large sling left and a locker so this was basically my only option.

I was not interested in slipping off going for the tree, falling, hitting the ledge 20 feet below, breaking my legs and then cascading down the rest of the climbing until (hopefully) one of my pieces caught me. Well, at least I wasn't interested in doing that on a 5.7.

Eventually I got to the tree. I immediately looped the tree, clipped in and lit a cigarette. I pulled Kevin up to me who made the climb look like walking up stairs. Kevin and everyone below gave me a hard time for making the climb last so long.

I did what any self-respecting climber does in this situation. Went bouldering for the rest of the day.

Moral: Even the P&C crew can be gumbies on occasion.
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spraying and manifest destiny and ludacris

Last week, Adam told you he likes to talk about grades, moves, and hard routes. That’s mostly because he’s a pompous jackass. I’d love to tell you he’s wrong, that I’ve never partaken in such an egregious activity, and to write pages of vituperative invectives and condemnation. Unfortunately, I can do neither. Rather, I feel bound by conscience to provide an ontological framework which both defends and supports Adam’s directionless ranting.

Imagine for a minute, talking about baseball, but never mentioning a score. Or day traders talking shop but saying not a word about money. Or drag racers who never bring up their time slip. Imagine Ludacris never telling you how many records he's sold. Counting and keeping score is as old as man. In fact, it turns out that humans are essentially born understanding basic math, and we've been fine tuning it for millennia. From roman numerals, to arabic, counting systems of base three, 20, 80 and 10, to double entry book keeping and the invention of zero, humans have been obsessed with counting. We count cows, camels, dollars, gold nuggets, chicken nuggets, socks, and stocks. If you can imagine it, guaranteed there is way to count and quantify it. Climbing is no different. But for some reason, climbing is uncomfortable with its counting and score keeping. It's natural for everybody else, why not us? Counting climbing is anathema, as though the very invention of the numbers had been foisted upon us by some vile infidel, intended to defile the Sacred Craft, to turn the Craftsmen from the True Path and dissuade from the True Way and Purpose.

huh? sounds ridiculously religious doesn't it? But what other reason is proffered to a spraylord like me who claims he likes keeping score? “That's what is so exceptional about climbing, it’s not like all those things, it’s not about competition and keeping score.”
“It's not about the numbers.” “That's not the point of climbing.”

Not the point of climbing? What, exactly is the point? It is as if climbing had been granted a holy teleological charter with divine purpose. As though climbing were so special and unique because it had been sent down from the heights of great Olympus in order that man may transcend mind body and nature and become at one with the cosmos and ascend to a deeper understanding through cathartic adventure. I don’t know where these ideas come from, but it’s as if there were this giant cult of climbers who follow the teachings of the Purpose Driven Climber. Indeed, throwing around all these hefty words like purpose and exceptional sounds eerily reminiscent to the old doctrine of Manifest Destiny, that illbegoton and (hopefully) abandoned idea that the great experiment of democracy springing forth in America was meant by Providence to serve as a beaconing Shining City on a Hill, that it’s purpose and destiny was to expand, civilize and Christianize from Sea to shining sea. The empires of Rome, Britain, even the Nazis used similar excuses of National Exceptionalism for the dastardly deeds they committed in their quest for expansion.

I submit that there is no point to climbing. It’s an activity that you and I just happen to find more engaging than cribbage, quibbage and car racing. It’s the most fun you can have with your clothes on. You’re running around squeezing rocks because you can't find any tits to squeeze. I like to squeeze and I like to keep track with numbers. You might not. Whatever. You can tell me I'm wrong. But I'll call you a Nazi.
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Black, Primrose, Luxury Liner crack attack

Last night the American Mountaineering Center here in Golden held a slideshow presented by Ed Webster. For those of you that know or don't know Ed Webster ranks right up there with the most hardened of hardmen, old school, brass ball, climbers that the world has seen. Originally from New Hampshire, Ed lived in Colorado Springs during the 70's and 80's and amassed an astounding resume of First Ascents from the Black Canyon to the Desert and pretty much anywhere else he decided to climb. The stories were gripping to say the least and there was more than one occasion where ole Ed's partner would fail to show up for some nail up or FFA of something, so what did Ed do? Solo. No Partner, No Protection, No problem. These adventures are far far from the experiences that I have rock climbing, guys like Ed make my bolt clipping poofness seem trivial. Peek a small list of Ed's FA's. We at pimpin and crimpin neither feel pimpy nor crimpy alongside such climbing royalty, we bow in respect to the Ed Websters, Layton Kors, Royal Robbinses, Steve Hongs, Jim Eriksons, and anyone else who has hauled 25lb brass balls up scary FA's with nothing buy hexes, nuts, and EB's.

