Thursday, April 17, 2008

Lets Go Shopping!

I have a dream. Not necessarily the same vision as MLK Jr., but a dream nonetheless. This dream starts by walking through automatic sliding glass doors into a climate controlled environment that pumps oxygen through the ventilation system so you automatically feel a sense of euphoria. As soon as you walk in the door a lovely young woman walks up to you and hands you a cool or hot beverage of your choice. Note, that the lovely young woman could also be a lovely young man depending on your sex or sexual orientation. As your little mitts wrap around this savory liquid treat another young woman brings you a horse to mount, and you mount it. Changing from the cold steel of an average shopping cart to the supple leather of a saddle bag feels good. As you climb atop your steed you realize that this is going to be the best shopping experience of your life. Clucking to your pony he breaks into a smooth and casual gait as you venture up and down aisle after aisle. Oh no, you have finished your beverage, no problem, out of the blue comes another gorgeous woman with a refill. See, this little dream of mine is a vision of the future for shopping. Imagine a Sam's Wholesale Club or Costco where your wildest dreams are purchased alongside tubs of Mayonnaise and 25 packs of AAA batteries. This dream started last night when Cass explained to me that in order to get my psyche back I needed to be in the market for a project. I agree with him, everything that I have been on lately seems to disinterest me. So, I should go shopping for a project. On another note it was also mentioned that I was in the market for a girlfriend and I should go shopping for one of those as well. What if I could stroll down an over-sized warehouse aisle scoping brunettes, blonde's, red-heads, hard sport routes, scary gear pitches, and ominous high-ball boulders all at the same time! Pure bliss! We need a store like this in America, Land of the Consumer and Home of the Over sized portion. I would surely indulge. Until that day, that glorious day when beautiful women, beautiful horses, beautiful beverages and beautiful projects coalesce into one giant wholesale shopping experience, until that day, I am still in the market for a project and a girlfriend. If you happen to know of one or the other that I may be interested in, or both, then I would greatly appreciate an email at pimpinandcrimpin@gmail.com.

3 comments:

Andrew said...

Adam, can you smoke inside this dream store?

Jacquelyn said...

To bad your not still in OKC!!!

http://blog.newsok.com/girlvswild

Shane said...

My grammar is a little week. Did you just say you wanted to indulge in an oversized woman's highballs?