After the show Arnold and I adjourned to Derek's house for beers and broohahaing. We decided, or rather Arnold decided, that it was time for an adventure of our own. So, soon, very soon, your very own sissy sport climber boys are going to take their hip hop listening and american apparel asses to the black. Oh boy, stay tuned for that blog, should be full of fun things like adventure slings, setting anchors with cammy things, ticks, and sketchy gulley descents.
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Free Shit Friday (update)

Okay, so the competition is over. Actually it was over in about half an hour because of the intrepid Lucas Marshall.

This is him. Isn't he a strapping young lad? 

Well he is now at least. He won a free VIP La Sportiva one time use pro-deal card getting him access to the wonderful La Sportiva products at a discounted rate. woohoo. 

His (correct) answers: 

1. Warren Harding

2. Garda (hitch/knot)

3. Metolius

4. Rifle

5. Mickey's Beach

6. Ceuce, France

7. Tuolumne

8. Gunks

9. Switzerland

10. MadRock

bonus: "I would have to say because you are hung like a blue whale"

(editor's note: While I will neither confirm nor deny this claim, it is in fact the wrong answer to the bonus questions. However, he did not need it so it doesn't matter.)

So there there you go. Here are some highlights from the people who did not win but gave a valiant effort:

 

1. Katie Brown

3. Metolius, those are sick. you can pump so hard with em.

10. Christian Louboutin

also. from a very special friend:

Warren (Drunkard) Harding

Munter (Ze Germans)

Metoli-crotch

France (I hate that word) 

Mad Cock (I mean rock) 

Bonus: Do you have a big ween?

(editor's note part 2: I almost let him win even though he didn't even answer all the questions. Also, why does everyone think I have something large downstairs. I'm honored.)

Tune in next week for more free shit!

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Free Shit Friday

So I was thinking about Friday and how awesome it is. I wanted to do something special for our... what probably 16 readers? maybe? So i thought, "Hey, let's do Free Shit Friday!"

Perfect right?
So check it out. So the winner of the first Free Shit Friday will receive a La Sportiva VIP pass to their website for a one time use pro-deal on whatever they have. I checked it out the other day, and the discount knocks a good chunk of change off a new pair of shoes or really whatever you're going to be getting. If you're broke like me every dollar counts.

So.

The first person to email me the CORRECT answers to the following questions will receive the very coveted prize.

Questions:

1. Who was the first person to do The Nose on El Capitan?

2. What knot (well...hitch I guess) uses two carabiners and allows rope to be fed in one direction but locks when pulls the other direction?

3. What company makes the new cams that look an awful lot like Aliens?

Where are the following routes located:

4. Pump-o-rama (5.13a)

5. Surf Safari (5.13d)

6. Biographe (5.14d)

7. Shipoopi! (5.11d)

8. Foops (5.11)

9. Dream Time (V15)

10. What climbing shoe company uses "Science Friction" technology with their climbing shoes?

bonus (correct answer will be substituted for one wrong answer): Why on earth would anyone call me Tripod, The Triumvirate, Tre, Triplet, etc. ?

Email all answers to pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com with Free Shit Friday 1 in the subject line

Alright get to it!

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Mad LOLZ

Alright. I know.
This has nothing at all to do with climbing. I couldn't help myself though because this has everything to do with being hysterical.

The video would be funny enough without the subtitles. The subtitles though make it one of the greatest things I've ever seen.

enjoy.



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Spot Fixation

Summertime 07: The sun peeks its head through the window, I feel warm, real warm. Waking up, I remember, I am supposed to go climbing today, fun! As my senses come to, I realize that something is amiss. I am sweating profusely, I smell a mixture of balls, booze, and dirty feet. I am in my sleeping bag? I roll over, I am in the back of my rig? Steven Charles is here? Wow, brain overload. Speaking of brain, mine hurts. I unzip my bag and peel the sweat soaked t-shirt from my torso and open the hatch to my camper shell. It's early, but hot. I think I woke Steven, but I'm not sure. Luckily, I have bivied in the parking lot of Noa Noa, our little coffee shop hang here in Golden. Coffee good. I reach behind the seat and grab a shirt and stroll into get some wake up juice. Steven stumbles out, I think his brain hurts too.

Steven had called me from the road as he was on his way into Golden, I told him to meet me at the spot. I remember sitting on the patio sipping brews and blowing smoke, but what else happened? How did I end up in camping in the parking lot? I already knew the answer before I asked it because I was all to familiar with The Spot bivy. Seems we shut the bar down and decided not to drive, good for us. However, we also decided not to walk home, maybe because we were a little worried about navigating the dangerous streets of Golden so late at night, but probably not. We overindulged? No. Couldn't be. We were going climbing, that's why Steven came, to climb, what were we thinking? Oh well, we had been in this position before, probably too many times before, but we knew the drill. Coffee. Water. Food. Cigarette. More coffee. More water, then sending! That is the theory at least, 60% of the time it works, everytime.

I can't remember the crag we went to. I don't remember if I climbed harder than 5.8. I can remember this though, I had a great time! So, basically, this blog is a sort of toast to The Spot. Thanks for causing many a would be redpoint to drown in the hops, barley, and booze that pours from your tap! Cheers.

Pic Numero Uno:Icelandic dude demolishing a Triple Beer waterfall. made-in-england.org
Numero Dos: Steven Charles pimpin! andrewchasteen.com
Numero Tres: Steven Charles crimpin! photo: Wig

(click pics for larger view)
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Spraylord

I'm going to be completely honest, I have a spraying problem, there, I said it. The arsenal of tactics with which I employ this spray range from a subtle fine mist, like the kind that feels good on a really hot day, to full on hydration overload. Depending on who you are and our relationship, I have gotten you wet. Ha, I have to laugh at that.

Anyway, I have been trying to articulate the reason why I spray down friend and foe alike. Let's face it, we rock climb for many reasons and it is my belief that one of those reasons, however small or large, is ego driven. Now, I have gone through stages in my climbing career when I took the high road by saying things like "oh, I don't care what the grade is, I think the moves are cool," or "climbing is about a connection to nature and people, how hard I climb is irrelevant." Although I still believe those statements to be true, I don't live by them. I've abandoned my view that climbing is this Sharma infused, spiritual 'Pilgrimage' where I journey the globe looking for zen, chi, chai, or whatever the hell Buddhist bead wearing gurus look for. I say each to his own, good for the sojourner of life, but climbing embodies simplicity to me, not philosphy. I go to the crag, I grab holds small and large, I scream sometimes, I fall, I send, I belay, I try hard, I have fun. I like to climb hard grades, I like to talk about climbing hard grades. What is so wrong with that? Since grades are relative to some point, sure, my climbing resume is meaningless upside super mutant kids and professional climbers, but I spray because I am psyched about my accomplishments and the things I am working on. Seems to me that the people who cry sprayer are the people who wish they had something to spray about or may be self conscious about the things they are proud of. Stand tall if you just onsighted your first 10c, tell me about it, but don't dog me if I tell you about the 12d I just flashed. Give me the mutual respect that I give you. If I wasn't pushing myself, then I probably wouldn't spray. But I do, so get used to it!

Here's part of the justification. When the topic of conversation is climbing, which it always seems to be, how can I tip toe around the tulips so as not to offend or taint the conversation with spray? I don't have the answer, I don't think it is possible. If you and I are talking about a crag or a certain route and I have onsighted that route or climbed it, I am going to tell you about it. Not in a demeaning way, but I am going to let you know. If my old climbing partners call to see how I am I spray them down with the things I have just sent, the things I am working on, and the goals I have set for the year and I want them to do the same. Whether the goals are equal or not is not the issue, it's the motivation. Seems to me that I get driven because my friends are driven. I like Seeing my friends psyched about the same thing I am psyched about, climbing! So, I am going to end this blog with two items for my spraying pleasure. The image is me onsighting a route in Oklahoma called Ra, a traditional 11d. I have wanted to do this route, onsight, since I started climbing. Ra is iconic in Oklahoma, something hardmen tell their kids in bedtime stories and around campfires. The second form or spray is a link to my scorecard, yes I have a scorecard and I am unapologetic about it.
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Gravity Brawl 2008

I am feeling particularly resentful of this sometimes unrelenting city today. It's loud. Between the subways, cabs, straphangers, tourists and vagrants I find myself frowning a lot. Especially while it pisses rain outside. Tomorrow should be beautiful, however. 

It is not tomorrow yet, though, so i searched a little and remembered why I like where I live at le

ast a little bit. 

I drove to New Jersey this last weekend for the 2008 Mammut Gravity Brawl. 

I got to watch Matt Bosley, Kevin Jorgeson and Rob D'Anastasio and others duke it out in the finals with la femmes Alex Johnson, Paige Claassen and other hard pulling women sorting out their differences via colorful plastic blobs and techno music. 

It was a spectacle to be sure. The lights. The people. The energy (ugh please forgive me but it's true). It all came together to bring me a little piece of climbing love. I remembered why I fell in love with this sport and why I continue in poverty to keep at it.

Here are some photos fro

m the event. They are by no means excellent photos at all, rather just some of what went on. Shit I don't even know all these guys names which may be even bette. They were climbing and got me psyched. 

Enjoy and keep climbing. 

(click the pics for larger versions) (edit: ugh. more pics coming. technical difficulties.)

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